This year…this year was going to end with a bang. Dean was going to get his. I just had to play my cards right. No more fights, unfortunately.
That…that was going to be a tough one.
Chapter Three – Kelsey
Dad didn’t say much during the drive back to Hillcrest. I sat with my head off to the side, staring out of the window, watching the scenery roll by. I had to wear sunglasses, as the evening sun made everything just a bit too bright. Too happy. Too orange and yellow and just gross, honestly.
Ugh. Who even liked the colors yellow and orange? They were much too bright, too happy. Those colors were all the annoying things in life, but in color form.
My backpack sat on my lap, my arms wrapped around it. I hadn’t brought much home, just my Halloween outfit—which I’d finally changed out of before leaving the house to come back here. I hoped Ash was doing all right. I hoped she didn’t make a huge mistake like me by sleeping with whatever guy she went home with.
Clearly, it hadn’t been any one of her guys. It was with someone else. Ash didn’t deserve that. I hoped my spiraling didn’t affect her, but I knew it probably had. Just made me feel like an even worse friend, really.
It was great, I knew.
“So how’s Ash doing at Hillcrest?” My dad broke the silence of the car, tossing me a quick look as he made a right turn. “Is she keeping up with her classes? I hear private institutions have more rigorous academics—”
My dad, trying to act normal, trying to act like everything wasn’t changing. It was. He and Mom were getting divorced, and Ash and I probably weren’t even friends after what I did. I hated it. I hated it so much.
“Ash is fine,” I cut in, mumbling my answer without looking at him, hoping, praying he got the hint and would stop talking about her. I was trying not to wallow, not to cry, and my dad bringing my best friend up—who I’d so recently just fucked over—was not helping me one bit.
Honestly? I wished he would stop talking.
Even more honestly? I wished I could hit the rewind button and go back to when everything was simpler. I didn’t want to relive high school, but at this point, I so would.
Dad didn’t get the hint, but at least he stopped talking about Ash when he said, “You doing okay, kiddo?” His voice softened; I’d taken some Tylenol earlier, so my head didn’t hurt as much, but a low, steady throbbing remained. “I know a lot of things have been changing for you, and I hope you know that no matter what happens between your mom and me, I’ll always love you, Kelsey. I’ll always be here for you, ready to listen whenever you need me.”
I closed my eyes. “Could we not have a heart-to-heart right now?” I muttered, frowning to myself.
“You got it,” Dad said, but I could tell he was kind of hurt. Oh, well. I hurt everyone around me, what was one more to the pile? It clearly was not healthy to spend any extended periods of time with me.
When Dad pulled his car into the turnaround beside my dorm building, I said nothing as I got out. I did force myself to turn around and wave at him as he drove off, but that was it. No I love yous, no goodbyes. That was all he would get. It was more than my mom got, before we left. I didn’t even tell her we were going, though I was certain Dad did.
Once his car was out of my sight, far off down the road, I turned and angled my head up, staring at the tall building. This…this suddenly felt pointless after last weekend. Technically, Halloween was still coming up, so I was sure there would be multiple parties still going on that I could lose myself in, but…
No. I was done losing myself. I didn’t want to repeat Saturday night.
In the waning light, the building almost seemed ominous, and I didn’t want to go in, or go up. Seeing Mel again…she didn’t have to know that I fucked up so royally during my time away from SCC, and she wouldn’t. She didn’t need anything else on her plate. What would be the tough part was pretending like everything was okay, acting like I hadn’t made one of the worst mistakes of my life.
Did I ever regret hooking up with someone before? I didn’t think so. Maybe Levi, but I’d take Levi a thousand times over what I did last night: Ash’s crush, Sawyer.
I was a terrible friend.
Granted, it wasn’t like I knew. His pink hair was covered up in that cheap Halloween spray-on dye or something. If I would’ve seen pink hair, I would’ve slowed my roll right up. I helped Ash come up with that little scheme, after all. If I would’ve known it was Sawyer, I would’ve pressed on the brakes and stopped myself from making a huge mistake. I mean, how the hell was I supposed to know Sawyer was also at a Stanton party? From what Ash told me, he liked to throw his own parties at his own damned house. I wasn’t psychic; I couldn’t predict where he’d be on that particular night.
Those were just excuses I made to myself though, to help me feel better.
I sighed, tossing the backpack around my shoulder as I
