It was so refreshing to see how these European countries embraced the Christmas season instead of the normal rat race at home to get “everything done,” making Christmas seem more like a chore than celebration. The children walking together with lanterns to light their way, singing Christmas carols while their parents followed close behind was something you didn’t see back at home. It was as if I had stepped back in time, back when Christmas was cherished and celebrated the whole season long and not just a day.
Theo returned to the hotel after only about a half hour of walking around. He was totally zoned out, checking his phone every few minutes. DeAndre and I carried on, spending a good portion of the night in the Swarovski crystal store that was bigger than any I’d ever seen at home. I treated myself to a pair of earrings I had fallen in love with and had to drag myself out of there to keep from doing any more damage. We finished off the night with some warm apple strudel and a cup of coffee.
“I think I’ve died and gone to heaven!” DeAndre said, chewing slowly and savoring every bite.
“Yes, I could certainly see why Austria is so famous for their strudel. This is delicious!” I agreed.
DeAndre pulled out his phone, shook his head, and whispered, “Whatever,” at the text that had just come in before putting it back in his pocket.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
“Not really, but is it ever?”
I shrugged.
“Besides, we’re on vacation. I’m sure the last thing you feel like is listening to my problems.”
“Actually.” I lifted my coffee cup to my lips. “I’m a much better listener than I am at expressing my own feelings. So, if you need to vent, feel free.”
“Girl, we may be here all night.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
It took a few seconds for DeAndre to feel at ease in sharing with me, but when he did, he didn’t hold back. He was supposed to be on this trip with his partner, Louis, but he had to back out at the last minute because his father had been put in hospice care. Louis’ father was a pastor at a Southern Baptist church, who didn’t want to accept that his son was gay. He was always under the guise that he could be “swayed” to be attracted to the opposite sex. In turn, he never accepted DeAndre and refused to even meet him. His mother was a bit more understanding to her son’s choice in life, but she allowed her husband to rule with an iron fist. Louis had cut ties with his family over it, something that DeAndre always felt guilty over.
“So now that he’s on his deathbed he wants to make amends with me. Louis wants me to head down to South Carolina, so his father can die with a clear conscience.” He shook his head. “I don’t think I can do it. You have no idea how awful that man has been and the nasty things he’s said in the three years I’ve been with his son. Calling me horrible names not only for my sexual orientation, but also for the color of my skin.” His animated persona had completely vanished. He was allowing me to see a different side of him, the defeated and vulnerable one. I instinctively reached over the table and offered him my hand. He took it and squeezed it gently.
“I don’t know what to say. That’s a really tough call. There’s no doubt he’s a nasty person, but there’s also no doubt that you’re a very good person.” He grabbed the napkin sitting on the table and quickly dabbed his eye. “It sounds to me like your Louis is nothing at all like his father. He walked away from his family for you because he loves you.”
“Yes, but now I feel like he’s using that to get me to do something I don’t feel comfortable doing. Why should I do anything for that man to help him clear his conscience and be his last-ditch effort to get into heaven after how nasty he’s been, and Louis should see where I’m coming from with this.”
I took a deep breath and stared at him thoughtfully. “Well, maybe Louis wants you to do this for him and not his dad.”
His brow furrowed. “What? That doesn’t make any sense.”
“Maybe he wants to prove to his father that he didn’t break you guys. That he can go to his grave being a hateful, ignorant man, but the two of you will go on living and loving one another.” DeAndre was silent, as if he was deciphering my words. “I don’t know Louis, but from what you’ve told me, it sounds like he loves you very much. Embrace that and don’t ever let it go. Sometimes we don’t realize how much we have or how much someone means to us until it’s too late. Nothing else should matter except your feelings for each other. So, if I were you, I would head on down to South Carolina the minute you get back, show your face proudly, and let him know that you’re in love with his son, and you’re not going anywhere.”
DeAndre inhaled deeply, then closed his eyes briefly. When he opened them back up again the doubt that was there just a few moments ago was replaced with a newfound sense of empowerment. “Guess
