I couldn’t completely deny that either. “We can work this out, Wyatt. We can be a family. We can be real.”
“No. No fucking way. That ship has sailed, Sinclair.” He leaned toward me. “How can I build a life with you when I don’t trust you? When you’re the type of person that would keep me from knowing I was a father. Especially since I’d made it clear that I loved her. Not even then did you deem it important enough to tell me the truth.”
I swallowed as my world truly crumbled. “I should go, then.”
“Oh no. We have an arrangement, remember? Or are you going to betray me and other farmers on that too?”
I supposed I couldn’t blame him for striking out at me like that, but God, it hurt so bad. “No. I’ll stay if you want.”
He pointed at me. “What I want is for you to move into another room. From this moment forward, our arrangement is just as we’d initially set it up. As soon as I can get papers, you’ll sign them saying I’m her father. You’ll get a new birth certificate naming me as the father.”
I nodded. “Yes, of course.”
He looked at me with such a mixture of pain and anger. “How could you? You’ve destroyed me.”
“I know and I’m so, so sorry. What can I do to make it up to you? Please, there must be something.”
He shook his head, his expression turning sad. “It’s over. Whatever we started, it’s done. I can’t even hardly look at you.”
I burst out crying, knowing all this pain was my fault. “Why couldn’t you have stayed?”
“Don’t. Don’t make this my fault. I’ll own the fact that I missed nine years because I was young and scared. I left, but I never lied. I never kept secrets.” He inhaled a deep breath. “I can’t decide what hurts more. That you never wanted to tell me about Alyssa or that you think I’m the kind of man that’s unworthy to know his child.” He turned and headed back to the house.
I stood alone, lost in emotion. There had to be a way to salvage this, and yet, I knew it was impossible. I destroyed him emotionally. I betrayed him. He’d never forgive me for that. From now on, he’d look at me and see the woman who lied to him and kept his daughter from him. I deserved this pain.
I wiped my tears away and considered sneaking through the front door to go to my room…or another room because I couldn’t face him or Peggy. But Alyssa had a family, and she deserved to have us together, even if it was just for this one night.
I stepped into the kitchen and saw them all eating together.
“Oh, Sinclair, I hope you don’t mind, Alyssa and I were too hungry to wait,” Peggy said. For someone who knew I lied about her grandchild, she seemed friendly.
“Not at all.” I took my seat next to Alyssa.
“Grandma…Miss Peggy says I can call her grandma. She says I looked like my daddy when I was a baby.”
“Prettiest baby ever.” Peggy handed me the mashed potatoes.
I wasn’t hungry. I couldn’t imagine ever eating again. But I knew I owed Peggy an apology too.
“Peggy, I’m sorry.”
She pursed her lips and looked over at Wyatt. “We all make mistakes, honey. I know I made a few in my time.”
“Still…I should have told you sooner. She’s your granddaughter. I should have told you.”
“I appreciate your saying that, Sinclair, but maybe it’s better you didn’t. I don’t think Frank would have made a good grandfather.”
Wyatt flinched and glared at his mother.
“My parents don’t know either. I…I need to tell them,” I said. I wondered if they’d be angry. Surprised for sure.
“Well, goodness, Sinclair, does anyone know?” Peggy asked.
“My brother. When I found out about Alyssa, I asked him to help me find Wyatt.”
“There, you see, she did want to tell you,” she said to Wyatt.
He scowled.
After dinner, I left Alyssa with Peggy and Wyatt and drove over to my parents’ house. As if God decided to cut me a break, Ryder was there too. I told them everything. My parents were stunned, and Ryder was relieved although sad that Wyatt wasn’t going to forgive me.
“Give him time, sis’. He’s been clobbered on a lot in life, but he’ll come around.”
I shook my head. “Not this time.”
“So, this marriage is real or what?” my father asked.
“Right now? It’s back to fake.”
My mother put her arm around me. “Wyatt Jones. I had no idea you and he were an item in high school.”
“It was just the summer after.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” she asked.
“I don’t know.” All the decisions I’d made since finding out I was pregnant didn’t make sense to me anymore.
“How’s Alyssa taking it?” my father asked.
“She’s stoked. She was already hoping he’d be her father. He asked me about adopting her.” I burst out crying again because I couldn’t bear the guilt and shame. I’d hurt two of the most important people in my life.
“Oh, honey,” my mother pulled me close. “Maybe he’ll come around.”
I had no faith that he’d change his mind, but I was committed to our arrangement. We were now going to be co-parenting, and so we’d have to find some way to be civil.
That evening, when I got back, the house was quiet. I crept up to Alyssa’s room and checked on her.
“Mama?”
“Hey, baby, I thought you were asleep.” I went in and sat on the edge of her bed.
“Are you and Daddy mad at each other?”
“Your dad is angry for good reason. I lied to him.”
“But he’ll forgive you, right?”
I pushed her hair back, wishing I could give her the family she wanted. “I don’t think so, but that doesn’t mean you won’t have a family. He and I love you so much and that won’t change. Okay?”
“’K.”
“Did you have fun tonight with him and Miss…Grandma?” I wanted her to focus on what she gained, not what I lost.
“Yes. He told
