Megan raised a hand to her brow. ‘I can’t imagine why you would do that. Especially after what you did with Mike and the hotel.’ Her face turned red. ‘But I guess you’re the same meddling busybody you’ve always been, treating people like your pawns rather than friends or family. I wonder if that’s what James got fed up with? Perhaps he fancied sampling a normal woman who didn’t try to control him.’
We both gasped, and for a moment we just stood there, staring at one another. Megan was panting. Her words stung partly because they came from sweet Megan’s mouth and partly because they might have been true.
‘I didn’t mean that,’ Megan said eventually, softening her tone. ‘But sometimes you just steam ahead without a thought for other people’s feelings.’
‘But everything I do is to help others or save other people’s feelings,’ I said, becoming aware of a tremor in my voice. It was true – I meant no malice ever. Apart from that one time with Lauren and even that I regretted.
She shook her head and slumped against the wall into a silence that lasted too long. ‘I suppose there’s no harm done if it’s just a profile, not really.’ She sighed, and I really wished that were the case. I hadn’t got to that part. ‘So, did I get any interest?’ she sighed.
‘There were a few sleazy men wanting nothing more than a night between the sheets.’ I paused. ‘One called himself Mr Luvva, spelt phonetically.’
She winced. ‘It seems a good thing I’ve got my eye on Sam.’
I forced myself to carry on. ‘There is one seemingly decent man who got in touch,’ I added tentatively.
‘Oh?’ She raised her eyebrows in anticipation.
‘A primary school teacher. Very handsome.’ Would that do? I wondered. I couldn’t oversell him for fear of sounding too interested myself.
‘Well, I’m not interested. I want to be around for Sam – he needs me.’ She shrugged. ‘Anyway, all this chatter is doing nothing for your muscle tone, and I’m on the clock! Stand on the mat, feet hip-distance apart.’
And just like that, we were onto a new subject. At least everything was out in the open, though I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to now do with Andrew. He was all lined up, ready for a date, and Sam had come along and stolen Megan’s affections. I rolled my head around as instructed, and then my shoulders, but the tension still filled my chest. The deep breaths and stretches were doing nothing.
‘Don’t you at least want to see the teacher’s profile? You might want to go on a date to see if you get on?’ I said a little later.
‘I’m happy seeing where things go with Sam,’ Megan said again, glaring at me. ‘If Sam thinks I’m interested in other men, he’ll think I’m not interested in him.’
‘But Sam might not be ready for a relationship. He might not even be interested. If I were you I’d—’
‘Stop right there.’ Megan took me by surprise and I did as I was told. ‘You need to stop interfering in other people’s lives, Charlotte. I think the world of you and I know you’re a good person but you have to let people deal with their own crap.’
‘But—’
‘No buts. I’m dealing with my situation and anyway, if you’re desperate for a project, you have the small matter of a certain dating profile to decommission.’
I bit my lip. It was excruciating but she was right. She was making a huge mistake and I couldn’t stop her.
‘So you’re not curious about Andrew?’ I couldn’t stop it from popping out.
She boggled at me. ‘Andrew?’
‘The primary teacher.’
She looked at me pointedly. ‘No.’
Things were, once again, not going to plan.
Once Megan left, I did everything I could to avoid checking for messages from Andrew. I cleared out my walk-in wardrobe and the clothes I didn’t or couldn’t any longer wear, I took to the charity shop owned by the hospice out of guilt for not pulling my weight recently. I pulled out my last big purchase, the Missoni dress from Harvey Nicks, and looked at it. It was a nice dress but in light of everything it seemed so pointless – a thoughtless splurge that meant nothing but cost a month’s salary for most people. Yes, it was a nice dress but I hadn’t needed it – I stuffed it into the bag. I started to realise that it’s people that really mattered.
I went to the farm shop on the way out to Wilmslow and then came home and prepared dinner. James came in and placed his newspaper down on the table before kissing my forehead, a gesture that made my blood run cold rather than hot. It was just after six again.
‘How are you feeling?’ he asked.
‘Still a little nauseous.’
‘Will that go away?’
‘Maybe, maybe not. We should tell your mother.’
‘Yes, I was planning on inviting her over for dinner.’
I shot him a sideways look.
‘Perhaps we could take her out for dinner instead,’ he said hastily. ‘I’ll call her.’
I glanced over to the pans on the stove, tortellini bubbling away and a homemade sauce alongside it. ‘Fine,’ I said. He could have that for lunch the following day. Normally leaving a meal I’d just prepared would rankle me, but I didn’t care any more.
James called his mother and we both changed for dinner before taking my car to pick her up. Safe in the knowledge he had a designated driver, James didn’t need to start the age-old marital debate about who would drive home. However, if either of us needed a drink, that person would be me.
I’d sat in the back on the way there to allow Frances the shotgun seat next to her prized possession. I zoned out as she wittered on about how James was so successful and how he deserved so much pampering for working so
