“It must be hard for her being a single mom and working full-time. I know a lot of women do it, but I often wonder how they keep it all together.”
“My sister is an organizational freak. I think that helps a lot. On Sunday night, she actually has all of her clothes planned right down to her jewelry and laid out for the entire week.”
I choked on the sip of wine I had just taken, envisioning what most mornings were like for me with clothes strewn over my cedar chest, on my bed, and on the floor as I tried to find the perfect outfit to wear.
He held his hand up and continued. “And if that’s not bad enough, she has them on color coded hangers. A different color for each day of the week.”
We both busted out laughing. Not that it was a bad idea by any means, but I sensed that Theo was the complete opposite of his sister and just as disorganized as me when it came to that sort of stuff. “Wow! I only wish I could be like that. Sometimes I wish I could win the lottery just so I could hire a personal assistant to organize my life.”
“So, I take it your closet isn’t as structured as my sister’s.”
“Not by any means.” I shook my head.
“That’s a good thing.” We both chuckled again.
“So is Thomas with his father while Kate is here?”
Theo’s smile faded. “That knobhead…no.”
There was that word again.
“I’m not even really sure if he knows Thomas exists, and if he does, he certainly doesn’t care.”
“That’s awful! If I were Kate, I would make sure he was providing for him financially even if he didn’t want to acknowledge his existence.”
He shrugged and lifted his mug to his lips, taking a gulp. “He was someone my sister was enamored with for the longest time. I could always see right through him, but Kate…she didn’t want to see what I saw. They met at university. He was always around when there was nothing better to do or if someone who he deemed more important to hang out with wasn’t available. He was never there for my sister when she needed him most. I was so happy when he moved to Scotland. I was hoping that was a chapter of her life that had been closed. Then when she became pregnant, I found out he had been back for a visit and well, I suppose I don’t have to tell you how the rest of the story went. Kate claims that when she called him to let him know she was going to have a baby, she stopped herself when he told her he hoped she understood that what had happened while he was visiting was a mistake, and that he was engaged. He’s currently back in Scotland and newly married.”
“Wow! He’s not a knobhead…he’s a dickhead!”
“Yes, I guess as you Americans would say…he’s an absolute dickhead.”
I was happy to see the corners of his mouth turn up into a smile once again, and for the first time, I noticed the deep dimple, not in the usual spot one would find a dimple but in his upper right cheek, closer to his nose. Like his eye, it was another peculiarity that I found added to the endearing charm he possessed.
“Oh, I guess I got a little off topic there. So, to answer your question before I gave you my sister’s whole biography, our cousin is taking care of Thomas. Kate wanted to do this trip so badly, and…” His eyes clouded over, and I watched as he swallowed hard. Something was upsetting him.
I knew that feeling all too well, battling in unison with the lump in your throat and the burning in your eyes. Hoping the dam wouldn’t break and expose how badly your heart was breaking inside. It was like a fragile mirror into your soul, one that you tried desperately to prevent others from looking into. One that could be shattered into a million pieces at any time, taking everything that was seen on the other side along with it by exposing every last bit of your emotions. I looked down at the table, giving him time to compose himself, hoping he’d understand I didn’t have any intention of trying to seek out and understand the pain that his eyes so blatantly reflected. It was in that moment that I realized, like me, Theo had a story inside of him. One that he wanted to keep tucked away because it was too painful to let out. The same way I had sensed it with his sister the night prior. Maybe all of us carried around some secret tale we weren’t willing to bare to each other. I liked to believe that. Not that I wanted other people to hurt like I was, but it helped to know that people were still going on with their life and making the most of it. I liked the idea of knowing that it was possible, and maybe one day the guilt and sadness I was feeling might eventually fade into the background.
“So, Jillian, what’s your story?” Theo pulled it together, snapping right out of it, and headed into a direction I didn’t want to go.
“My story?” Now it was me who was in an intense battle with my emotions. “Well, I work for an ad agency in Manhattan.”
“And what does that entail?” he asked with intense interest.
“Pitching new ideas and a lot of brainstorming, trying to get the team to realize current and potential clients’ visions. It’s a lot of keeping up with trends and marketing strategies.” I was perfectly fine talking about my job responsibilities. As long as we stayed on this line of questioning, I could talk forever.
“Do you have any children?” And there it was. One of the questions I had
