Coming as one
Under the night sky
You confessed your secrets
In the back of your truck
As we stared at the stars
And counted the ways
In which hearts can break
Say you’ll be mine,
Wild and free,
Our reckless hearts
Coming as one
Under the night sky
You gave me your hand,
And I took it and ran,
Showing you not every heart
was meant to break
Say you’ll be mine,
Wild and free,
Our reckless hearts
Coming as one
Under the night sky
Let me show you
Not every heart
Is meant to break,
We’ll be wild and free
As we come as one
Under the night sky
I blow out a breath and stare at the words scrawled on the paper. Taking a healthy chug of beer, I swallow and grab my guitar, singing the words to the beat I created. As I sing on repeat, Gavin’s face clouds my mind’s eye. He’s given writing music a new meaning, and I have to question if I’ll be happy with him only being a memory printed on paper and recorded on discs. A muse I only had for a little while that will haunt me forever.
I close my eyes and tip my head against the back of the couch. Curling into my side, I turn on the television and mindlessly scroll through channels as the numbness starts to wear off and reality settles in my bones. Will my life always be like this? Wondering if I’ll ever be able to share my life with someone for fear that I’ll disrupt the person’s life with my career choice.
I stare at the flashing screen without seeing what’s on the television. It’s all a blur as I get pulled into my mind and anger boils inside of me. I did what I thought was best for Gavin and Penny, but I stole my happiness in making that decision.
Time passes by like molasses as I stare at nothingness. This career comes with sacrifices, and while I may be able to have a relationship like Knox said, I may have to surrender to the idea that Gavin would be that man. There are more fish in the sea, right?
Ugh!
Fish will always remind me of Gavin, too. I’m hopeless. This town may be too small for the two of us. Was moving here the best idea? More tears cloud my vision and trail down the side of my face, soaking the pillow I’m resting my head on.
Tomorrow will be a better day, I tell myself. The paparazzi will get bored and move on, just like Knox said. I have to believe this is true.
My phone pings with a notification, and I lift it to see that it’s a Google alert for my name. Ignoring the world of gossip for a few hours, I wipe my face and close my eyes.
Gavin
“So, you’re telling me you guys broke up because of this?” Abbie holds up my phone with the article I found on one of those cheesy websites.
I swallow thickly and nod. “Yes. Sutton told me she’d give me an out.”
“And you didn’t argue?” Abbie’s eyebrows jump up on her forehead.
Scrubbing a hand down my face, I shake my head. This week has been a mess. I’ve been short-tempered, even snapping at Penny with impatience. No amount of apologies were enough to ease the guilt for taking my frustration out on her.
No longer able to deal with it, I called Abbie this morning and told my uncle and dad that I needed to run an errand so I could talk to her. If there’s anyone I trust, it’s Abbie.
“I was caught off-guard. As soon as Sutton told me they had published Hadley’s name, I froze. Panic set in, worried that Hadley would return to take Penny away from me. I don’t know.” I sigh and take a drink of coffee.
“Hadley wouldn’t do that. She gave up her rights when she walked away and never looked back. You have full custody according to the law.” Abbie says, rationally.
“I don’t know what Hadley would do or not do because I don’t know her anymore. What I do know is that my responsibility is keeping Penny safe.” Chances are Hadley will not return. Abbie is right. She surrendered it all when we finalized our divorce, and she gave me full custody of Penny. It’s my overactive mind driving me into a corner where the worst-case scenario is possible.
Abbie speaks over me. “At the risk of your unhappiness?”
“What would you do?” I lift my eyebrows in question.
“I’m not a parent, so I don’t know what I’d do. We can all hypothesize how we’d react in certain situations, but until we’re actually in it, we won’t know our true actions.”
I take a few deep breaths, clearing my mind. Looking around Abbie and Finn’s house, I can see more of Abbie in the space. A photo of the two of them catches my eye, and I smile. If circumstances were different, I could have that kind of love.
“Do you love her?”
Abbie’s question catches me by surprise, and I snap my eyes back to her. “Come on, Abbie, I’ve only known her for a few weeks.” I scratch my cheek.
Abbie rolls her eyes. “Fine, I’ll humor you. Do you feel Sutton is a woman you could fall in love with?” She arches an eyebrow.
“Abbs… I don’t know.” I shake my head. The answer is yes, but the fear of what comes with giving someone your heart still seeps into my bones. “I’ve got more than me to think about.”
“Gavin, I love you. You’re like a brother to me, but you’re an idiot. Stop using Penny as an excuse to be happy. Penny is fine. Look how good she was when you told her about Sutton.”
“She’s not that great now, wondering why we haven’t seen her all week,” I shoot back.
“Because you haven’t been honest with her.” Abbie gives me a pointed look.
“She doesn’t need another woman leaving her
