I was seventeen on that night, my birthday being in July. I was always glad my parents had made the decision to keep me back a year rather than enrolling me in school when I was five as it would have put me in the grade ahead, meaning I wouldn’t have the friend group I’d grown up with. It also meant I likely wouldn’t have ever befriended Matty.
All of my friends, including Matty, were sixteen on that night. Everyone was by now driving their own cars, and some even had after school jobs lined up for the coming year. It felt like we’d all become adults that summer, with plans for college already starting to take shape. I was scheduled to take the SAT test that fall, with my parents talking about different university options for me to consider.
Since many of our friends had spent the summer away as camp counselors or on extended family trips, there was a lot to catch up on. And everyone was excited to start eleventh grade, finally reaching upper class status. All of our friends gave Matty gifts, including me; I’d gotten him a card that read “Best Friends Forever” along with a new leather wallet to replace his beat-up vinyl one. I had also tucked my sophomore year photo and a wallet-size picture of us at prom inside.
Everyone was having a great time. Everyone but me, that is. I tried to join in the party atmosphere, but knowing that Matty not only would be gone the next day but would not be at school next week, or any week after that, weighed on me heavily. As the night wore on, I just could not deal with the fact that Matty was leaving forever.
“Hey, I’m heading home,” I said to Matty as I gathered my things together from the lounge chair where they had been setting, trying to put a smile on my face while swallowing back my tears. “I just can’t be here anymore, Matty.”
“Wait, don’t go, Leah. Stay with me; the party is almost over. We’ll go home together.” He put his fingers on my arm and left them slide down to my hand, which he held in his and squeezed.
“Matty, I just can’t,” I said, avoiding his eyes and swinging my beach bag over my shoulder, knowing that the round of farewells that would start once the pool closed would be more than I could bear. “You say your goodbyes to everyone, take your time; you’re the one moving away.”
“Well, I’ll come over later, okay?” he asked, coming closer to me. “This party wraps up in about an hour. Leave your window unlocked, okay?”
“Duh, it’s always unlocked,” I managed a small smile as I let go of his hand and turned to go, tears welling up and starting to fall down my cheeks. Once I knew I was out of sight of my friends, I sped up and ran to my car, letting out a loud sob once I was safely inside with the door closed. I don’t even remember the drive home. My sisters were staying over at a friend’s house that night and my parents were still at the Boyd’s going away party. By the time I walked in the front door, my face was a red, puffy mess from crying. All I wanted to do was flop down on my bed and sob, but I knew I had to get it together for when Matty showed up.
I allowed myself a good twenty-minute cry before forcing myself to stop. I then splashed my face with cold water a dozen times in an attempt to bring the swelling in my eyes down. I tried to fix myself up as best I could, but I hadn’t even changed from my swimsuit into dry clothes when I heard the window in my bedroom opening.
I took a deep breath and came out from the bathroom, forcing a smile on my face. But when Matty and I locked eyes, the tears started again. I just could not hold them back.
Matty came forward and grabbed me in a crushing hug. “Leah, please don’t. Please don’t cry. I can’t take it,” he said, shaking me a bit as he held me. “Shh, it’s going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay. We are still going to be best friends. We will always be best friends. Leah,” he whispered in my ear, “I love you. I will always love you. I will always be with you. Together forever, remember? Pinky swear?”
I didn’t answer, but instead I tried to slow my breathing and to get control of myself. My head was buried in his chest and my arms were around his waist; I could feel my heart pounding harder the longer he held me, and I knew Matty could feel it, too. Matty started rubbing my back and we began rocking back and forth together, almost as if we were slow dancing. Matty pulled away slightly and brought one hand around, putting his fingers under my chin and gently tilting my face up towards his. He leaned down and gave my lips a gentle kiss, and then another. I closed my eyes and leaned into him, my body coming awake as we continued kissing. Our kissing became intense, and Matty’s hands were suddenly all over me. While we had kissed before, we were older now, and our techniques had advanced.
I still had on the lightweight hoodie sweatshirt and jean shorts I had worn to the party over my two-piece swimsuit. Matty paused and looked at me, and I gave him the unspoken go ahead for him to unzip the lightweight fleece jacket, shrugging it off and letting it drop onto the floor; and I then pulled his tee shirt off. We stared into each other’s eyes while he put his
