‘That’s hardly likely, Anna,’ she said.
‘No, I know. But – if it was?’
Mum shook her head. ‘You know, we weren’t happy together. Not for a long time. Getting divorced is so awful that, when it first happened, I thought I’d never get through it. But it was only when he came back the other week that I remembered something. When he moved out to be with Ellie, I was hurt, yes. But more than anything else, I was relieved.’
‘Relieved?’
Mum gave a little sigh. ‘No more rows. No more having to walk out of the room to stop myself screaming at him.’ There was a trace of a smile on her lips. ‘Being my own boss, if you like.’
‘Oh.’ I’d misread things. Massively. I felt so dumb. ‘So even if… so you don’t want…’
Mum reached across the table and squeezed my hand. ‘I’m sorry. That’s not what you wanted to hear, is it? But I’ve moved on. Just like your dad. We’re OK with what’s happened. We just need you to be fine with it too.’
I bit my lip.
Zoe came with a card she’d made herself and a moonstone ring from Dead Bouquet, one I’d tried on a couple of weeks ago. I wore it as we sat at the kitchen table and Zoe painted my nails a midnight blue.
‘I was thinking,’ she murmured, making sure Mum wasn’t in earshot, ‘We could have a Halloween party at the flat. Wouldn’t that be amazing? It could be a late birthday party for you too.’
I nodded. ‘Who would we ask?’
‘Some people from the shop and maybe Jodie too. She asked us to her party. She could bring a few mates too. There’d be a good crowd.’ She paused. ‘You could ask Luke if you want.’
I smiled at her. I knew she wasn’t mad on Luke and she’d been moody yesterday when I’d told her he was taking me out tonight. Plus, asking Luke would mean asking Kerry. We couldn’t really get out of that, I knew.
‘Might not be his sort of thing. I’ll think about it.’
Zoe started to paint tiny silver stars on my nails. ‘I’ll get loads of stuff for decorations,’ she said. ‘Or I could paint stuff on the walls. That’d be good.’
‘Don’t spend lots of money,’ I said. What I meant was, don’t go pinching stuff just for this.
Luke was kind of quiet when I went to meet him. It’s the sort of thing I pick up straight away – someone else’s mood. Only no one is ever honest about it, or at least not at first. They will keep saying everything is fine and no, nothing’s wrong, until you’re driven mad with the thing you know they’re not saying. And after a hundred asks, they might eventually tell you what’s the matter.
Luke was just the same. He had a cloud around him. I wondered if he was fed up because Zoe kept texting me, though I hadn’t replied. I didn’t even read the messages. Eventually, I even put my phone off and that still didn’t lift the atmosphere. I started thinking that secretly he wanted to break up with me, but just wasn’t saying so because it was my birthday. In the end, I asked him outright if that was what it was.
His mouth opened for a moment before he replied. ‘No, it’s not that, Anna, I – I think about you all the time. I’d hate it if we split up.’
‘You have to tell me what’s wrong then,’ I said.
Luke snapped a bread stick into three parts and curled the paper up into a tight spiral shape. ‘Kerry’s been telling me about this empty flat.’
‘Oh,’ I said. Not telling Luke about it suddenly seemed really sneaky.
‘Is Zoe actually living there?’ Luke asked.
‘No, ’course not, don’t be daft.’ I hesitated. ‘She’s spent a couple of nights there, though.’
Luke raised his eyebrows.
‘I haven’t,’ I added, quickly.
‘Kerry thinks there is all sorts of stuff in there – new things – and that Zoe’s more or less moved in.’
I shook my head. ‘That’s not true.’
Luke played around with the rolled-up paper for another minute or two. ‘Anna. I need to know. Why are you so mad on that Zoe? I don’t get it.’
I hadn’t expected this. ‘She’s my best friend. You know that. I really like her.’
‘But why? I could understand it when you first moved to the school and you got stuck with her. But now you know how mean she is to my sister, most of the time. And she’s so – well. Everyone thinks she’s a loony-tune.’
I pouted. ‘I don’t.’
‘She does crazy stuff,’ Luke said. ‘Kerry says she steals. I’m worried she’s going to drag you into it too.’
‘Well, that’s not going to happen.’ I pushed my plate away. How come every time someone treated me these days, I ended up having some sort of a row and getting put off my food? ‘But don’t expect me to abandon Zoe. I know she and Kerry don’t get on. Don’t ask me to take sides.’
‘I’m not.’ Luke pushed his plate away too. ‘OK, maybe I am. Zoe isn’t a very nice person. You are. And it’s not like Kerry and Zoe are as bad as each other. Kerry can’t stand up to someone like her.’
I shrugged. ‘I like Zoe. I – I love Zoe. I won’t drop her. It’s up to Kerry if she wants to hang around me. But Zoe will always be there.’
Luke made a defeated sort of a face.
But the next day, when I tried to call Zoe, she wasn’t answering. Maybe, I thought, she was angry because I’d ignored a string of messages from her last night, asking me to call when I was out with Luke. It wasn’t till early evening when she finally texted back. At flat. Cm round asap pls x.
When she opened the door, she looked even paler than usual. She didn’t speak, just held the door open and followed me back inside. Already, the place was covered
