“I need to speak to you, Hana.” I wouldn’t call her mother ever again.
“Come in, son.” She let us in and shut the door behind us.
Lydia kept true to her word. She didn’t say anything, but the presence of her hand on my back steadied me. I wasn’t sure why, but I could tell my mother wasn’t moving on me like she had in my home. She kept glancing at Lydia. I would’ve wanted to know more, but after this I was done with thinking about her if I could help it.
“Hana,” I said. “Do you have anything to tell me?” I waited as she hesitated. I wanted to know if she would even bother to apologize.
“I want you to stop this,” she said, her voice harsher than I remembered as a kid. “You never visit. You never ask how I am.”
I was worried last night, as I laid awake, unsleeping, that I would panic or lose myself, but instead I felt a different emotion: anger. “Why do you think that is Hana? Do you think I should just forget?”
“It was years ago. I’m getting older…”
I interrupted her with a harsh laugh. She was probably afraid of dying alone with no husband and no child. “You haven’t changed. But I have.” I felt Lydia grab onto the back of my suit. “I will never come back here Hana. And I never want to see you again. I’m going to tell both my father and my grandfather what you did to me.”
“No,” she cried and lunged forward.
Lydia stepped between us pushing her back away from me. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.
“And I will tell them I never want you near me again. I don’t want to get the courts involved but if I ever catch you on my property or at Hirano Enterprises, I will get a restraining order. It will be your lawyer against mine. And I’ll be CEO soon. I won’t keep funneling a stipend to you like grandfather had been doing for years.” I had learned about that a few years back and kept quiet. “Let’s go,” I turned and said to Lydia. She nodded and followed me towards the door.
“Taylor Hirano.” My mother said and I turned slightly, giving her one last chance before I left forever. She didn’t deserve it. “You are ruining my life.” Her voice was so full of venom. I couldn’t bring myself to summon the anger I had before, I almost pitied her.
“You raped me.” I said. I finally said the word I had always hesitated to use.
Without saying goodbye, I opened the door and Lydia and I left.
We walked down to the car in silence. Once inside and buckled, I was about to start the car, but my hands trembled. The shaking took over my entire body and soon I let tears fall from my eyes.
“Taylor,” Lydia murmured softly, rubbing circles into my palm. “You are so brave.”
I didn’t feel that way. But I was right, I did feel like something hanging over me was gone forever. Mrs. Tupp often said that healing was a lifelong process that never truly ended or ever went one direction. I used to see that as discouraging. I always thought that meant I would never be complete, that I’d always be broken. Now I was looking forward to a life of getting better with Lydia.
My crying slowly came to a stop. I wiped my eyes and started the car.
“What are we doing next?” Lydia asked.
“I’m going to go see my father.”
“On the same day?” She asked, somewhat shocked.
“I let him know the other day that I planned on coming over today, to meet his wife. And so, you could get to know him better since the last visit was cut off so short.” I remembered that phone call. It has started off awkward. I had no idea how to talk to him. We were both too old to start endearments or speak like a father and son should. But he was clearly excited to see me, which was more than I had hoped for. “I heard they have two Weiner dogs.”
“Really?” Lydia’s eyes lit up.
Dog people. I smiled.
***
My father lived on the other side of town in a small house that was almost as old as the city. The houses on the street were incredibly close to each other and the street itself was one of the few bricked streets left. It was a lovely looking neighborhood that must be covered in plants and vining ivy when it wasn’t so cold.
Somehow, I felt more nervous knocking on my father’s door than my mother’s. Maybe it was because I knew how final my meeting with Hana was. But this could be the beginning of a relationship I never got to have, a relationship that was stolen from me.
The door opened wide and my father stood with a fluffy, black Weiner dog in his arms. My dad was smiling in a way I’d never seen him do before. “Taylor and Lydia, come in.”
“Hey buddy.” Lydia immediately zeroed in on the dog.
“That’s Zeke.” My dad explained. “Pepper is the one with short brown hair that’s hiding under the table. She doesn’t like guests. But Zeke loves guests and loves to escape when the door is open.” When my dad shut the door behind him, he let the dog down. Zeke immediately began circling around Lydia who was delighted.
“It’s nice to see you again, Mr. Hayes,” Lydia said, shaking his hand.
“Call me Lincoln,” my father insisted.
“Father.” The word felt weird in my mouth. “It’s good to see you.”
He brightened up considerably. “I know
