Felicity’s grin was wide. “I don’t think you should give up hope on this just yet, darling. I think you might be in her thoughts just as much as she is in yours. There might yet be something here.”
Carmen wanted to believe in Felicity’s optimism, but all her mind could focus on was the memory of Ash looking like a startled rabbit ready to bolt as soon as Carmen’s confession had registered.
“I’m not so sure about that,” she whispered.
Ash lifted her binoculars once more. The viewpoint above the river here at Olifants Camp was sensational.
Below her, a group of three giraffes were drinking from the water. With their front legs splayed wide, they looked like giant tripods. God, Carmen would love this. Ash quickly snapped a couple of photos on her phone. Melancholy seeped into her bones.
It was a gorgeous day. The air was filled with birdsong and the sounds of insects. She’d spent the entire morning at the viewpoint, taking some time to just breathe it all in. After driving for a week around Kruger, stopping at one camp after another, she’d deliberately planned to have a few days at this one stop so that she could relax a little. She should be feeling happy, and on one level she was because Kruger was everything she’d hoped it would be. But…
She couldn’t stop thinking about Carmen and how everything had gone so wrong ten days ago. And she also couldn’t help thinking about how wonderful it would be to share something this beautiful with her. She could picture Carmen sitting beside her, her eyes wide in delight at the scene before them.
And every night, even though she was desperate for sleep, her mind insisted on letting her imagine holding Carmen, their heads touching, talking quietly about what they’d done that day and where they might go the next day.
Why did I turn her away? She’d been second-guessing herself every day since she’d walked away from Carmen that Wednesday morning. She had no recollection of what she did in the studio on the Thursday. Jesus, I hope I set the bloody alarm.
Carmen was pretty much everything Ash would look for in a partner. Not only that, holding her for those brief moments had been one of the most arousing experiences of Ash’s life. And also one of the scariest. When Carmen had been in her arms, all she could remember was holding Vikki that way. And look how that turned out . A sour taste filled Ash’s mouth. She stood and paced around the lookout, which she thankfully had to herself at the moment.
“I definitely did the right thing,” she said out loud, standing with her hands on her hips, gazing down to the river below. “I know I did.”
Except…somehow her mind wouldn’t quite let her believe it. Carmen looked so upset when I backed off. If it really was just a curiosity thing, as Felicity’s had been, would she have looked so hurt? Or maybe that had been the embarrassment. She probably just felt it a little stronger than Felicity did. God knows I’d feel it that much if I’d done that to someone.
Later, as she picked at her lunch in the camp’s restaurant, she used their Wi-Fi to catch up on messages and Facebook. There were no texts from Carmen, which didn’t surprise her, even though it stung just a little.
A message from Damian cheered her up, asking how the trip was going and if she’d be able to visit the couple of great viewing spots he’d recommended. He’d told her about them before she left, but in all the rush to get ready and the drama with Carmen, she hadn’t written them down. She tapped out a reply to thank him for reminding her. He was online, and the three little winking dots told her he was replying.
No worries. How are ya?
I’m good , she lied. Having a great time . Also a lie.
Cool! Beers when you get back. We haven’t caught up in ages, mate!
Maybe by the time she got back to the UK, she’d have figured out how to deal with everything related to Carmen. Because Damian was like a bloodhound when he got even a hint of trouble brewing, and she’d never get away with such lies face to face.
Sounds great!
What was one more lie added to the list?
Chapter 26
Tristan looked as dapper as ever, even in shorts and a short-sleeved shirt, when Carmen spotted him waiting for her at Gare du Nord. It was nearly ten o’clock at night, but he looked fresh and rested, his dark blonde hair, curly like her own, longer than she remembered. They hugged for several moments, and she berated herself yet again for not making time for her brother.
“Jesus, you look exhausted!” Tristan held her at arm’s length.
“Thanks.” The response lacked the bite she was aiming for; she didn’t have the energy.
He cupped her cheek. “Okay, whatever is going on, you can tell me over the champagne waiting for us back at the apartment.”
“Fair enough.” She looked around. “No Jean-Pierre?”
“He’s at home, preparing a few late-night snacks for us.” He slipped his arm through hers, grabbed her small roller case with his other hand, and led her towards the Métro.
The journey was quick and easy. Tristan and his partner now lived in a two-bedroom apartment in a fantastic old building a few streets away from Le Jardin du Luxembourg, south of the Seine. It was her first visit here, and as they climbed the ornate marble staircase up to the third floor, Carmen admired the beautiful building. Once again she found herself
