“Yeah…. There was a part where Grampy wrote about my dad. I guess he almost beat him up and everything.”
“Oh my gosh, for real?” Tia was stunned.
“Yeah. He used to live little ways outside of town in a trailer. I guess he frequently went to the bar down by the waterfront. That’s about it.” I shrugged. “I went as far as driving out of town, hoping to find where he lived. Turns out that was just wishful thinking.”
“But it’s a start, yeah? Are you going to keep looking?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “By the sounds of it, he wasn’t exactly a stand-up person. He seemed like a bit of a loser, to be honest.”
“Do you think you could get anything out of finding him? Like, I dunno, closure or something?”
Closure was a funny word. It had been almost seventeen years; I didn’t think closure was something my father could ever give me.
“I don’t know. He would just be a stranger, really,” I said, but I knew deep down he was a stranger I still wanted to meet. Was that the worst thing in the world? Just to say, Hey, I exist? I knew there wouldn’t be much room for a relationship, but I still thought about the what-ifs.
“Do you know his name?”
“Blake Morrison. That was what was written in the journal, at least.”
“Can’t say the name sounds familiar. But who knows, he could still be in town?”
“Or he could be in Montreal, Toronto, or Vancouver. A lot can change.”
“You’re right about that.” Tia smiled. “But you didn’t. You’ve been a disappearing act lately. A mystery I’m still trying to solve.”
Yeah, just like everyone else in my family, I thought.
“I don’t think there’s much else besides what you see on the surface,” I said.
“And I think that’s a bold-faced lie,” she cut me off. “My childhood best friend had the most beautiful mind on this side of the world. You have more depth than most, Anna, but I think you’re just afraid to show the world who you really are. I’m not going to chase you over it, but I just want you to know that you don’t have to hide who you are with me.”
I smiled. Tia could read me like a book. I was hiding something—well, someone. I felt a weight of guilt because Clay had always had to hide while I got to explore. I was so scared someone would take him away. I knew no one could ever find out about him.
After I hung out with Tia, I got in the truck and drove off. I didn’t really feel like going home right away. I didn’t really want to see Mom yet. Maybe sightseeing would be a healthy way to let off steam.
“I’m happy to see you’re still friends with Tia.” Clay faded into the passenger seat.
“Jesus!” I jumped and hit the brakes. “Do you always gotta make an entrance like that?”
“There’s no other way to do it.” Clay shrugged. “Thanks for not telling Tia about me.”
“What could I say?” I laughed as I hit the gas again. “Not like I can just be like, ‘I ran into Clay, my imaginary friend from when I was a kid, and we’ve been spending time together, catching up, jumping back to the past, learning about things I’m not supposed to.’”
“To be fair, she was always the rebellious one.” Clay shrugged.
“And how do you know that?”
“You used to write about her.” Clay shrugged again. “You wrote an entire entry about her birthday party once, then another about how often you would spend time on the waterfront together.” I turned onto the road to downtown.
“Oh, yeah?”
I did remember the time we spent down by the waterfront. Tia’s dad, Jonathan, would sometimes buy us ice cream and we’d play on the docks.
“Do you want a refresher?”
I glanced at him to see if he was serious. “Kinda.”
I pulled into the parking lot of an abandoned bank that looked like it had been deserted for some time. There was no one around so Clay picked up the journal, flipped through a couple pages close to the beginning, gave me a nod, and extended his hand. We touched, and I closed my eyes. When I opened them again, Clay’s hand was Tia’s, and she was gripping it hard, spinning round and round and round.
“Woah!” I yelled. “What’s going on?”
We both fell down and she laughed out loud. I looked around to see we were on the waterfront, the sun high and boats passing by.
“You were always such a goofball.” I smirked.
Tia stuck her tongue out at me and ran across the docks. I got up and followed her.
“Hey!” I yelled. “Where are you going?” That’s when I realized I, too, was a kid. I couldn’t really pretend to be the adult here. I guess I would just go along with it. I followed Tia as she ran along the edge with her hands extended, which I thought was quite risky, but I remember doing it with her as a kid.
“Girls!” I heard in the distance. I turned to see a stressed-out looking Jonathan running towards us. “Get away from the edge!” he yelled.
Tia laughed, but I was starting to get worried too. Being a kid really is carefree; I could finally see why we stressed that man out so much. I ran up, grabbed Tia’s arm, and pulled her back. She fell on top of me in a fit of laughter and fun.
I looked up to see Jonathan’s red face let out a sigh of relief. “Tia! What did I tell you yesterday?” He crossed his arms.
She sat up. “No running away anymore.”
“And what did you just do?” he scolded.
“Run away!”
Tia got up and ran. I laughed watching her running towards the sidewalk as Jonathan helped me to my feet.
As she ran, I began to remember that day more clearly. We had spent the afternoon on the waterfront, Tia ended up getting lost, Jonathan had a meltdown, and….
“Tia!” Jonathan called. “Tia, where
