“Are they being annoying?” Elijah asks, coming toward the foyer.
“They’re all right. I’m glad they’re leaving though.”
I follow Elijah to the kitchen and find Royce and Cillian standing around the island making sandwiches.
“Oh yeah, I’m starving,” I say, grabbing a plate for myself.
“You live in a hotel with room service, why are you not eating all the time?” Cill asks.
“I wasn’t there this morning.”
“Oooh!” Royce sings, then he stops. “Wait. That doesn’t make sense. If you’re hooking up, then being in the hotel makes sense. What were you doing?”
I shake my head and swipe the cold cuts from him. “I hung out with Ali and his friends last night. We drank too much, so I ended up crashing at Ali’s, then I drove back to the hotel today to shower and change. Then I came here.”
“Well, it seems like you and Alejandro worked your shit out,” Cill says, before taking a bite out of his sandwich.
“Yeah, we’ll be fine, I think,” I say, squirting mustard on the bread. “His friends are cool, and it was nice being out without being swarmed.”
“You don’t want to invite him over for dinner tonight?” Elijah asks. “It’s been a long time since he’s been around the table with us.”
I shake my head. “Nah, I was actually wanting to talk to you guys tonight.”
They all straighten up and stare at me. “What’s going on?” Royce asks.
“Nothing, just wanted to run something by you.”
I take a bite out of my sandwich to keep from having to say more, but their eyes are still trained on me.
Elijah takes his plate and grabs a bag of chips. “Let’s go to the dining room.”
After we’re all settled around the table, Cillian meets my gaze. “You want to tell us now? The girls are out doing wedding shopping and stuff.”
I take a deep breath as fear licks up my spine and nerves gather in my stomach. This is the first step. I have to tell my family before the media finds out and starts snapping pictures and posting them all over the internet and magazine covers. God forbid I get caught with Ali in an intimate moment. My family deserves to know first, and I need to be the one to tell them.
After them, I have to talk to my band members, and then everyone at the label. After that, I come out to the public.
God, just thinking about that makes sweat bead across my forehead.
“I was planning on talking to Elijah first,” I say, cutting my eyes to him. “But I guess it doesn’t matter.”
Something crosses over Elijah’s eyes, an understanding perhaps. The other two look almost scared. I wonder what’s going through their heads right now. I imagine whatever they’re thinking is way off base, because I don’t think they’d ever guess what I’m about to say.
I lean back in my chair and wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans. There is no way to lead up to this. I don’t want to beat around the bush or travel back in time and talk about my childhood and when I started questioning things. My best bet is to just spit it out all at once and wait for a response. Then we can go from there.
My eyes meet each one of theirs before I take a breath and say, “I’m gay.”
23
Alejandro
Present Day
I’m making a pot of coffee when a knock sounds on my door.
Pulling it open, I spot Jordy on my porch wearing a huge pair of sunglasses and holding a cup of coffee in his hand.
“Let me in, I’m already starting to sweat,” he says, fanning himself with his free hand.
“Yeah, it’s pretty hot today,” I reply, stepping back and letting him in. “What’re you doing here and why don’t you look the least bit hungover?”
Jordy removes his sunglasses and smiles. “I’ll take that to mean you think I look good.”
I roll my eyes and head to the kitchen to pour a cup of coffee. “So, what’s up? I don’t usually see you after our nights out. You’re usually too hungover to get out of bed, let alone leave the house.”
He makes himself comfortable at the sitting bar in my kitchen and grins that trouble-maker grin of his. “Maybe I wasn’t as drunk as you thought I was.”
“You were ordering us shots after shots. We were all fucked up.”
“Just because I ordered them doesn’t mean I was drinking them. I was more sober than you think.”
I lean against the counter, holding the mug of steaming hot coffee in my hand. “Why would you do that?”
“Because I’m a little more conscious of things than you give me credit for. My suspicions were raised and I had to conduct a little experiment.”
I take a sip before saying, “What the hell are you talking about?”
He smiles again. “How long have you known Merrick was gay, and are you aware of the sexual tension you guys radiate?”
The mug nearly drops from my hand, and I have to bring my other hand to steady it. “What? What do you mean? Merrick’s not gay,” I lie, trying to keep his secret just that.
Jordy rolls his eyes. “Honey, please. My ability to scope out the gays, both closeted and out, and even the curious boys, has always been top notch. On top of that, did you not hear me when I said you two vibrate with sexual energy? While you two were getting loose with each drop of liquor, my eyes were trained on you. If he wants to stay closeted, I’d suggest not being anywhere with you. Good Lord. You two look at each other like you want to rip the other one’s clothes off. He’s looking at your mouth while you’re checking out his biceps. The smiles that are usually reserved for lovers were being tossed between you two every ten seconds. Plus, let’s not forget he seemed interested to find out if we had been together. Jealous much? And he didn’t even
