‘Yesterday we kissed, and it didn’t feel wrong or peculiar. It felt . . . like it’s supposed to.’
‘That’s great, Charlotte, it really is.’ She smiled. ‘Samantha and Sam are getting a divorce.’
‘Oh?’ To be honest, I’d not thought much about Sam lately. I hadn’t had many Pilates sessions on account of my morning sickness, or even seen much of either of them socially as James and I had been making more of an effort.
‘He’s coming to terms with it,’ she said. I couldn’t help but sense hopefulness in her tone.
‘Good.’ I copied Megan’s gentle stretches, not wanting to interfere.
‘It’s been three months, though. I’m not complaining but if it were me I’d be fighting like crazy!’
‘Maybe she just accepted it.’ I shrugged. It seemed Megan had more trouble letting go of the whole situation than I did. I wondered if she missed the drama and focus of our little investigations.
Once she’d left, I logged onto the laptop to read Andrew’s latest message. I’d started to see him as a companion and found myself eagerly awaiting contact from him. It was exciting to talk to someone who found me interesting and wanted to hear what I had to say. It was different than talking to Kate or Megan and Sam – and James, for some reason.
I stared at his last message
It’s so odd: we haven’t met but I feel such a strong connection to you. It’s like we’ve known one another for years. x
I’d been unable to reply when I got it because all kinds of stirring sensations were conjured up inside me that I knew were wrong. It made me smile, even though it was doing it again – the stirring; I knew I had to put a stop to it – I was leading him on, and as a married woman, I was crossing a line.
I feel it too. x
I hit send, clasped my hand to my mouth and gasped. I’d fired off the message instinctively. Perhaps pregnancy was doing something to my hormones. But I’d even searched on the internet and read chatroom conversations from expectant mothers and the general opinion was the same: everyone felt an overwhelming sense of love towards their unborn child, like me, but nobody mentioned anything about having feelings for random strangers off the internet. If I was looking for some kind of solidarity or common theme – I wasn’t going to find it.
I fell even more in love with my husband.
My partner and I became so much closer.
We fell in love again.
All I could think about was my baby and the wonderful man who helped make it.
The words whirled around in my head. I had to put an end to it all. I’d been a bored housewife and things had got out of hand. Again. I needed to tell him, but I couldn’t do it in a message.
I think it’s time we arranged to meet up.
He replied almost instantly.
I’d love to. When and where? Andrew xxx
My eyes focused on the kisses by his name. I wasn’t just in a pickle; I was in the pickle jar with the lid clamped shut.
Chapter Fifteen
As I approached him in the little tearoom, the steadiness of my breath started to diminish and instead came out in little bursts. I felt ridiculous, immature, and irrational. A whole mixed salad of stupidity.
He caught my eye when I was a few metres away but glanced straight back to his phone. He didn’t recognise me, of course. We’d shared so much and knew each other well that I’d subconsciously assumed he’d know me, give me a friendly wave or a smile or something. I paused for a moment at the insistence of my heavy chest and became aware of my fingers trembling. Taking a deep breath, I switched myself onto autopilot for the last leg of the journey.
‘Hello,’ I said, sitting down in front of him.
He looked a little startled, and I couldn’t help but notice that his long eyelashes framed his piercing blue eyes beautifully.
He cocked his head to the side, just enough to allow a piece of hair to sweep over his eye. ‘Hello?’ The inflection he added made it sound like a question, which of course was valid since a seemingly random stranger had just plonked herself down uninvited. He looked over his shoulder a little nervously, like he was worried Megan would show up while he sat with this other woman.
‘I know you’re expecting Megan,’ I began. There was a marching band playing up a storm in my chest.
He frowned but let his shoulders relax and sat back in his chair. It was incredibly wrong of me to notice how his T-shirt hugged his biceps, but I did.
‘I have some explaining to do,’ I continued. ‘I’m Megan’s friend, Charlotte.’ I paused as a flash of concern flickered across his face. ‘Megan is fine,’ I said quickly. ‘The thing is, well, it’s difficult to say.’ Sitting there, looking into those hypnotic eyes, I was struggling to find the words.
I took a deep breath. ‘I’m the person you’ve been talking to you these past few months on the Me & You website.’ I tried to ignore how his jaw tightened slightly. ‘Megan’s fiancé cheated on her, and after she’d kicked him out, I set up the page intending to let her take the account over once she was ready. I wanted to line up a few first dates, nothing more.’
I shook my head and let out a nervous laugh. Would he see the funny side? ‘She is the person in the photograph, but the conversation, well that was me.’ All me. His jaw clenched, and I wasn’t sure things were coming out quite the way I’d intended.
‘This doesn’t make any sense.’ He shook his head. ‘Why would she want you to do that?’
I winced. It was a very good question. She wouldn’t. ‘Megan didn’t know.’ He straightened in his seat. ‘If you knew me, you’d know I
