“Same for me,” I said, as my breath steadied and I relaxed, gazing up at him. “I’m so glad it was with you. I love you, Matty. You are my best friend and will always be, no matter how far away you move.”
Matty smiled a sad smile and leaned down to kiss me. “I love you, too, Leah. Always.” He rolled on his back and pulled me over with him so that I ended up on my side. I snuggled into him and said, “I wish we could stay like this forever.”
“Me, too,” he replied, as he played with my ponytail, twirling my hair around his fingers.
“What time do you leave tomorrow?” I asked hesitantly, not wanting to hear the answer but knowing that I needed to know.
Matty sighed and said, “The moving trucks are coming at eight in the morning, but my mom and I are leaving for the airport at six. My dad is going to stay behind to supervise the loading of the truck. He’ll start on the road by the afternoon. My parents sold my mom’s car but are keeping my dad’s. They’re already talking about getting fancy new cars once we are in California.”
I glanced at my clock radio. “It’s eleven-fifteen; how long was your parent’s party going to go for?”
“Midnight,” Matty answered. “We have about an hour left before I have to get back. And before your folks get home.”
We locked eyes before I settled back into him, holding on for dear life. There was so much I wanted to say, and I even considered trying to initiate sex with him again, even though I was sore and no longer in the mood.
All I really wanted to do was just feel his arms around me and his body against mine, to remember his scent and the feeling of his warm skin. I wanted to remember every last minute together before he was gone forever. I snuggled closer into his side, resting my hand on his chest while he ran his fingers slowly up and down my back. I loved the feeling of my bare breasts pressing into his skin and how our legs were crossed over one another’s. This was what people meant when they said that two people become one, I thought.
We laid together in silence, the only noise the sounds of the night coming through my still open bedroom window. I willed time to stop, to let me savor my time with Matty longer. I couldn’t imagine being able to let him go.
“Leah, honey! Are you home?” I heard my mom yell from downstairs.
“Shit!” Matthew and I both whispered in unison, jumping out of bed. I wrapped the blanket around me while Matty threw on his swim trunks and tee shirt. I looked at my clock to see it was already twelve-thirty; we had dosed off and lost track of time.
We rushed to the window as we had done many times before when Matty had stayed over too long without my parents knowing. Matty put his hand on the window sill, preparing to climb out, but he turned around and kissed me hard on the lips. “I love you, Leah, remember that. Best friends forever, no matter what, okay? Promise?”
“Yes, forever and always, I promise. I love you, too, Matty.” And with one last quick kiss, Matty climbed out the window and scaled down to the lawn, looking back up at me one last time and giving a wave before running off towards his house. I could hear my mom coming up the stairs, so I ran into my bathroom and turned the shower on. I heard her open my bedroom door but then close it again when she heard the water running.
I was out of breath and shaking, both from almost being caught in bed with Matty by my folks but also from the events of the evening. I sat down on the toilet, and there was blood when I wiped. Just some spotting, nothing too bad. I took a shower, hating to wash Matty off me.
I tossed and turned all night; I could still smell Matty on my bedding. I cried off and on, drifting in and out of sleep. I felt some guilt over having sex; I was no longer a virgin, and I had thought I would wait until I was married so that my husband would be the only man I would ever be with. But on the other hand, I was happy that I had been with Matty. I loved him, and I knew he loved me. I told myself that because we loved each other that it was okay. We hadn’t had sex; we’d made love, which wasn’t a sin, I convinced myself. And it was a special circumstance, seeing that Matty was leaving. God would forgive me, I hoped. I mean, if I had my way, I would marry Matty; so, whether we were together now or later, I had always wanted him to be my first and my only.
I woke up suddenly to sunlight streaming through my window and the sound of a large vehicle turning onto our street, which I knew immediately was the Boyd’s moving truck. That meant I had missed Matty leaving with his mom for the airport earlier. I had thought about setting my alarm so that I could wake up and stand at the window to wave goodbye to him as he drove away; but I was honestly glad that I hadn’t done that as I don’t think I would have been able to bear watching his car disappear down the road.
I finally got up and went into the bathroom, where again there was a little bit of blood when I wiped. I didn’t know then that I would soon bleed much worse.
CHAPTER SEVEN
I awoke with a start to realize I had drifted off to sleep. I looked over to see Matty snoring softly next to me on his lounger; his sleeping
