“Well, I felt that with Claudia. The bartender.”
“I figured,” I added, my mind wandering to Luke. The way he looked in that bar, the way his eyes were downcast. And the way that Jake scared him away.
“We met in college, had sort of a whirlwind relationship, and everything went to shit within two weeks.”
“How come you’ve never told me about her?” I asked.
“Two weeks, man! I was still trying to figure out if it was going to be a thing or not. Man, I was such an idiot… I didn’t take the right kind of chance back then.”
That… that was an uncharacteristic thing for my overly confident, charismatic, asshat of a brother to say. This must have really been bothering him. “What do you mean?”
“Well, it’s easy to look back now and wonder what could have happened all those years ago. But I do know one thing…” he took a long drink of his water and wiped his mouth. “I’ve had so many flings before I finally met Erin and decided to marry her. But I don’t remember any of them, except the one with Claudia. It’s like… burned into my mind.”
I shifted my posture, thinking of how Luke’s image was branded into my brain.
Jake continued, “When you find someone like that… someone that makes you feel like that, you don’t squander the chance. You grab it with both of your hands and make it yours.”
I blinked a few times, trying to make it seem like what he was saying wasn’t having that much of an impact on me. Trying to conceal the fact that my thoughts were swimming with Luke: His blonde hair, his slim form, those red lips…
But how could I ever see him again? I got an Amber Alert for him when he was right there in my truck!
“You’ve met someone like that!” Jake declared, watching my face carefully. “You’re hiding someone from me, I know it! Come on man, I’ve known you our whole lives.”
He must have forgotten about last night. He must have forgotten about seeing me follow Luke into the bathroom.
I scowled. “No, I’m not hiding anyone. There’s nothing to tell!”
“It wouldn’t be the first time,” he said menacingly.
This was typical Jake. He’d have some kind of emotional revelation, and then try to backpedal and turn the conversation around so that he could feel like he was in control again.
All I wanted was for him to be out of my house so I could have alone time to think.
“Wouldn’t be the first time for what?” I asked, feigning cluelessness. I knew that he’d suspected about my past sub because he consistently pestered me with questions that would try and trick me into revealing information about it.
Only, he didn’t know the guy was just my sub. He saw evidence of me having another man in my house and he assumed I had a boyfriend.
No one could ever, ever know about my kink.
“Wouldn’t be the first time you were seeing someone and not telling me!” he declared.
“I wasn’t… I’m not…” I stammered, struggling to find the words to explain.
Then I straightened my posture and went into cop mode again. I wasn’t going to put up with my obnoxious brother’s questioning.
Thankfully, my phone buzzed right at that moment.
“Oh, that’s got to be him now!” Jake taunted. “Better get that.”
I scowled, walking back into the house to check my phone, expecting it to be some work thing.
But no — instead, it was a text from an unknown number.
“Hey! Thanks for the ride home last night. What are you up to?”
My heart was in my throat. It had to be Luke… it couldn’t be anyone else.
I knew that I had to make Jake go away before I could pay my full attention to texting Luke.
Again, it was like the rare bird had fluttered in and landed on my shoulder. Any wrong movement here and he’d be gone forever.
But I had to respond to him right now, to let him know I wasn’t playing games. So I composed a quick text that said, “Busy day, what are you up to?” Then backspaced it. Then I composed another, saying, “I have the day free, want to hang out?” Backspaced that one too. I couldn’t sound too available, and there was an edge of creepiness to that one.
The screen door opened, and Jake called to me. “Hey dude, quit texting your boyfriend and come hang out with me!”
“I don’t have a boyfriend,” I declared with finality, tucking the phone into my pocket. I’d think of the perfect text to send Luke later, once this asshole left my house.
* * *
An hour later, I was finally bidding Jake farewell. Once he stepped out of my front door, I felt a sense of calm come over me. Now that his energy was out of my space, I felt so much better. Even though I loved my brother, I could only handle him in doses.
I pulled out my phone and read Luke’s text again.
“Hey! Thanks for the ride home last night. What are you up to?”
I typed out, “Just got done with my brother. Sorry he was such an ass last night — let me buy you lunch to make it up to you?”
I hit send, my heart racing. It was a bold move for sure.
Normally I sent texts like this to guys I was interested in to go on dates no problem. But there was something about this one — something special and that made me feel terrified that I was going to screw it all up.
I closed my eyes and saw that rare bird flying away.
It seemed like an eternity before I got a response.
I began pacing in my living room, expecting him to make up some excuse. Expecting him to say no, that he was busy.
Of course he’d be busy; he was beautiful. And beautiful people were always busy.
But then my phone dinged and I read the text with a delight I haven’t felt in years.
“Sounds good, but I don’t have a ride,” he
