I was sitting in the warmth of the midday sun when my cell phone rang and jumpstarted my heart.
I reached for the cell. I swiped to answer. This was another surprise. It was Nelson.
“Hey Kat, Are you busy?”
“No, I’m good. I’m just taking a break. Hey, what’s up?”
“I thought it was time we went on that date. There’s a sirloin steak with your name in it.”
Red meat. I cut back on that a long time ago but one steak wasn’t going to clog my arteries.
“Is that right? Is it time?”
“Yes, whenever you’re ready.”
I hated this. I didn’t want to go. It felt strange going on a date while I was sleeping with Jason. But I owed Nelson this dinner. We were only going to talk so it wasn’t like I would be doing anything that put me in the floozy category.
“Does Friday night work for you?”
“Yes, I’m going to make the reservations today.”
“Okay great.”
“Is eight o’clock okay?”
I had to think about it. The store closed at nine. I could let Jason lock up but then I would have to tell him where I was going. I didn’t want to do that.
“The store is still open at eight. Could we make it nine-fifteen?”
“Yeah sure, whatever you want.”
“Yeah, that’s fine.”
Jason peeked his head out the back door like he had radar. Just like he had some feeling I was talking to another man. His eyes were saying come here. His mouth didn’t say much at all. He just ducked back into the door and was gone. I was frazzled and didn’t hear a thing that Nelson was saying to me.
“Hey, I’m sorry Nelson but I have to get back to work. I have a deadline for this book I’m editing.” I hoped to not come off as rude. I needed to see what Jason wanted.
“No problem, talk to you later.”
“Yes, later.” I ended the call.
I closed the screen to my laptop and carried it into the back door. I walked into the store and I saw Jason looking down into his cell phone.
“Hey is everything okay in here?”
“Uh, yeah.” He looked up at me.
“Did you want me for something?”
“Ah, no. I’m good.” But he wasn’t good. There was a pained look on his face.
“It’s almost closing time.” I blurted and he didn’t have a retort. “Were you lonely in here by yourself?” This question seemed to get his attention.
“I’ve been lonely most of my life.”
JAGGER
My chest hurt. My brain swirled with confusion. Kat was a good person and the deception was eating at me. She was a goddess. There was a connection that I couldn’t shake. I really thought that we had that thing people talked about, chemistry.
Approval was what I craved. I was a celebrity and we wanted to be liked and loved by the masses. I wanted her to embrace me instead of reject me. I wanted her to know me, the real me. I had to do this. I had to set the record straight. I had to be strong enough not to relapse if worse came to worst.
The sweetest girl I’ve ever known was looking at me from across a sea of sugar. I wouldn’t be able to sleep with these lies spinning my mind. The damage was done but I could stop this now and proceed like a man with honor.
I stood and walked out of the room. I grabbed the broom along the way. I walked the hall to the kitchen. I placed the broom behind the door. I paced by the sink. My nerves had me rattled. I knew Kat couldn’t see me. I had to stop being a coward. It was time to be the man that my father would’ve wanted me to be.
I stormed back into the showroom. I had to stand a safe distance away from her. She had taken my place behind the counter. I walked to the other side of the glass to face her. I prayed no customers would enter and stop my confession.
“Kat, I want to talk to you.”
“Okay.” Her soft coffee-colored eyes were full of sparkle.
I took in a labored breath. This was going to go bad. I just knew it.
“Yesterday—”
“Right, yesterday—”
I had to cut her off before I lost all the courage I had worked so hard to build.
“Kat, after we shagged, I mean slept together I’ve come to the conclusion that I really like you.”
“You like me?”
“Yes, a lot.”
“I like you too.”
“I like you more than the normal level.” I had to stop talking I couldn't get the words out the way I wanted them to come out.
“Jason, what happened between is—”
“Kat, you have to let me finish. What I have to say is rather important.” I needed to breathe in and out to get the words to flow in the right order.
“Okay, you’re scaring me. What’s going on?”
“I, I haven’t been completely honest with ah you.” I stammered along.
“About?” She practically growled and I had to pause to figure out my next move.
“My name, my name, isn’t, really, Jason.” I waited for a second to let the weight of my declaration sink in.
Her forehead wrinkled with seamless lines. “So, what’s your real name?”
“It’s Jagger. I name is Jagger.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Jagger?”
“Yes, Jagger, Jagger Adkins.”
She squinted her eyes. “Like the boy band guy Jagger? The one those little girls were raving about?”
“Yes, I’m that Jagger.”
She sighed heavily. She didn’t believe me. She thought this was a prank. “Not Jason Smith?”
“No, no, I’m not Jason Smith.”
“What? I saw your identification. Did you forget?”
“It’s not real. It’s a fake I.D.”
She let out a bit of a nervous laugh. “This isn’t funny Jason.”
“I’m being honest now. I lied before. I’m
