“Don’t worry; everything is going to be okay. I’m here and your abuela is here andwe are going to take good care of you,” she said, smiling.
I didn’t’ answer her. There was a long awkward silence. Our mother and daughterbond was broken. I could tell that she was struggling to find something to say.
“Nelly, what happened to your hair?”
“What are you talking about, Mom?” I said, relieved that she was acting normal now,and happy that she had decided to change the subject.
“It’s growing so long,” she said as she began to run her fingers through my tresses.She pulled me back and looked at me.
“You’re so beautiful.” She gasped.
I blushed. It seemed that she was seeing me for the first time, not as a little girl, butas a young woman. I had grown so much. Although I was only thirteen, I had lived andsuffered more than someone who was twice my age.
“Don’t worry; everything is going to be okay. You’ll see. I’ll make it all up to you. Ipromise,” she said while leaning toward me. I could smell her sweat scent of lavender. Iclosed my eyes. I loved my mother when she was like this, clean and sober and so loving.Yes, it was true; she had a lot of ground to make up. But I was just happy to be with heragain.
~ ~ ~
Chapter Thirteen
Maria’s house felt like a museum. It was always cold, quiet, and the days lazilyrolled by. She didn’t say much. She moved around the house like a prehistoric T-Rex.Every step she took felt like we were experiencing a class four earthquake. Glassesrattled and books fell off the shelves. My mom told me that both doctors and friends hadwarned her about gaining so much weight. But despite their admonishment she managedto pack on the pounds anyway.
The extra weight made it difficult for her to breathe. So she would walk throughoutthe house, her feet slamming into the floor paneling and breathing heavily like DarthVader. Yeah, she was pretty scary. Let’s just say that I made sure that we were hardlyever alone together. And when we were, I was sure to make a left blank and retreat backto my room. I have to admit, I was a little curious about her. I kept asking my momquestions. She said that Maria had lost everything, that all four of my uncles were in jailand no one came to visit her. I wanted to ask her more. But my mom threw up her handindicating that the topic was closed.
“Don’t worry about that now. Put your shoes on and go and tell your brother that it’stime for us to go,” she said.
“Momma where are we going?” I asked.
“Nelly, stop asking dumb questions. I told you where we were going a week ago,”she said impatiently. I looked at her confused. If she had told me then I had completelyforgot.
“We’re going to see Chobo,” she said flatly.
“Oh,” I said. Suddenly I remembered. Chobo was the guy who was supposed to helpme. I turned on my heel and marched up the stairs and banged on Ali’s door. The musicwas so loud. I wasn’t sure if he could hear me knocking. I pressed my ear to it andlistened intently. Man, the music was mean, it sounded something like “Fuck him,strangle his ass, and shoot him up, shank that Nigga.” I pulled back and grimaced. Icupped my ears. The music was violent and beating up my eardrums. How could Alilisten to that? I turned the knob and walked in.
Ali’s room was dank and dirty, and felt like a dragon’s den. It was dark and smokyand smelled like feet. He saw me and quickly moved to turn the music off. He didn’t lookat me. He just flopped back on his bed with his back toward me.
“Mom says come on, we’re going to leave in a few minutes,” I said, timidly, whilerubbing my palms against my jeans. I felt like I didn’t know Ali anymore. He spent mostof his days locked up in his room and not speaking to anyone. I didn’t know what waswrong with him.
“I ain’t going nowhere,” he said.
“Ali you have to because momma said so,” I said.
“Go back and tell her I ain’t going,” he said without looking at me. I turned to leave,but suddenly there was a sense of burning anger inside of me. What was his problem? Wewere all here and a family again, and he was acting like a little bitch. Why couldn’t hemake an effort to be happy? I paused, closed my eyes and swallowed back a knot of fear.I summoned all the strength in my body and turned back around to face Ali.
“Ali?” He didn’t answer me.
“Why are you acting like a little bitch?” I asked in a quavering voice.
Ali turned on his side to face me. First, he looked at me like I was a matador wavinga red cape. Then, in an instant, he rolled off the bed and stormed at me. I tried to movebut he was way too fast for me. He clasped his fingers around my neck and strung me upuntil I was three good inches off the floor. I struggled to breathe and clawed at his faceand neck. I looked into his eyes. He was mad, like a wild animal on a verge of attack.
“Don’t you ever fucking talk to me like that,” he spat.
He leaned in close to me and his breath was stale and hot. His arms were long andmuscular and his skin
