“I wasn’t finished.”
I stopped my ramble and saw Taylor’s small smile.
“I didn’t want children because I thought I was a terrible person, and thus I’d be a terrible dad.”
“You never were a terrible person,” I insisted.
“I feel better about that now. I also didn’t want children just because my grandfather did. If I ever had kids, it would be because I wanted to. And Lydia, I want to. With you.” He wasn’t a very passionate speaker but there was passion in his words.
I felt tears slip from my eyes. “Taylor.”
“Now don’t worry about it,” he said, his voice returning to his neutral tone. “We might not have to worry about that for years.”
“Yeah.” I agreed, but as we sat and watched whatever terrible show had come on when I wasn’t paying attention, I couldn’t help but let my hand wander to my stomach.
***
“Where are you taking me?” Taylor asked from the passenger seat of his car.
I was driving today and didn’t tell him where we were going. He trusted me enough to get into the car with what little I’d tell him. “You’ll figure it out once we get there.”
“Is this part of the surprise you keep mentioning despite the fact talking about it is counter to the very idea of a surprise?” He asked.
My face burned a little. “Maybe.” He had guessed it in one.
Once we got into Chicago, I drove to the building’s parking garage. I led him up into the Sew Fit offices. The most he mentioned about it was a raised eyebrow but followed me without complaint.
Once we were at my station, without prefacing it, I handed him a hanger with a suit hanging off of it, the same one he modeled for me before.
He smiled and started stripping in front of me again. Once again, I enjoyed the show. He put on the suit that I had tailored perfectly for him. The light blue of the suit contrasted well with his dark hair and eyes, making them stand out all the more. He put his hands in his pockets and seemed to pose for me. “How does it look?”
I moved towards him, I couldn’t help it, I was attracted to him. I ran my hands down the front of his suit. It actually fit him, everywhere. And even though I didn’t want to, I also made sure the arms were right. It was great to finally see him in something that fit. It made all the difference. It made his broad shoulders and toned body more apparent.
“How do you like it?” I asked in a breathy voice, I couldn’t hide my desire with him looking like that.
“It fits.” He dragged his fingers through his hair in an obvious show of how the jacket raised with his arm, exposing the dress shirt slowly untucking from his pants.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said, about having a real marriage. And ever since Sew Fit got your loan, I’ve been able to hire people to share the load. So, I’ve been designing again.”
“This is yours? I thought you were just fitting something one of your designers made,” he looked over it again. “You’re good at this Lydia.”
“I was wondering if you wanted me to design your suit for our real wedding,” I asked.
“Of course,” he said. “Last time I wore a suit you made too.”
“I know, for the ruse.” I remembered being so upset.
“Yeah. And because the suit was well designed. I wanted to look great in the photos we leaked.”
“You should have told me that sooner.”
“Things have changed a lot since then.”
“This is yours, by the way,” I said. “This is the surprise. A one of a kind Lydia suit, for my husband.”
“It’s great.” He huffed out a small laugh. “I hope you don’t have any more surprises planned. I haven’t decided what mine should be.”
“Now you’re the one ruining the surprise, I had no idea you were planning on it.” We laughed some more but my thoughts kept drifting down to the test sitting at the bottom of Virgo’s bathroom trash can and what we had created.
Chapter 16: Taylor
I got dressed that morning in one of my older formal suits. It was traditional black and white, the kind you would wear to a wedding or a funeral. I felt like I was getting ready for a funeral. I made sure everything about me was immaculate. Today I would be seeing my mother face to face. I knew, somewhere inside me, that this would be the last time I would ever see her. I wanted there to be nothing to regret about the meeting.
Lydia also got dressed very simply. She wore a long, dark purple dress and over it wore a heavy coat to face the Chicago winter winds. She and I silently got ready; the air heavy between us. I knew she would support me through anything, but I knew how this must look to her. She must have seen this as me hurting myself. She might have been right. I just knew I would carry the heaviness over me for the rest of my life if I didn’t do this.
When we got into the car, I gripped the steering wheel for a few moments before starting the car.
“Are you ready?” Lydia asked. She’d been asking the same question in different forms ever since I told her what I planned to do.
My answer was always the same too. “Maybe.”
My mother lived in one of the nicest apartment buildings in Chicago. She had never worked her entire life, just lived off of the Hirano fortune. I had asked my grandfather when a good time would be to see her. Asking in a vague enough way that he couldn’t warn her.
We took the elevator up to her penthouse apartment. Through the clear glass we could see all of the city, dark in the early cloudy morning. A few traces of sunlight gleaming off some of the tallest skyscrapers.
When we reached her door, I brought
