‘To be honest, no. But it’s not something I’m bothered about. It’s odd. I’ve known you now such a long time – since before you were pregnant if you count the Me & You website.’
‘I know, it’s just . . . well, most men I’m sure would have run a mile.’
‘I’m not like most men,’ he said. ‘Besides that, I value life. If losing Beth taught me anything it’s that all life is precious, especially new life, and if my date is growing a human, then that makes her pretty fantastic, don’t you think?’
My stomach tightened so much it was almost painful and I came over all shy, unable to make eye contact for a second, which was so unlike me.
‘Anyway, I think this date was long overdue.’ He held up his flute.
‘That, I can agree with,’ I said, clinking my glass against his. ‘I can’t believe I’ve only got two weeks left! It will certainly be a shock to the system, but at least I’ll be doing what I do best.’
‘What’s that?’
‘Taking over, making the decisions, being in complete control – all in a helpful way, of course.’ I laughed.
‘Ahh, yes – and you’ll have the perfect victim, I mean beneficiary.’
‘She’s going to move out by the time she’s five, isn’t she?’
‘If she’s strong, like you, she might last that long.’
I nudged him playfully in the ribs.
‘I’m joking, she’s lucky to have a mother like you.’
I smiled. I wasn’t sure he was right, but it was a nice thing to say. ‘I’m planning on giving it my best shot.’
‘God help her.’ He laughed, proffering a sandwich, which I took gratefully. Being pregnant was odd in the sense I never actually felt all that hungry, because my stomach was squished up, but I knew I needed to eat.
‘This is delicious. Did you make them?’ I asked, tucking into a delicious lamb and chutney sandwich.
‘As a matter of fact, I did. Cooking took my mind off things after Beth died. I never wanted to go out for a meal or anything, and I had a constant stream of visitors filing through the door. Cooking was something I forced myself to do at first, by ordering a food shopping delivery each week, then I discovered I enjoyed it. I think it’s the structure – there’s no time for moping when you’re cooking: there’s prep, oven heating, and then putting it all together, cooking it, cleaning up, and so on. By the time it was ready to eat my mind was so clear, I actually had an appetite.’
‘So it was therapy?’ I said. I got it.
‘I suppose so. It took its toll though. There are only so many en croute dishes you can eat before your jeans don’t fasten.’ He grinned.
‘Well, I can’t exactly say anything about rotund bellies, can I?’ I giggled.
‘No, yours is definitely bigger than mine ever was!’ he said, raising both eyebrows animatedly.
‘So that’s where the gym came in.’
‘Yes, I still eat well, but I burn it off at the gym and on my walks.’
‘That sounds perfect.’ I started to feel uncomfortable, and my tummy cramped. ‘I think I need to stand up. I feel like everything is squashed up,’ I said.
‘God, I’m sorry, making a pregnant lady sit on the floor was a really crappy idea.’ He jumped to his feet and held both hands out. ‘Ready?’
I took them and put my feet out in front of me, pressing my heels into the ground as he pulled me up. ‘Thank you,’ I said, once I was on my feet. ‘My tummy can ache a little sometimes. I think it’s because my skin is stretched to breaking point.’ I smiled.
‘I’ll get this packed away and we can either have a walk or I could take you home?’
‘A walk would be lovely, but you’re on your own for packing up, I’m afraid. I can’t bend down.’ I winced as my tummy tightened again.
As he crouched down to pack everything back into the picnic basket, an almighty gush flooded from between my legs. For a moment, I was confused and embarrassed. Had I wet myself? My body wasn’t my own. Then an almighty wave of pain consumed me like a rabid wolf was trying to claw its way out of my stomach and I realised what was happening. Andrew was staring at me, mouth slightly agape.
All sense of propriety abandoned me. ‘Take me to the hospital. Now!’ I yelled.
‘Oh Jesus,’ Andrew said, swiping up the basket and linking his arm under me for support. My car is just there by the gate.’
I managed to hobble to the car before another wave of pain hit me. ‘These are coming quick and fast – I thought it was supposed to build up!’ I said between gasps.
He helped me in and shot around to the driver’s side, screeching away from the kerb seconds later.
***
By the time we reached the hospital, my urge to push was so strong, I couldn’t speak. A ripping pain tore through my stomach what seemed like every thirty seconds. I vaguely remember someone rushing towards me with a wheelchair and racing me into a delivery room.
‘You’re ten centimetres!’ the midwife had said. Apparently, there was no time for any pain relief, just gas and air. My birth plan went flying out of the window.
‘Push,’ the midwife instructed.
Andrew was there, face as white as a sheet. He definitely wasn’t in my birth plan. As far as first dates went, this had to be the strangest. Giving birth was a lot for men to deal with at the best of times. He was holding my hand, but I didn’t want to squeeze it so I clenched the bedding with my other hand instead.
‘Push!’ the midwife repeated. I was scared. I didn’t know how to push – I’d never pushed anything from there before. I was supposed to be having a water birth. Surely they had my plan. I didn’t have my plan; I didn’t even have my hospital bag. I
