‘You do know I suggested looking at baby crap and not an all-night session with Gerard Butler don’t you?’ Kate said, pulling herself to her feet. I gave her a stern look and made my way towards the stairs.
‘Okay, grab the chair from my dressing table,’ I said as I sat in James’s big leather swivel chair. Kate wandered off and came back in, heaving the wooden chair from my walk-in wardrobe. By the time she’d shuffled around and positioned herself next to me, the laptop was loaded up.
‘I feel a bit weird logging into James’s emails without asking,’ I said, suddenly conscious it was wrong.
‘Well, will he mind?’
I shrugged. ‘I don’t think so. We’ve used each other’s emails before – he knows I have his password. Besides, it’s just his personal one – there won’t be any sensitive case data in there or anything.’
‘Oh, that’s a shame.’ Kate smirked.
His email address was automatically in the username box so it was a simple case of adding the password. A slither of irritation pierced me as I keyed it in.
F-R-A-N-C-E-S-1
Kate clocked the keystrokes and rolled her eyes.
I scanned the inbox. It had been sent over a year ago so I’d have to go right back through them all. Luckily, James was good at deleting out all the rubbish so there were just a few pages to scour.
‘Hold on.’ Kate placed a hand on my arm. I eyed her curiously and she pointed to the screen. I looked up and saw it.
s.smith
‘Gardening invoices. It’s just S—’ I began, but then I noticed there were an awful lot of messages from S. Smith and the subject line was blank in each, which was odd for professional emails. I hovered my cursor over the most recent, which was dated lunchtime that day. There was a deep thudding feeling in my chest and my mouth went dry as I looked to Kate who gave me an encouraging nod.
I’m so horny for you, James. I can’t believe Boothman had to join our meeting today and ruin our 1:1. Looks like it’s Skype-fun again – usual time? I’ll be waiting for you by my laptop. My clothes won’t ;) xxxxxxxxxx
I glanced down at my trembling hand and back to the screen, double-checking the date. Surely I’d misinterpreted something. Some legal code?
‘The one-to-one, it’s what they do to thrash out ideas isn’t it?’ I said it aloud. Kate stared at me. ‘And the Skype-fun, that’s just sarcasm, because the case is really boring isn’t it?’
‘And the horny, and the kisses . . . and the clothes?’ Kate spoke softly. ‘That bastard.’ She shook her head.
‘There’s a mistake. Perhaps she’s just pursuing him still, like a Fatal Attraction type thing. Maybe that’s why she hasn’t been pursuing Sam. It’s an illness really isn’t it?’
Kate gently slid my hand off the mouse and transferred it to her side, opening the email beneath, dated nine o’clock that morning.
Mmm last night! Working nights has never been so good. xxxxxxx
I slumped back in my chair. ‘It could be one-sided.’
‘There’s a reply.’ Kate looked at me uncertainly. My voice wouldn’t work so I waved my hand up to indicate she should open it.
Indeed! I haven’t stopped thinking about you. Who knew that boring old office chair could be so exciting? xxxx
I felt sick. Kate placed a protective arm around me. ‘Come on. I’ll make you some tea.’
Kate led the way, ranting about James, but I wasn’t really listening, I was processing. It wasn’t just about me any more, it was about my baby as well. How dare he do this to my baby, to his baby, like we weren’t enough for him? He hadn’t even given our family a chance.
I was trembling as Kate sat me down and handed me some tea. ‘I’m going to read them all,’ she said. ‘I think we need to see what’s gone on. You stay here.’
I nodded and she traipsed back up the stairs. As soon as she’d gone, I clutched my stomach protectively. Through the anger and humiliation, love for my unborn child swelled within me. That was it for James. Betraying me once was one thing, betraying our unborn child was another. I wasn’t going to forgive him again. I couldn’t be one of those wives who just turned a blind eye to her husband’s indiscretions time and time again. We deserved better.
The room around me suddenly seemed so insignificant. The beautiful house I’d dreaded leaving was aesthetically pleasing but nothing more than well-arranged rubble. What good was a beautiful home when such ugliness resided within? It wasn’t a home filled with love like I thought it was. Just as the glass bead wallpaper masked the imperfections in the wall, the house masked the imperfections in our marriage. Even before James cheated, people never saw past the house and the cars, the good-looking couple and the nice clothes. They didn’t see the long hours James worked and the strain it put on our marriage.
I don’t know how much time had passed but Kate returned, a sombre expression on her face.
She sat down and sighed. ‘Well, the good news is, he did break things off with Samantha after you found out about the two of them. And nothing happened for a while. If email is their main source of communication, then it seems like this all started back up about three weeks ago.’
I threw my head back against the sofa.
‘It appeared as though he’d started confiding in her about the two of you not being . . . well, intimate. Things looked like they grew from there – there were gaps and things in the communication. I suppose they saw each other in the office.’
I had been quite cold towards James,
