‘No?’ I raise my tear-stained face to meet Sadie’s eyes.
‘No, of course not. They argued like any other couple.’
‘About what?’
‘Well, that isn’t for me to say,’ Sadie says primly, and I feel like a klutz, putting my foot in it. Of course, Sadie isn’t going to tell me things that Caro told her in confidence. ‘All I will say is that life is never perfect, Emily. Now, come on, let’s go and fix that make-up.’
I let Sadie lead me into the Ladies, where she disappears into a cubicle and I delve into my handbag to pull out a lipstick. Only, when I slide off the lid, instead of the almost nude pink I’m expecting to see, it’s Caro’s distinctive orangey-red and the blood in my veins turns to ice.
The night sky is clear and dotted with stars as we drive along the lane that leads to the house, the glow of the single streetlamp across the street making things feel sinister rather than comforting, and I find myself anxiously scanning the darkened windows for signs of movement as we pull up. Sadie marches inside and goes straight to the fridge to open a bottle of wine, as if she owns the place, leaving me to slide reluctantly out of the warm, luxurious car, smiling at the driver, before I walk across the gravelled drive to the front door. My steps are heavy, my feet reluctant to move towards the house. There is a tiny tug of fear as I step inside, a knot of worry that picks at my insides as I wonder whether I’m walking into yet another surprise – another photo of Caro, the faint scent of her perfume staining the air in my bedroom. Stepping into the kitchen where Sadie is pouring two huge glasses of Sancerre, I let out a long breath in relief at everything seemingly undisturbed.
‘Here. You look like you could do with this.’ Sadie hands me a glass and I take a healthy swig. ‘It’s not just the shopping that’s got you looking so washed out, is it? You really are worried about things?’
‘Yeah,’ I admit, nodding slowly, ‘yes, I am worried. A bit. But maybe it just feels worse because I’m tired.’
I do feel better after talking to Sadie today, and standing in the kitchen, the bright lights overhead adding to the warmth of the centrally heated room, I think that maybe I have let things become bigger in my own mind than they really are.
‘Darling, perhaps you should consider calling the police,’ Sadie says, but she is frowning as if even though she has suggested it, she doesn’t really think it’s a good idea.
‘Do you think?’
‘Well… you could, if you were really worried. But in all honesty, darling, I don’t think they’ll do very much.’ Sadie gives a shrug. ‘When Will and Amanda had all those problems with the gypsies that moved in at the bottom of their garden, the police didn’t want anything to do with it.’
I don’t know anything about that, but I do know that Will and Amanda’s house backs onto a country park, so I’m pretty sure Sadie is exaggerating things when she says ‘back garden’.
‘And anyway,’ Sadie goes on, ‘you two are rock solid – it doesn’t matter what anyone says or does – you two are happy, even if you are feeling a bit strained at the moment.’
‘Hmmm.’ I sip at my wine, pretty sure that Sadie only hears what she wants to hear.
‘You are happy, aren’t you? Leaving Caro out of it for a moment – the two of you are OK?’ Frowning, Sadie lays a hand on mine, her fake-tanned skin a warm orange against the pale white of my fingers, my honeymoon tan long gone.
‘Yes,’ I stare down at our hands, feeling a little disloyal to Rupert, ‘but like I said earlier at lunch… things are a little harder than I thought they would be. Rupert isn’t quite like I thought.’
‘Oh?’ Sadie raises an eyebrow and I feel a flutter of panic, remembering that Sadie has been Rupert’s friend for a lot longer than she’s been mine.
‘I don’t mean that in a horrid way!’ I backtrack. ‘I just mean things like… well, he ordered my meal for me the last time we went out, and he ordered veal. I hate veal, and I tried to tell him, but he just ignored me and ordered it anyway. And he always asks me every morning what I’m doing that day. It’s not a problem, but it just feels a little controlling.’ I fiddle with my glass, feeling heat creep into my cheeks. ‘He has more of a temper than I realized.’
Sadie reaches for the wine bottle and tops her glass up. ‘Do you know what I think?’ she says in the end. ‘I think perhaps you’re a little sensitive to things like that after what happened with Harry. Rupert isn’t trying to control you; he’s trying to look after you.’
‘He’s the reason why Angus Beaton didn’t want me volunteering at the charity,’ I blurt out, a twist of hurt digging in my chest.
‘Rupert is?’ Sadie frowns.
‘He basically told Angus he didn’t want me there because of Caro. I wished I’d known before that Caro had worked there.’
Sadie blushes, a pink bloom bursting over her cheeks. ‘If I’d known you were going to apply there, then of course I would have told you. Like I said, Emily, I don’t think he’s trying to control you, he just wants what is best for you. For both of you.’
‘I’m sure you’re probably right,’ I say with a sigh, ‘I’m just being an ungrateful brat, aren’t I? God, I bet Caro was never like this.’
Sadie doesn’t reply, instead checking her watch and pushing her chair back. ‘I’ll just nip to the loo before I get off. And yes,’ Sadie grins, ‘you’re being an ungrateful brat.’
I sit in silence as I wait for Sadie to come back from the bathroom, our conversation buzzing around in my head. Sadie
