I refuse to look and see, if Ava has messaged me back.
Instead, I remind myself to be strong, and that it doesn’t matter what that phrase means. Taking my bag off my vanity, I set it down by my feet, as I distract myself by putting on my makeup. Unfortunately, that doesn’t take long at all, so I move on to fixing my hair. Normally, these two tasks take a while, since I want to look my best.
But tonight, it seems time isn’t on my side.
Now that I have nothing to keep my mind occupied, I glance at my phone. My heart races, because I want to know what Sebastian said. Giving up, I snatch my phone and quickly unlock it. Ava has answered me, and I tell myself it doesn’t matter what it means. It won’t bother me at all, and I can go about my night, as if nothing ever happened.
But as I read Ava’s answer, everything changes.
Suddenly, time slides to a halt, as my breath catches in my throat.
“Fuck me,” I finally say, reading over the message again.
At first, I think I messed up the phrase Sebastian said, but I’m sure I got it right. Then, I move on to thinking maybe Ava translated it wrong, but that quickly fizzles out. Ava has Viktor as her tutor, so I know her translation is far from wrong.
Feeling as if someone is watching me, I pull my gaze from Ava’s message, glancing towards the door of the locker room. Shock and confusion run rapid through my mind, as I notice Sebastian, leaning on the wall just outside of the doorway. He looks relaxed, as he stands there with his ankles crossed. It feels like Déjà vu, seeing him like this again. Not that long ago, he was in the same spot and in the same position, but tonight, something feels different.
Hearing my phone ping with a new message, I don’t immediately look to see who messaged me, or what it says. Instead, I hold his gaze, wishing he would just tell me what’s going on between us. I’m tired of being pulled in two different directions with my emotions. I’m sick of the mixed signals, and for once, I want him to plainly state what he wants.
Frowning, as he holds up his phone, I finally realize he means for me to check my phone. Against my better judgement, I pull my gaze away from him, grabbing my phone. Unlocking it once more, I pull up my text messages, seeing I have one from … Sebastian. With my heart pounding in my chest, I open it. My eyes devour what he wrote in seconds, as my breath completely leaves me.
Jerking my gaze back towards him, he’s still there, as if he was waiting for me to read his message. Seeing him standing there now, everything I thought I knew changes. I know Ava said he’s complicated and has issues, and now, I realize it most likely runs deeper than that.
There is something about him that needs more time, and even if I might end up regretting it, I nod my head, giving him his answer. Even from where I’m sitting, I see his relief that I’m giving him what he needs.
Our gazes hold for a few more moments, before he slowly walks away, leaving me to wonder if I can do what he wants. Looking back down at my phone, I read his message again, hoping I can do what he’s asking. It’s funny how Ava’s translation matches exactly to his, minus the request.
S: Podozhdi menya translates to wait for me. Can you do that, Trixie? Can you wait for me?
One month later …
Standing off to the side, I smile and then laugh, as Ava and Viktor smash wedding cake onto each other. They look so blissfully happy, as they should. Today, they became one legally, and it was amazing to be able to watch them. Even little Gabbie is smiling widely, as she continues swinging around her flower basket. Glancing over to Ella, she holds onto Nikolai tightly, as he wiggles around, wanting to be put down.
And then, of course, my gaze lands on the man I’ve been staring at most of the day.
Sebastian watches along with all the other guests, but his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes, like everyone else’s. The longer I watch him, the more I realize he’s holding something back. I’m unsure of what it is, but it’s clear he needs something to make him truly smile. I’ve seen a genuine grin from him on occasion, but it’s only with Gabbie or Nikolai. Everyone else just gets what I call the ‘fake’ smile, like now.
“Viktor! You promised that you wouldn’t smash cake on my face,” Ava says, and everyone laughs.
“I’m sorry, moya lyubov'.” He leans in close, but everyone hears him, as he asks, “Forgive me?”
Knowing Ava will forgive him, I turn, taking the empty dishes to the kitchen. As I’m placing the cups in the sink, I glance back again towards Sebastian. He’s chatting with Weston and Kendra, and I wonder what they’re talking about.
“You know, you could just walk over and talk to him.”
Smiling, as I face Ella, I claim, “It’s not that simple.”
“Why ever not? It’s clear you have a thing for him, as he does for you. Neither one of you can keep your eyes off one another.”
This is why I love Ava’s mom. She’s so down to earth, and instead of judging me, she’s giving me advice. I’ve grown close to Ella, since the wedding planning started, and I wish she would give my own mother some motherly lessons. She could learn a lot from Ella.
“I wish I could, but I don’t know. I don’t have anything to say.” That is the truth for once. I’ve done what he’s asked. I’ve waited, and I’ll continue to wait for him to do whatever he’s
