“I want that,” I say nodding toward their joined hands. “I’m not sure he wants the same thing. Or more to the point, if he’s ready to admit he wants it.” I sigh.
“Right.” Tarrant nods, something works behind his eyes. “Caden, if he doesn’t want you, then he’s a fucking idiot.” Our gazes lock, and my heart feels like it hits my ribcage at his words. “But, if he’s not sure because he hasn’t yet accepted what he wants, who he is…” Tarrant shrugs. “You can’t be mad, brother. Everyone needs to work themselves out at their own pace. He might admit to himself that he’s gay, or he might never admit it.” I break our stare and pinch the bridge of my nose. “Caden, have you ever considered he might not be gay? He might be bisexual, or he might just be curious… his actions may never amount to anything more.”
Tarrant’s words are all my worries personified, the ones I’ve been holding in. The very thoughts that have been painfully ripping my insides to shreds. Because, if Casper doesn’t know the answers to those questions, then there’s no way I could. I’m in the dark and the only person who can enlighten me has no clue what he wants.
“He asked Caden to wait for him,” Laura tells Tarrant. She glances over at me then back to him. “He said, ‘Will you wait for me to settle my soul.’”
Tarrant blows out a harsh breath and rubs his cheek. “Fuck,” he murmurs then turns to me. “You don’t have feelings for anyone else, right?” he asks, and I shake my head in the negative. “You don’t have to try anymore, he knows how you feel correct?” I nod, and he shrugs one shoulder at me. “Then you have nothing to lose. He knows how you feel, he’s asked you to wait. Let him be. If he wants you, he’ll be back. And if he doesn’t come back…” he shrugs again, “… you’ll find someone else. Someone who knows what they want. There’s no rush, brother.”
“But… he’s it for me,” I mutter.
Tarrant’s eyes widen, and he taps Laura’s leg, so she hops off his lap. Once standing, Tarrant grabs my hand and pulls me up and straight into his arms for a hug. “Give him time… just give him time, brother,” he says in my ear. I hold him a little tighter as his words reverberate through me.
“Love you,” I tell him.
“Always,” he replies
We pull away, and both look at Laura, whose eyes are filled with tears. She fans her face, and Tarrant smirks at her. “Don’t mind me… you guys have your moment, I’m just gonna go freshen up.” She smiles through her tears and rushes off toward the bathroom.
“So, give him time?” I ask.
Tarrant nods. “And space. Let him come to you.”
“Okay,” I reply.
“Ice cream?” he asks walking toward the freezer.
I grin at his back as he walks away.
“You quit football.”
I stiffen at his words. “You know?” I question. I’ve not told one person. “How did you know?”
Tarrant pulls out the ice cream as Laura walks back in the room. She moves to him and lays her head on his back, wrapping her arms around his front. He gently unlocks her hands from his chest and turns around to face her, pulling her back to him and kissing her tenderly. I wander into the living room, trying to give them their moment.
A few minutes later they join me. Laura hands over a bowl and sits next to me with her own. Tarrant takes the armchair opposite and digs into his food. “Coach told me,” he offers once he’s consumed the first spoonful.
I’m shocked at first, but when I let it sink in, I realize I’m not that surprised. It’s obvious from our conversation the other day Coach Stanford has been looking out for me for a while.
“What did he say?” I ask, taking another spoonful of ice cream and devouring it.
“Just that you quit. He understood your reasons why, but now you’re not on the team, he can’t keep an eye on you like he could before. Can’t make sure you’re okay. He said that was my job now.” I swallow hard and place my half-eaten bowl of ice cream on the coffee table. “Kind of figured it was always my job to look out for you. This is not a hardship, Caden.”
Swallowing again, I manage to compose myself before my emotions take over. A resolve fills me, and I smile. “I love you, both of you. Tarrant, I know you’ll always look out for me, but know that I’ll always look out for you, too. It’s what families are supposed to do for each other.” He nods at me, grinning. “I’m okay. Actually, I think I’m pretty good. Yes, I have Casper issues, but nobody can help me with those,” I say to the both of them. Laura smiles and Tarrant looks at her adoringly. “You two have each other. I left football because I haven’t wanted to play it for so long and Dad has already paid up my tuition, so I’m good. I’m happier now than I’ve been for a long time. Anyway, we have another focus… Morgan,” I tell them.
“You’re right,” Laura mumbles, placing her bowl down and walking over to Tarrant. Once again, he pulls her into his lap and nuzzles her ear, causing her to giggle some more. “So, battle strategy?”
I look between the two of them. “Either of you want to research pregnancy? And all that goes along with it?” I smirk, and they look at each other. “I figure if we’re going to be there for her… no matter what she decides to do… we’d be most helpful if we actually knew a little about it, right?” Laura nods enthusiastically,
