Cannon clears his throat uncomfortably.
Lexi looks at me with a hiked eyebrow. “I’m gonna just skip over a few of these here in the middle. To preserve what’s left of your dignity.” Her eyes drop back to the screen. “So, in conclusion, these are just a few of the reasons I’m in love with Iris Merlini. She’s a queen. And all you people who are judging her can go suck each other’s dicks.”
Shit, I wrote that? On the internet? How fried was my brain last night?
“Those assholes were slamming her,” I say in my own defence. “They were telling lies about her. She doesn’t deserve that. I had to step in with the truth.”
“Well, how about you go say those things to her in person? Because she’s hurting. She probably thinks you agree with all those nasty opinions that are going around.” Lexi puts a hand on my shoulder. “I love you, Jude. You’re the annoying younger brother I never wanted yet somehow got stuck with.” That causes me to chuckle. “And Iris? Me and Iris have never gone halfsies on a penis but she is my sister-wife in every way that counts. And if you don’t get off your sorry ass and go fix this mess—”
“What, Alexia? What?” I say defensively as I emotionally brace myself for the threat.
My sister-in-law heaves a sigh. “If you don’t go fix this mess, you will be as miserable as you are now, every day for the rest of your god-forsaken life. Because Iris Merlini is one of a kind. And you know that.”
She’s right. I’ve been through enough average women to know a goddess when I see one and Iris is otherworldly.
Cannon narrows his eyes at me. “You. Love. Her. Jude.” Each word is like a well-deserved slap to the back of the skull. “Kirk is the villain here. Iris is as much his victim as you are. So get your head out of your ass and go claim her. Before you lose her for good.”
Fuck. Fuck, they’re right.
I’ve been so angry at the situation, that I never stopped and asked myself the most crucial question; if I had to do it all over again, would I?
If I saw Iris in danger and I knew that inevitably, the outcome of protecting her would be the end of my football career, would I charge in there with the fire of a thousand motherfucking suns to defend her?
The answer is yes.
Always, yes.
I’d lay down my whole, entire life to protect her.
…I love her.
I’ve been trying to avoid this truth. But I can’t avoid it anymore. Now that my career is officially done, I realize that if I had to choose between Iris and my ability to play ball, I’d choose Iris any day. And that scares me. Because football has always been my life. So if this woman has taken the top spot, it means that I have feelings for her. Huge feelings. Priority-shifting feelings.
The inconvenient truth is finally starting to sink in. My epiphany must be showing on my face because now Lexi is smiling softly instead of that menacing scowl that was in her expression just a few minutes ago. “Take some time to think about it. But not too long. And if you need anything, just shout.”
Cannon takes his wife by the shoulders and turns for the door. “Clean yourself up. Don’t make me come back in here,” he calls over his shoulder. “‘Cause I’ll be coming in with Walker and his power hose and it won’t be pretty.”
50
Iris
I’m still not sure I’m in the right headspace to be making business decisions but when Cannon and Lexi called to reschedule our meeting, I knew I couldn’t turn them down again.
My heart is broken and bleeding out into my chest…Big fucking deal. Life goes on, right?
Today, I put on a satin blouse and slacks under my heavy fall coat. It seemed important to make an effort at looking professional. I want my friends to know I take this opportunity seriously.
We met at Cannon’s office like the first time but halfway through the meeting, we started discussing suppliers. That’s when Lexi suggested that we drive over to Walker’s farm. From what my friend says, the oldest Kingston brother has expanded his floral offerings since the last time I visited his farm. Now, in addition to the orchids he was growing a few weeks ago, he’s also moved on to roses and lavender among other things.
“It’s true that the current owners of the flower shop have their own suppliers,” Cannon says as he turns off Park Bridge Road onto his family’s property, “but if I can manage to wrangle a better deal out of my brother, then that would be hugely beneficial to your bottom line, Iris.”
He and Lexi chat excitedly about what a deal like that would mean for my potential business. I listen distractedly from the backseat as Cannon pilots the car past his parents’ guesthouse. The closer we get to the farm, the more I can feel my body curling in on itself. I’m racked by anxiety that we’ll run into members of Jude’s family…or Jude himself.
My intuition is telling me to retreat, to run away. My subconscious says that, lurking on the horizon, there’s something big enough to
