“Oh, baby.” She croons and drags her chair around the table so we’re sitting side by side.
I don’t cry. I did not think it was possible, but I’ve officially used up my tear ducts. I’ve sobbed myself dry. But I still hurt. I hurt so, so bad. I rest my head on Mom’s shoulder, and focus on nothing but breathing for several long moments.
“My Iris. You’ve been through too much. You don’t deserve this.”
“I just don’t want to be lonely anymore,” I whisper. Especially now that I know that someone exists out there for me, someone who makes me happy, someone who believes in me, someone who showed me what love was for the very first time.
Jude…
“Honey, I can promise you I’m not lonely.” She gives me a wayward smile and I really don’t want to know the details behind it. Mom makes it no secret that she has a long list of ‘gentlemen’ eager to keep her company. “Still, I don’t want my life for you. If Jude is the man you say he is, then the two of you will find your way back to each other. If not, someone special will come into your world when the time is right, and you’ll just know.”
I don’t tell her my special person already came. And left.
“Don’t make that face, Iris.” Mom holds my cheeks in her warm hands. I can see the tears brimming in her own eyes. “We’re not out of the game yet, baby. Happily ever after is still an option for us. For you. For me. For all the lonely women out there looking for love. Our own story is written, and we just have to jump into the pages when the time is right. I have to believe that.”
My whole heart shakes. The floodgates break open.
I was wrong. I haven’t run out of tears.
49
Jude
The crash of someone busting my bedroom door open jolts me awake. It takes a second to orient myself in the dark room but then I make out Cannon at the window, tearing the heavy drapes open.
“Ugh! What are you doing, asshole?” Sunlight beats its way through the glass. I cloak a forearm across my eyes to protect myself against the assault.
“Wake the hell up, Jude!” My brother says as he drags the curtain along its tracks. “You need a shower. It smells like shit in here.” He turns to face me and instantly looks away. “Cover up your junk, would you?” He grabs the comforter off the floor and blindly flings it in my direction. “And if you knew all the shit that’s gone down in this bed, you definitely wouldn’t have your bare ass all up on those linens.”
The bastard has the nerve to smirk.
I don’t have the energy to care.
“What time is it?” I groan and glance around the room.
I have to admit that the place is a pig sty. Sheets, a tangled mess. Dirty underwear and burrito wrappers on the floor. Unidentified sticky shit on the bedside table. Cookie crumbs sticking to my left butt cheek.
I got lost on some dark corner of the internet last night, yelling at idiots through my computer screen. Strangers were dragging Iris through the mud. Commenting on the video of my career-ending bar fight. Calling her names. Saying she cheated on her husband with me. Telling all kinds of lies. I couldn’t just sit there and let them paint the portrait of a monster.
Iris Merlini is an angel. The kindest, sweetest, most caring person I’ve ever met. She stood by my side when everyone else thought I was a delusional piece of work. She had my back when it made no logical sense to believe in me. And that’s the picture I want the world to see. I spent the night breathing fire on online sports forums, telling shitheads just that.
Well now, my eyes hurt. My brain is throbbing. I’m angry and my heart is fucking sore. That’s on top of the incessant agony in my leg.
Jesus, I need some ice for my knee.
“Is he decent?” Lexi calls from right outside the door.
I groan and adjust the sheets over my crotch.
Cannon calls back. “He’s not decent. He’s a hot mess. But at least he’s covered up the family jewels.”
Wearing a guarded look, Lexi pokes her head into the room. “Hey.” She tiptoes in cautiously.
I clear my throat. “Hey.”
“I figured you might need this to take your pain meds?” She hands me a glass of water before taking a seat at the foot of the mattress.
My fingers wrap around the glass. “Yeah.” She sits patiently as I ease onto an elbow to pop my pills then collapse back into the bed.
There’s a challenge in Alexia’s eyes when they swing to me. “So, I’m gonna cut to the chase here. What are you gonna do about Iris?”
I jerk a brow up. Cannon’s wife can be painfully blunt when she needs to be.
“I can’t deal with my feelings for Iris right now.” I stubbornly fold my arms over my chest.
“Oh, it’s like that?” She jerks a brow up to match mine. Cannon stands silently just past her shoulder, expression threatening like a constipated bodyguard.
I sink deeper into the bedding. “Yeah, Lexi. It’s like that.”
She glares at me for a second then pulls out her phone. She taps around a bit. She clears her throat. “List of reasons why Iris Merlini is the best damn human being. Number one—She’s fucking
