We start playing another song, but my eyes keep finding Ali, making sure he hasn’t left. After one more, I finally catch him looking at me. When our eyes meet, he doesn’t look away. His face lacks any emotion. He doesn’t look happy to see me, but he doesn’t look angry either. He’s unaffected, and that might hurt more.
When we’re done playing that song, Sky takes the mic off the stand and starts talking. “I don’t know if y’all know it or not, but I’m not the only one who writes our songs. It’s usually me and Merrick,” he says, jerking his head in my direction. “That’s right, we’re not just pretty faces.” The crowd laughs and I shake my head. “Merrick’s written a new song, and we haven’t even recorded it yet. You’re getting never before heard music, people, so I hope you’re fucking excited about that.”
The people cheer and clap, and Sky glances back at me and nods. I reciprocate the gesture, and step forward.
“Oh, did you not know Merrick can sing, too? I think he’s gunning for my job,” he jokes.
More cheers erupt, and I spot the surprised faces of my brothers before I position myself in front of the microphone.
“Hey, guys. Don’t let Sky fool you, I’m not as good as him, but I’m trying. Don’t judge me too harshly.”
We start playing a slow melody, and I open my mouth to sing while looking directly at Ali.
My love for you is like nothing I’ve ever felt//
I’ve flown around the equator, traveled the earth’s belt//
But your soft lips call for me and I willingly reply//
Return to your whiskey-colored eyes, swimming blissfully in your paradise//
You think that I’m afraid, and maybe that’s true//
But my greatest fear is living my days without you//
Don’t you know you’re my everything? My happiness, my reason to live//
But I’m tortured and ruin everything, I need your willingness to forgive//
I’ve fucked up and I’ve hurt you. Oh where do I begin?//
When my wish is to make amends. In the end, you’re my closest friend//
So please give me one last chance, I can’t live without my heart//
You were destined to be my first and last, I can’t make it if we’re apart//
I’ve loved you since we were kids trying to figure things out//
And I’ll love you until the end of time, of this I have no doubt//
You’re my miracle personified, fate and destiny holding hands together//
We can weather any weather, We were meant for forever//
When the song comes to an end, my eyes stay locked on Ali’s. I barely register the cheers and applause. All I see is him.
I take the mic in my hand and walk to the edge of the stage and say, “I love you, Ali. I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks about that. I love this band and I’ve always thought music was my life, but I’ve been wrong. You are my life. One day I’ll be old and I won’t care about making music, but I’ll always care about you.
“Fuck everything else. Nothing is worth being unhappy, and you’re my happiness, Ali. I want a life with you. You’re my heart, and I can’t live without you.”
I turn toward the crowd who is now shocked silent as they watch with rapt attention. “I’m gay, and I’m in love with my best friend.”
Gasps and a few awws reach my ears, but I spin back and face Ali, because his reaction is the only one that matters to me. His eyes shine with tears as his bottom lip drops in surprise, and I wait for his response.
47
Alejandro
Present Day
Never in a million years did I expect this to happen.
Lexie coaxed me out, using the fact that she’s been one of my closest friends for ten years, and the fact that I’m in their wedding. She gave me puppy dog eyes and pouty lips, and Leo joined in, making me feel bad for not going out with them to a pre-bachelor/bachelorette party.
I knew it was weird. This plan was ridiculous and made no sense, but they said more of the wedding party would be meeting us here.
I expected to have a decent time, but when we walked in the door, Merrick and his band were already on stage. Lexie ignored my glares and then danced around my questions about who else was supposed to be here. Clearly, she’s loyal to Merrick as well, because I was pretty sure it was him who got her to bring me, and now it’s obvious he did and why.
A public declaration and outing was the last thing I thought he was going to do, and now I need to find my words to respond. Merrick just came out to everyone in this bar. He declared his love for me in the beautiful lyrics of his song and then his speech.
Lexie pushes me forward, tears glistening in her eyes. She doesn’t look surprised, so maybe Merrick told her.
I slowly make my way to the stage, vaguely aware of all the eyes on me. Merrick hops down and stands in front of me.
“Ali, I’m sorry for all the bullshit. I’ll never be able to take that back, but please—”
I cut him off by grabbing his wrist and saying, “I love you.”
His lips pull up into that cocky smirk, but relief swims in his eyes. “I love you, too.”
With a slight tug, I bring him closer, our chests nearly touching. I want to kiss him, but I’m still aware of the audience, and I don’t know
