‘Is everything all right, Emily?’ Sadie takes a sip of her champagne, still looking as immaculate as she did when she picked me up. Her black bob is still sleek and her make-up perfect, whereas when I went to the Ladies I had to smooth down my curls and lick my finger to get rid of the slight smudge of mascara that was under my eyes. ‘You seem a little… I don’t know – subdued, maybe? Not your usual bubbly self.’
I take a deep breath and fork a mouthful of salad into my mouth to buy myself a few seconds before I respond. Do I really want to confide in Sadie? She has been a lot nicer to me recently than she was at first, but I am still aware that she has been friends with Rupert for a long time. ‘Yes, of course. I’m fine.’ But as I speak my eyes fill with tears and a wave of tiredness washes over me.
‘Oh?’ Sadie raises an eyebrow, before she reaches over and scoops up my hand, holding it tightly. ‘Your face rather says otherwise. Darling, you can tell me. I’m always here if you need to talk. Caro and I always used to talk about things, get them off our chests. What seems to be the matter?’
‘I think I’m just being silly,’ I say, blinking rapidly. ‘Things have happened since the wedding that feel a little… off. I don’t know, I think maybe I’m going mad.’ I force out a breath that could be taken for a huff of laughter.
‘Try me,’ Sadie says, pushing her plate to one side. ‘And you never know, it might help to get things off your chest.’
‘I keep feeling as though someone has been in the house,’ I say bluntly, the words tumbling out in a rush. ‘I first felt it when we came home from honeymoon, but Rupert just put it down to Amanda taking care of the house. Of course, it felt as though someone had been in there.’ I carry on, seeing Caro’s face smiling out from her wedding photo in pride of place on the mantelpiece.
‘Perhaps the cleaner put it out? She might not have realized what she was doing.’
‘Really?’ I look at her incredulously. ‘No, it wasn’t Anya. And it definitely felt as though someone had been in the house that day. I was showering and I just got that feeling that I wasn’t alone.’ I wait a moment, before deciding to tell Sadie everything. I might as well, now she knows this much. ‘And there have been calls.’
‘What do you mean, calls?’ Sadie asks.
‘Dropped calls, calls where nobody speaks, just breaths down the line. It never happens when Rupert is there, only when I’m on my own, and always late at night. I’m so on edge, I jump out of my skin every time the telephone rings. And then there are the text messages.’
‘Text messages?’
I reel off the messages, knotting my fingers together as I picture the photograph of me, my sash loose around my body as I rush fearfully down a deserted street in Bristol.
‘Oh my God, Em. Have you told Rupert about it?’
‘I tried,’ I sigh, fiddling with my wedding ring, aware that it is looser on my finger than it was three months ago. ‘I told him how I felt and he just kind of… brushed it aside. Said I was imagining things. He said he’d been through it all before with Caro.’
‘Oh. I see.’ Sadie waves over the waiter and orders another two glasses of champagne. ‘Listen, I can sort of see his point. Caro was… He had some difficult times with Caro, and it’s probably hard for him to deal with it. Maybe you shouldn’t tell him about it, not unless you have proof that you can show him. Do you still have the text messages?’
‘No, I deleted them. I should have kept them, shouldn’t I? I feel like such an idiot, but honestly, Sadie, it made me feel ill just to know that they were on my phone.’
‘Look, without actual proof it’s going to be hard to make Rupert listen. I’m not dismissing it, Emily, you know I would never do that, but I think perhaps you are reading a little too much into things, when there are perfectly reasonable explanations. The calls could just be a wrong number… the photo could have been put up by the cleaner—’ she holds up a hand before I can speak, ‘no, I know you disagree, but you haven’t actually asked her, have you? How are you sleeping?’
‘I’m barely sleeping at all at the moment, and not just because I’m worried about things.’ I swat at my cheeks, at the tear that runs slowly down my face. ‘It’s just so hard, Sadie. The whole marriage thing. I don’t mean to sound cruel, but it’s difficult for us to make a life together when Caro is everywhere. I feel like I’m constantly battling her ghost.’
‘But Rupert doesn’t talk about her that much, does he?’ Sadie leans in close, her perfectly groomed eyebrows meeting in concern.
‘It’s not that. She’s just left reminders everywhere. Like, on our honeymoon, I know he’d been to the island before, but I’m sure he’d been to the restaurant we ate at, too, presumably with Caro. Just from a few little things that he let slip… the maître d’ seemed to know him, and he commented that the menu was amazing before we’d even seen it.’
‘He could have googled it, to be fair.’
‘He could, but I just got the feeling that he was familiar with the place. I waited and waited for him to say something and he didn’t. And he’s just a bit distant sometimes, I suppose, compared to when we were first dating.’
Sadie looks as though she’d like to say something before she smiles and moves on. ‘Look, marriage is difficult. It wasn’t all plain sailing for Rupert and Caro either,
