I’m a star, Matt. Wanna know why? ’Cuz I’m incredibly talented (national cheerleading finalist three years in a row, lead in MOST of the plays when certain non-Catholic bitches don’t get in the way, and a very dignified, kind person).
I will be leaving this town in less than a calendar year, and I will most likely be leavin’ it forever. There’s nothing here for me, Matt. Besides my super athletic, gorgeous boyfriend, C.P.C. But he will visit me on Broadway. You heard of Broadway, Matt? It’s this very important place where STARS end up. You could end up there too, Matt . . . but if you keep flyin’ too close to the sun you’re gonna get burned.
What is it about your fascination with this Joy Rebecca Bernstein? Just because she’s playin’ Sandy and you’re playin’ Danny does not mean you have to hang out with her. It’s a very, verrrrry Freshman-y thing you’re doing, hanging out with Joy. I know you think that if you spend private time together you will give a better performance come show night. But that’s a myth, Matt.
In order for me to protect you from Christopher’s wrath (he has a dark side when pushed) and to keep your reputation intact, I would suggest you let me in. Let me into your world.
Look, if you’re sleeping with Joy, you can tell me. And if you are havin’ a sexual dalliance with her, I am prayerful that she treats you with the respect you so deserve.
And are you aware that Joy is now wearing my fragrance? I’m not mad about it. It’s just perfume. Like, I don’t even care at all, buuuuuut it’s all very, veeeerry curious, do you know what I mean?
Anyway, I am here to protect you the way only a big sis could.
I look forward to your response. I promise to keep Christopher calm until I hear from you.
Fondly,
Tara Maureen Murphy . . . SENIOR!
Dear Tara,
I just read your note. How did you get it into my backpack? I’m not mad, I just didn’t even see you put it in there.
Let me start off by saying thank you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much for telling Chris I’m not being conceited. I really appreciate that.
I didn’t even realize I was acting differently. I still don’t know exactly what I’m doing that’s different, but I definitely don’t want people to think I’m cocky. I hate conceited people, so I don’t want to be one of them.
You have been so nice to me since I got to South High. I will never forget that for the rest of my whole life.
I never want to bother you at rehearsals because you’re always with the other Seniors, and, I don’t know, I guess I feel a little uncomfortable because it seems like Joel Waldman and Ari Levy hate me because I got Danny Zuko and they didn’t. My mom and dad always raised me and my brother to do our best and go for our dreams, so I went for mine. I never meant to make anyone hate me. I wasn’t trying to take a part from them. But anyway, I always see you hanging out with them, and it feels like I shouldn’t interrupt you guys.
I’ve become really good friends with Joy. She just gets me. She does all these funny voices, and we have a bunch of inside jokes. Like our own language. That probably seems dumb to you ’cuz it’s kind of immature, but maybe it’s just ’cuz we’re younger so we like it. I gave her that perfume as a show present. She gave me Drakkar Noir, so my mom took me to the store to get Joy a perfume. I didn’t know which one to buy, but then I smelled Anaïs Anaïs and it smelled good and familiar, so I bought her it. But now that I’m thinking about it, maybe it smelled familiar ’cuz you wear it and maybe I smelled it on you. So thank you for being the inspiration for Anaïs Anaïs perfume. Joy loves the perfume soooo much. It smells awesome on her.
I really think it is so cool that you’re like my big sister ’cuz with my brother being at Syracuse and pledging Phi Kappa Psi he never even has time to talk on the phone so I can never ask him stuff right now. But I do have a crush on Joy. We haven’t had sex, but we did make out the other night, which was really awesome. I am thinking that I want to ask her out, like to be my girlfriend, but I’m nervous because what if she said no and then we have to be in love in Grease (which opens in like three weeks, which is crazy).
So what do you think I should do? Just ask her out? Or just keep hooking up but date other people?
And are you sure I shouldn’t talk to Chris so he knows that I’m not being conceited?
Thank YOU SOOOO MUCH, YOU ARE AN AWESOME OLDER SISTER!
Matt
P.S. I totally understand what you mean about being a star.
P.P.S. Camel Lot sounds so awesome. If I ask Joy out should I take her there to do it? Where is it?
Dear my angel, Christopher,
I will come over to your house tonight, and I will record your answering machine greeting. Because I love you more than life itself, Christopher.
I’m just sittin’ here in calculus, and I was thinkin’ about you . . . naked. I can’t wait to kiss you later!
Your Girlfriend,
Tara
T—
I know I told you this last night, but I gotta say it one more time: YOU ARE THE SEXIEST GIRL ON EARTH. Probably Mars, too.
You are such a good person.
I
