‘My father can’t live without her.’
‘Of course.’ He could see that. He probably knew that the day she was born, and had just refused to admit it. But now he’d seen the child with his own eyes. Properly seen her. Not like all the times he’d seen her in church and hated her for keeping him from Edie. Now he’d received the gift of one of her smiles he knew there was something about her that made you feel contented and at peace with whatever life brought. His mind frantically searched for an answer. He could live with them, but she saw his thoughts and shook her head.
‘You wouldn’t be happy in another man’s home, you wouldn’t. I’ve made my decision, Theo. I know where I am meant to be. I’m sorry.’
He stepped away. He thought he was going to take her away, to give her freedom from the child. But she had chosen the child. She wasn’t caged, she was already free.
Just like that he found himself able to let go. He wouldn’t come to the door any more. He would find another way to be with her, another way to let her know his love would be undying.
Edie slowly began to shut the door on him, thinking it was finally done and he was gone. She had set him free. She had nearly abandoned everything for him. She fell against the closed door still clasping Gracie to her. She leant her cheek against the door; on the other side Theo stood with his forehead pressing against it. The door could have been a mile thick with him on one side and her on the other. They were in separate worlds now.
Theo wandered off down the side of the house. He didn’t take the path, he walked on the dirt and kicked at the stones with the toes of his shoes, wondering what he’d do now; he had no plans, no ideas, no future. He hadn’t thought about anything beyond winning Edie. He hadn’t even thought what he would do when he won her.
He was halfway to the front gate when he heard a voice calling to him. It was a sweet voice and an unexpected voice.
‘Wait, I’ll marry you, I will.’
He turned and saw her in the dress that had first captured his heart completely, that skirt that had enraged everyone with its ridiculous shortness. It seemed quaintly old-fashioned now and he chuckled. He watched her ankles as they tripped along the stones, the hem of the pale blue skirt falling around her feet like clouds. She took his hand and skipped alongside him, she was faster than him and soon she was pulling him along behind her as though pulling him through life.
He let her lead the way and she took him down Webster Street and across Wendouree Parade and down the dirt path that circled the lake. He had to take little running steps to keep up with her as they almost ran along the path. He didn’t see the stares or the gaping mouths of those who saw them. She kept going, pulling him along until they reached the spot the children called Fairy Land, where the tall grasses grew tall. In behind the grasses, where the earth had been baked dry and hard by the sun, she fell breathless to the ground and pulled him down on top of her. She didn’t say a word, she was kissing his neck and he kissed her shoulders and then he parted her bodice and kissed her breasts and her skin was fresh and pink and for the first time since Africa he felt nourished. He laid his head on her bare breasts and shut his eyes and drank in the smell of her. He found his way under her skirts and slowly, slowly walked his fingers up her legs and inside the warmth of her body and he knew he had needed that warmth more than he had needed food. He undid his trousers and pushed her clothing aside and she drew in a sharp breath as he gently moved inside her and all the wanting, all the waiting was satisfied and in ragged breaths he whispered, ‘Marry me, marry me.’
And he felt such relief in knowing she would say yes.
Twenty
The Engagement
Monday, 6 November 1911, when the weather is the only thing that is fine.
All day Beth held onto her secret. She had told Edie she was ill and needed to spend the day in bed, but she wasn’t really ill — she just couldn’t look Edie in the face. So she lay in bed clutching her stomach, which filled with shame when she thought of Edie and Colin, and then with happiness when she thought of Theo, which washed the shame away. The shame and happiness crashed into each other like waves, making her seasick.
Edie was kind and said not to worry that she had missed Gracie’s cake. Whatever happened it must have been important to make her disappear like that. Edie brought her tea and chicken soup, which she couldn’t eat because the kindness only made her feel worse. Then at five she slipped out the back door and walked to Colin’s.
Beth knew she was too early, Colin would still be at the pub, but she wanted to catch him before he got inside the house. If he got home before she caught him then she would have to knock on his door and then she would have to talk to his mum. So she paced up and down the track worn in the grass outside the house, she kicked at stones on the road, and she wondered what Beatrix Drake was doing next door and if her fella was with her. She must have been waiting for an hour when Colin’s front door creaked and groaned as it swung open. She knew it couldn’t be Colin and she didn’t
