It’s been days since I’ve seen him, heard his voice. I’m going insane. My pride will no longer allow me to ask Lexi for updates about his condition. I’ve stopped trying to call him. Two days ago, I sucked in a breath, charged into his empty room and packed up all his shit. I momentarily considered tossing it all onto my grill and setting it ablaze. I called Cannon over to come pick it up instead.
Because as much as Jude’s rejection hurt me, I still love him. I still want him. I still spend every night facedown in his bed, clenching his pillow and huffing his scent as I cry.
I never got this low over Kirk. But for Jude, I’m scraping the bottom with no hope of recovery in sight.
By the time Cannon is pulling up outside of one of the greenhouses, my intuition is squalling for me to retreat. But my self-protection must be on holiday right now. Because when Cannon parks and rounds the car to help Lexi ease onto the bumpy path, I hold my tongue and follow after them.
Walker and his workers move briskly across the lawn, transporting small pots of flowers and other supplies from the bed of a pickup truck into the greenhouse.
I notice the look he and Cannon share before the farmer instructs his workers to take their afternoon break.
“Iris, there’s some details I need to iron out with Cannon and Alexia,” Walker tells me. “But you can head inside and have a look at the new selection of flowers.”
With nothing further, my friends head off toward Walker’s truck.
My stomach is a tight ball as I step into the greenhouse but the fresh, sweet scent of flowers immediately puts me at ease.
I wade through a sea of orange sun star flowers before turning down a path of vibrant red begonias. Lush ferns hang from plastic planters overhead. My heart feels a thousand pounds lighter just standing here.
My friends undersold this place. “Oh my god, it’s so beautiful,” I say as I look out at the dozens of varieties of plants surrounding me.
I hear the steady thud of a heavy body moving toward me. I turn around and find Jude standing at the end of the lane. Crutches, boyish grin, wearing a sexy-as-hell suit.
Blood zings through the power lines beneath my skin and my lifeless heart comes back alive with an anxious jolt.
Jude’s grin goes wider. “Not nearly as beautiful as you, Petal…”
51
Jude
Sunlight pours in through the greenhouse’s glass panes overhead. It spotlights Iris standing between fields of flowers in all her angelic glory.
When she sees me, her diamond blue eyes go wide. “Jude…”
“Hello, Petal.” With the aid of my crutches, I approach her gingerly, my heart beating fast enough that I might just lose my balance and fall flat on the ground.
She takes a quick, nervous glance over her shoulder toward the door. “What’s going on here?”
“This is my apology to you, Iris. You deserve an apology. I fucked up. Royally. And I am so, so sorry, Baby.” I abandon one crutch against a table and reach for her.
She moves a brisk step back, her expression guarded and hurt. “You haven’t answered my calls. I was so worried.”
“I know…” I brush her jaw with my thumb. “I’m sorry.”
“All I’ve wanted was to hear from you, Jude. It’s all I could think about. Wondering if you were okay. Wondering how I could help you, make you better.”
My head drops. “When the doctor told me that my knee was injured again, that my career was over, I was confused. And angry. Scared. Everything.”
“I know you were,” she spits out. “I know you were.” Her angry tears are already gathering like clouds before a rainstorm.
Shit, of course she knew. The woman knows me better than anyone. How could I let myself forget that?
“I wanted to be there for you, Jude.” She lightly slaps her tiny palm into the center of my chest. “The way you’ve been there for me. But you just shut me out. You walked away. You blamed me.” Her eyes are fiery. So is her voice.
And I know she’s coming hard at me now, but I’m proud of her for fighting back. I’m proud of her for sticking up for herself and not letting me get away with the shit I pulled. Because the old Iris—the shy Iris—wouldn’t have stood here to have this conversation. She would have run away and buried her hurt instead of showing it to me. But the new Iris is here, fighting with me. I can only hope she’ll fight for me, too.
I put my hand over hers, clenching her fingers to my chest. “My only excuse is I wasn’t seeing things clearly. I wasn’t thinking straight. After months of hard work and therapy, my dream was within reach…and then it was gone again. That’s all I could think about. To the exclusion of everything else.”
She drops her forehead to my chest and clenches my shirt with her fingers. Her tears bleed into the fabric. I hold her close, feel her, stroke her shaking back for a long moment.
“How have you been, Jude? Are you in pain? Have you been taking care of yourself? Have the meds been helping?” She looks up at me, her eyes full of concern as she rambles anxious questions. “I just can’t believe this happened. Can’t believe that monster did that to you. I just…”
“It’s been hell, Baby.” There’s no point in lying. “The past two weeks have been hell. I’ve been in pain, so confused, so angry, but the worst part was missing you.”
Her eyebrows dip as she stares at me. “You’ve missed me?” Her voice is hoarse.
“I’ve missed you like crazy, Iris.” These are words I’ve never said to any woman before. “Why does that surprise you? Don’t you know how I feel about you?”
She drops her head and shakes it. “Let’s just be honest with ourselves, Jude. Your career is over. Done. And it’s all my
