Mom and Dad joined me and talked about Megan forever too. I couldn’t blame them. She was worth every second. But I felt like I was watching from another room. Like my heart had stopped beating, replaced by something false, and it could never be real again.
Mom and Riley had arranged for a huge picnic lunch after the Memorial and now my family, Megs’ mom and dad, and about sixty other people and their kids were sprawled out across a green hill at Megs’ favorite park. Without her. The sandwiches tasted like sand and the pies tasted like they came straight from an MRE in the desert. Matter of fact, I’d had plenty of meals from sealed pouches that tasted way better than this lunch.
“Just about ready to clean up, boy. Want more pie first?” Mom asked, a small grin curling at the corners of her mouth as she came by with a garbage bag. I tossed the rest of my lunch inside and dusted my hands on my pants.
A few kids screamed on the play structure at the base of the hill, driving it home even more. I’d never get the life with Megs we’d wanted. I stood and folded the blanket I’d been using.
“Did Matty show yet?”
“No. I don’t think he has.”
“Nice.”
Could this day be any worse?
After everyone cleaned up and hugged me goodbye, I headed to the parking lot, more than ready to get out of here.
A light green seventy-three Chevy pickup sped into the lot, tires screeching as it rounded the gated play structure.
My heart dropped.
Matty pulled his truck into the space beside Dad’s, and kept rolling, parking half-way in the grass beyond.
“You’re joking, right?” I muttered as the driver door groaned and Matty stepped out, teetering back and forth as he approached Dad, barely recognizable. His usually well-kept hair was overgrown and his face was full of stubble. I wanted to punch him.
“There’s kids out here,” Dad said.
Matty hiccuped and belched, tugging at the end of his button-down shirt, which was only half tucked in anyway.
“Did I miss the party?” He licked his lips, eyes bloodshot, reaching for the mirror on Dad’s truck, but he missed, and stumbled forward.
“Sure did.” Dad caught him and froze, brows furrowing. “Wait. I know you, don’t I?”
“Yes, s-sir. Megs’ brother, Matt.” He stuck a trembling hand out.
Dad shook his hand.
This couldn’t be real.
“Actually, I could use s-some help.” Matty hiccuped again. “You don’t happen to have any cash on you, do you?”
My gut twisted. He had to be joking.
Mom hustled over to Dad, gripping his arm. “Well, hello there, Matthew. It’s so good that you came.” Her face went from wonder to confusion. “Are you okay?”
“Just looking for some cash, ma’am. The wife’s not too happy with me lately. Could really use some help.”
Mom’s lips tightened into a straight line. Dad put a protective arm around her. “We don’t have any cash, son. Got a few sandwiches left over if you’re hungry though.”
That was it.
“Are you serious, Matty?” My voice boomed, and my blood rushed, and it felt like tactical training all over again, only this wasn’t the military, and I didn’t have a lieutenant hovering around. I grabbed him by his collar and shoved him back a few steps.
Dad’s voice floated past my ears, but I couldn’t hear him.
Matty’s cheeks puffed out as he gripped my arms, the smell of whisky and smoke hitting my senses at the same time. “You’re drunk.”
“Look, Carter. I-I’m so s-sad. I was t-tryin’ to get here, but then. Just. Couldn’t. Ended up in the casino.”
Fire filled my veins. “Don’t come at me with excuses. You’re a hundred percent drunk and you drove anyway!” I shook him twice, trying to keep myself in check, but, “how could you do this? Not just to her, but to me? And after all I’ve done for you!”
His bottom lip trembled and he sniveled like a little kid. “I need some h-help again, Carter. It’s the last time.”
“How is this even possible, Matty? Do you not know how broke I am because of you? You took everything I had, and for what? For this?”
I growled and set him down, crossing my arms to keep myself from beating him.
Every ounce of respect I’d ever had for him was gone. It didn’t matter that he was Megs’ brother. He was a fool, making me the bigger fool for bailing him out so many times.
He kept blubbering. Something about Claire and the kids. Good. I hoped they were somewhere safe. Away from him.
Man!
How blind was I?
He’s a user . . .
I’d defended his honor to Lauren, but she was more than right.
“Please, Carter. I’ll take anything.” He looked so pathetic, I couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for him, but I wasn’t about to give him another dime.
“Look. At this point, I don’t really want to help you, but you’re Megs’ brother, and I know she’d hate seeing you like this. I’m not giving you money. That’s over.”
“I thought you s-said you’d help me.”
I pulled my phone out of my back pocket. “I’m texting you my counselor’s number. He has a lot of resources. I’m sure he can help find you a rehab—”
“No way, man. I’m not g-going to rehab.”
“You need help, Matty. Look, I’ll go with you if you want—”
“I’m good. And I’m out.” He gave me a salute and stumbled toward his truck.
“What’re you doing?”
He pulled his keys out of his pocket and opened the driver door.
I rushed in behind him, Dad following on my tail.
“Give me the keys, Matty.”
“Don’t f-fight this. It’s who I am now.” He tried closing the door, but Dad stopped him. Matty moaned and shoved the key into the ignition.
“Not on my watch, man.” I pinned him to his seat with my elbow, pulled his keys from the ignition, and gave them to Dad. Matty lunged over my shoulder to try and swipe them, but I held him back.
“Matthew, get out of that truck
