I felt Carter take the phone. “Hello? Hey, little ninja. What’s up?”
A bunch of gibberish sounded on the other end of the line.
“Yeah. Yup. Yup. Back up the mountain. You’ve gotta love your naps, man. They make you big and strong.”
Another string of gibberish flowed through the air.
Wow. He was totally still trying with my family, and I just reamed him out for trying to help his brother-in-law through his grief. I mean, no, Carter shouldn’t be dishing all his money out to a user—and this Matty guy was totally a user—but Carter was right. I didn’t know his situation like I thought I did, and I wasn’t a counselor.
I mean, he’d just confessed how much of the blame he took for the accident. Megs was pregnant! It was basically the worst situation possible for him. And a year hadn’t even passed yet. I was pushing too hard. I probably just needed to give him room to grieve.
“For sure, bud. Next time I visit, okay?”
Gibberish.
“No. Ninjas sleep when their mamas tell ‘em to. Mm-hmm. Yup. Every time. All right, man. Bye.”
I couldn’t help but grin, turning back to Carter, taking every aspect of him in. He really was the whole package, and if I could dream any dream in the world, I might actually dare to dream of a future with him. I mean, he barely knew me, we just had a major fight, but he still had a whole conversation with my nephew, acting like talking to a four-year-old was no big deal.
He handed the phone back.
“Cute little nephew you have there, cowgirl.” Carter inhaled deeply through his nose. “Lauren, maybe we should talk—”
“I know. I’m so sorry, Carter! I shouldn’t have questioned you. It’s your life, your family. But, I’m glad you felt comfortable telling me about . . . everything. I think it makes us stronger, as a couple. Maybe Matty’s call was part of God’s plan for us. The whole mysterious ways thing you know.”
Carter stared out the window for a really long time.
“God’s definitely a mystery.” He opened the door. “I’m gonna run into the gas station for some water. Want anything?”
“More beef jerky, please.”
He gave me a half-smile and left, walking slowly with his shoulders stooped.
I studied the picture of Kel and the boys still frozen on my phone screen. Was it really possible to have what she did?
Twenty-Six
-LAUREN-
Another work week came and went, and the next Saturday, it took every ounce of determination, and every ounce of the cosmetics I owned, to get inside Carter’s truck again and head to his family’s place for the weekend. A weekend where I was supposed to meet his parents, his brothers and sister, and go to a memorial service for his perfect dead wife.
Then there was the whole meeting all her family part, too.
I suppressed my shudder. Carter had asked me to come for support and I wasn’t about to back down.
“So how was your week, Carter?” I asked, as he drove us carefully down the mountain. “I barely saw you.”
“Yeah, sorry. I was busy with Tucker, the boathouse, getting ready for the trip.”
He turned up the volume and the music bumped. He stared straight at the road, shades on. Message received. Conversation was out.
Why wasn’t he letting me in? It made no sense at all. Not when he was so open with me before. I wanted to peel Carter’s mask back myself, but this was obviously a big weekend for him.
Maybe he just needed some more space. I’d been giving him all I could through the whole week. But, I’d done the whole distance thing before, and I didn’t want to step back so far that we lost our connection completely.
We just had to find a balance. I could deal with silence for a while.
Three hours into the drive, my bladder revolted.
“Um. I need to stop soon,” I said, bouncing my legs and focusing on my breaths. Anything to keep my mind off of the pressure because it was intense. “Like, stat.”
Carter nodded, eyes still glued to the windshield. It was like he had no clue I was even there. He flipped his blinker on at the next off-ramp and pulled into a rest stop, parking his truck as I jumped out of the passenger seat.
Two minutes later, I went out to rejoin Carter, but he wasn’t in his truck. The surroundings were totally gorgeous with a river running behind the rest stop, and the snow capped mountain peeking in the distance beyond.
“Ready to roll?” Carter’s voice sounded from behind me.
He was staring at the ground, hands inside his pockets, face completely pale.
“Are you okay?” I touched his shoulder, but he tensed and stepped backward. Before, he would’ve relaxed. “What happened?”
“I’m fine. You ready?” His words were barely audible, but at least he was talking now.
“It’s so pretty here. We should take a selfie.”
I loved having proof of how amazing we were together because, duh—we were totally amazing together.
“I’ll be in the truck. Meet me there when you’re ready.”
“Wait. You don’t want a selfie with me?”
“I’ll be in the truck.”
What was his deal?
I was about to ask him, but then I saw the pain rolling through his eyes. “Carter, what’s wrong?”
He shrugged, glanced at me, trudged back to the truck.
Back in the Chevy, we made it down the road another hour before my bladder was making me squirm again. “Oh my gosh. I need to stop again.”
“Seriously? You just used the bathroom, didn’t you?”
“I’m supposed to stay hydrated on road trips. I guess it’s just going through me.”
“I’ll hit the next gas station.”
“Amazing.”
“Yup.”
Wow. We were down to one-liners now? This was getting bad. I mean, when was the last time he’d held my hand? Yesterday? Or was it two days ago?
When I came out of the gas station the second time, Carter was missing again. I found him at the edge of the parking lot, talking on
