While images of his naked body flood my mind, I’m waiting to see if he’s going to speak to me again or if this shopping experience will remain in awkward silence. I don’t know exactly what to expect, but right now I don’t have any say. Javier is my ride, so I guess I’d better buckle up and prepare for anything.
Chapter 10
Javier
Why did I stop and pick her up? The woman isn’t my responsibility, more like a fly that won’t stop following me around.
And yet I can’t get her out of my mind since she ran into me a few weeks ago.
All I’ve wanted to do since getting out of prison was forget the past and move forward, vowing to do better, be better, and make something of my life with this second chance I’ve been given.
But my brain is a jumbled mess as I try to balance my irritation with this woman and my attraction toward her.
Ten years ago I never would have contemplated that Sydney Matthews would be woman I would be lusting after or a distraction I’d have to navigate. I guess I would say that back then she was always beautiful and stood out amongst most of the other girls in our school. But she was also from a completely different world, so the idea that she would give me any attention was never even a consideration.
And yet here we are—grown ass adults with libidos and lives far from where we were as kids—and each time we’re near each other, my inkling of the person I thought Sydney was slowly melts away, but my desire to claim her only grows. Call me crazy, but I’m fairly certain I can sense a mutual attraction on her end as well.
I don’t want to feel this way. Every bone in my body is fighting the carnal need I feel to kiss her, touch her all over, and claim her as mine. The desire to feel her writhe beneath my body is one that is waking me up at night. And when I have to put my hands on her body during the self-defense class, it’s all I can do to control my dick from growing against her frame. Instead I punish myself with heavy doses of self-loathing and many jerk-off sessions in the shower, convincing myself that these fantasies of mine are all they’ll ever be because nothing can happen between us.
We’re too different. It would never work. All we could ever be is a down and dirty fuck, but the more I visualize it, the more I crave it.
I was all set to start the Monday off right and make progress on the house my crew is working on in the Ashwood community. If we avoid delays and issues with permits, we can usually put a house up in four to five months. That’s always ideal, but never the scenario that plays out. Things like random thunder storms always seem to derail progress.
We got the stucco down yesterday which means drywall can go in now. The agenda for today was to complete it all, but seems mother nature had other plans for me—like leading a woman through Home Depot when she’s probably never stepped foot inside the store.
I can feel Sydney’s eyes trail me as we make our way back to the tile section. And as I walk ahead of her, the florescent lights beating down on us, I wonder what’s going through her mind right now. Our little exchange in the truck had me thinking that maybe I should try to get to know her instead of staying firm in my opinion of her from the past.
But getting to know someone invites them to ask questions about you too, and the last thing I want to do is delve into what I’ve been up to for the past ten years.
Well, I was working as a line cook at Denny’s and doing handyman work on the side barely scraping by. But then one night at a party gone wrong, my sister was raped after her ex-boyfriend punched her and knocked her out, so I beat the shit out of him and went to jail for two years for aggravated assault.
Yeah, seems like the perfect conversation to settle the tension between us.
So instead, I guess I’m back to warring with myself every time we see each other, like now. I know I should have just taken her home, but I needed to stop in here for a few supplies and it was right down the road. The owner of our company asks us to be smart about our gas mileage too, so taking her with me just made more sense. Besides, if she still lives on the other side of town, it’s a little bit of drive to get there.
“You ever been inside of a Home Depot, Princess?” I ask over my shoulder, glancing back at her mostly just to make sure she’s still there.
“Yes,” she answers sharply, which means I must have offended her.
I find aisle fifteen and finally turn, knowing I need to get some more faucet grease so I can install the new fixture on my kitchen sink tonight. As I glance up at the sign that lists the items you find down this particular aisle, I take note of the list and can’t help but laugh to myself. I wonder why the sexual insinuation never came to me before today.
Lubricants, rope and chain, screws, and tie downs.
“Apparently people can find a good time in aisle fifteen,” I joke as I come to a stop in front of the selection of faucet grease and my eyes start trailing across the shelves.
“What?” Sydney asks, clearly perplexed as I point up to the aisle sign and wait for it to click for her.
And I can tell as soon as it
