“Hey,” Knox walks into the studio with his hands in his pocket, and his lips pressed into a straight line.
“How’d it go?”
I look up at him from beneath my lashes with an annoyed look. “I broke up with him, gave him an out. They printed Hadley’s name, his private history. It’s not fair to him or Penny to be put in the middle of that because of my career.”
“I learned the hard way that this career comes with many sacrifices. It’s why Harris and I created Bentley Records. We didn’t want our artists to go through some of the demands and corruption other record labels incorporate into their business. Unfortunately, though, the media is one thing we can’t control. As soon as you become a public figure, you make a choice to surrender most of your privacy.”
I nod as I listen to him speak. Although I’m aware of all of this, it’s still difficult to accept it when it happens. It’s one thing to understand a theory and another thing to live it.
“The good news is that soon, someone else will break-up or date a married celebrity, and you’ll be old news. It’s what happened to me. It was hard for a few months, but then they moved on. Everton doesn’t have much to keep them entertained with juicy media. Besides, fans want your music. Give them that, and they’ll forget the rest.”
I snort and wipe my cheeks. “I doubt they’ll forget the rest.”
Knox finally smiles. “They’ll always want to know what’s going on, but because they admire you and want to celebrate milestones with you.”
I nod. “Yeah.”
“There’s not one artist I’ve met that hasn’t suffered this at some point in their career. It’s always uncomfortable to be talked about and photographed, but with people’s short attention span nowadays, the media needs to move quickly, or they’ll lose their audience.”
“So, what do I do in the meantime? As soon as I start dating again, their interest will be piqued. Am I just supposed to allow them to share my private relationship and then drop it when they get bored?” I roll my eyes.
“You push through it. You try to stay as private as possible. You give them something new to talk about, like music or tour dates. You manipulate them by making them think they’re serving the juiciest news.”
“Well, it’s different when Gavin has a daughter, and they’re invading her privacy and stirring up the past. What if this causes Hadley to come back?”
“Does that worry you more for Gavin or for yourself?” Knox arches an eyebrow and stares at me.
“Both,” I admit. If Hadley returns and wants to be one big happy family again, I’m not too sure Gavin will turn her down. She’s the mother of his child and his first love.
“Maybe I’m also protecting myself,” I admit and look at Knox. I bite down on my lips, and my eyes water.
“That’s important, too, but your happiness is a priority. I’m proof you can have both your dream career and the person you love by your side. It’s not always easy, but you don’t have to be a celebrity for that. No relationship is always smooth. How hard you fight for it just depends on how badly you want it.”
I thank Knox with a small smile. I don’t feel much better after our talk, but it shows me that I’m not alone. I’m surrounded by people who understand what this situation is like. Even if the one person I want to hug right now is on the other side of town dealing with his own repercussions of being connected to me.
…
I get home and drop on the sofa, exhausted after such an emotional day. Knox and Ainsley invited me to stay and have dinner with them, but I was anxious to get home. Now that I’m here, staring at the four walls that surround me, I wish I would’ve taken them up on their offer.
My mind is racing with everything that happened today. I haven’t heard from Gavin again, but I did tell him we were over. It’s probably easier to go our separate ways now after only being together for a few weeks than to break up when we’re both head over heels, and Penny is more attached.
Although in Everton, I’m not sure how separate our paths will actually be. It won’t be easy running into him and Penny.
With a heavy sigh, I reach for my guitar next to the sofa and strum the chords. The sound vibrates around the living room and lands on my chest. Peace settles over me as I play random music. I close my eyes as my fingers move over the strings of my guitar.
“That’s not half bad,” I say to myself as I repeat the same beat.
Opening the notebook that’s sitting on the coffee table, I write down the chords and keep going. I hum along to the music, pausing every so often to write down the next sets of chords that follow. Before I know it, I have half a song created.
Starting from the beginning, I play my guitar as verses come to my mind. Nothing heals a broken heart like the strumming of a guitar and a cold beer. Resting my guitar against the couch, I grab an IPA from the fridge and pop the cap before taking a sip.
I come back to my seat and grab the notebook, closing my eyes and humming the music I created. The words hit me in waves, so I reach for the pen and scribble on the paper.
I’ve been searching
For someone like you
In the dark nights
And hollow of my heart
Say you’ll be mine,
Wild and free,
Our reckless
