"Did he see you without yourclothes on?"
"Mostly." Elizabeth looked down ather feet, ashamed.
"Did you or did you not sneak offwith him at Nancy's party?"
"No, we didn't sneak off. We werejust talking in private. I was shaken up by seeing him there. Thatweekend was a pretty low point in my life and I was embarrassedthat he had witnessed it."
"But then he brought youhome."
"Yes."
"Did anything happen?"
Elizabeth wanted to be outragedthat Peter would even ask, but she was on the defensive and feltguilty about her behavior. About wanting to see him again when heasked. She paused for just a moment too long before responding,"No."
He stood up. "If the adulterousshoe fits, Hester, then maybe you should wear it. I'm outta here."She shot to her feet in defiance, enraged that he would even dreamof making that comment. She was so angry and hurt that she couldnot even form words.
As Elizabeth stood there, Peterstormed past her. He grabbed his wallet, keys and phone andpractically ran out of the house. Just standing there, Elizabethrealized that Peter had just left her.
CHAPTER NINETEEN: June28, 2012
She so hadn't seen that one coming.She expected outrage. She expected Peter to fly off the handle, butshe thought his anger would be directed at Jack, not her. She stoodthere for probably ten minutes, in a stunned silence. Darkness wasslowly creeping into the living room, and Elizabeth realized itmust be close to bedtime for the kids. Still in a daze, shewandered up the stairs and found the kids watching some cartoon inher room. She sat down on the bed, and Sydney immediately curled upnext to her. She sat there, staring at the TV, but not absorbinganything that was going on until she realized that Teddy wastalking to her. "Mom? Can we watch the next show?Please?"
"Oh, um, sure. Fine. But you’regoing to bed right after that though."
"Thanks, Mom. You’re the best momever!"
If only such an easy solution couldalways win her such approval.
She put the kids in bed and turnedout the lights. She lay there, on top of her blankets, wishingsleep would come and deliver her into oblivion. It didn't come.Finally, around midnight, Peter came home. She turned on herbedside lamp when she heard him coming in. Elizabeth sat there,motionless, just waiting for him to speak.
After what seemed like an eternity,finally he said, "I don't know if I can be married to someone Idon't trust."
Elizabeth chose her wordscarefully. "Peter, you know I haven't been carrying on with Jackall over town. The book is fiction."
"Frankly, I don't care if you didor not. You didn't trust me. That's what this is about. You didn'tcall me when you got into trouble. You thought killing yourself wasa better solution than telling me you were unhappy. You yourselfsaid that the only reason you didn't totally give up was the kids.Not me, not us. You never once said what you had been through. Howam I supposed to deal with that?"
"Peter, in my defense, you werepretty awful to me back then. Right before I hit the pothole andgot the flat tire, all I could think about was not hitting a deer.You still give me shit about being run into by a deer. Like Iplanned it or something. Years later, you still bring up how muchit cost you to get the car fixed."
Peter grunted.
"Yes, I was terribly unhappy.Obviously. I would guess that I was pretty depressed as well.Peter, you didn’t notice me. You never did. You still don't. Icould dance around here naked, and you would only complain that I'min the way of you watching TV. I work so hard around here, for thekids. For us. And all you do is comment about how I need to makemore money. But the point is that I was so low that I wanted to dieto escape my life, and you didn't notice."
"And all you do is talk about whatthe other mothers have to say. And who's wearing what, and whatasinine snack you have to make." He shot back, defensive. She couldtell he was thinking about his next retort, not listening to whatshe had to say.
"But don't you understand that I doall that crap for the kids? Do you realize that they've been out ofschool over a week, and not one friend has called for a play date?And it's not because of them, it's because of me. Well, not mereally, but what people think I did."
"That's the stupidest thing I'veheard. I highly doubt that a rational adult would prevent their kidfrom playing with Teddy or Sydney because of some book."
Elizabeth shook her head. Shewanted to pull her hair out. "You don't get it. You never have.People care about this sort of thing. This sort of thing reallymatters. They don't want their kids playing at a house where theparents have loose morals. I don't think that it isunreasonable."
"So, what have people said when youtold them it wasn't true?"
Elizabeth shook her head again."That's the thing. I haven’t had the chance to defend myself. Noone will even talk to me to listen. Plus, I'm not sure that I evencan."
"What do you mean by that?" Peterasked incredulously.
"How do I do it?"
"What?" He was totally lost. Hisanger was still rolling off of him in waves.
"If I say nothing, then it isadmitting guilt. If I deny it, people assume that I'm denying itbecause I'm guilty. You know what they say—"
"No, what?" He was clearlyirritated.
" 'Gossip is never fatal until itis denied.' "
"That's bullshit. You tell everyonethat the whole story is made up and it's bullshit."
"But it's not made up. There'senough truth to make it undeniable."
Peter walked into the closet."Fine, have it your way."
Elizabeth assumed he was changinginto his pajamas. She was again blindsided when he came out with abag packed.
"What are you doing?"
"I can't be here rightnow."
"What do you mean that you can't behere right now?"
"I mean that I'm leaving for awhile. I have no desire to be with you."
Elizabeth felt like she had beenpunched in the gut. "How can you say that?"
"You're not the person I thoughtyou were."
"And who exactly did you think Iwas?"
"I thought you were someone who atleast had
