I finally stepped back a bit and, without looking at him, undid the hook on my bikini top. Matty could sense that I was too shy to completely take it off myself, so he gently pulled me back towards him and brought the straps from around my shoulders, keeping just enough distance between us to let it fall to the ground. He then ran his hands up and down my bare back before bringing them around to my exposed breasts and gently cupping them. I watched him as he stared at my body, the sensation of his hands on me bringing on an excitement I had never felt before.
As I became more aroused, I started shedding my inhibitions. I slid my hands down the sides of his body to the waistband of his swim trunks and pushed them down. I remember gasping at the sight of him, as I had never seen a naked boy before. He smiled and kissed me again before unbuttoning my shorts and letting them fall.
We stood pressed together with only my bikini bottoms between us, continuing to kiss. The feeling of our skin touching was the most overwhelming sensation I had ever felt; and I suddenly became brave, taking his hand and leading him over to my bed. I laid down on top of my bedspread, pulling Matty down on top of me. We began kissing again, letting our hands explore each other’s bodies. Matty took my hand and placed it so I could feel his arousal. I had a moment of fear as I realized what we going to do, but my desire was so strong that I pushed any hesitation away and pulled my bikini bottoms off.
“Are you sure, Leah?” Matty asked. “We don’t have to go any further. It’s okay, you can say no.”
“No,” I said. “I mean, yes. I want to go further. I’m not saying no. I’m saying yes.” I had of course fantasied about this very moment many times over the past two years, but the reality was so much different. The feeling of his warm skin, the rising of his bare chest as his heart rate rose, and the sound of his rapidly increasing breathing were all new experiences for me. My body was strongly responding in ways I had never known it could.
Matty balanced his weight on top of me and we awkwardly wiggled around trying to find a comfortable position. I only knew what to do, or at least what I thought I was supposed to do, based on what I had seen in movies and from some basic sex education we’d been given once at school. I knew I needed to spread my legs, and I felt a lot of pressure as Matty started to enter me. I then felt a sharp pain, which made me gasp and suck in my breath.
Matty pulled out, “I’m sorry, Leah. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Are you okay? We’ll stop, okay?”
“No,” I insisted. “Don’t stop. I know it will hurt a bit. But I want to finish. Please.”
Matty hesitated, but I pulled his body back down and spread my legs apart further. “Please, Matty. Please.” I kissed his mouth and then his neck as he lowered himself back down and into me. The pain was there again, but not as sharp. Just an uncomfortable fullness. Matty tried to go slow and be gentle, but his teenage hormones eventually took over and he thrust into me hard before coming, which brought on another wave of pain, so strong that it made my eyes water. But it also felt good to be so close to him, to feel him inside of me. I wasn’t sure if I’d had an orgasm or not. The feeling was so intense, but I didn’t shudder or moan the way Matty did.
Matty pulled out and tried to catch his breath. “I went too fast. I’m sorry. I couldn’t help it,” he said as he laid on his side next to me, keeping a hand on my stomach. “Did I hurt you? Are you bleeding?”
“Bleeding?” I asked, thinking that it was a such a weird question. Why on earth would I be bleeding? “Um, I’m not sure.”
“Sometimes girls bleed their first time. At least, that’s what I heard. Do you want me to check?” he asked as he began to move to get a look.
“No! No, that’s okay,” I practically shrieked as the thought of Matty getting an up-close look down there was mortifying. I reached over and pulled a blanket up from the floor, which Matty helped drape over me, spreading it out so that it covered him at the waist.
“If you didn’t bleed now, you might a little later. I mean, that’s what they told us in sex ed.”
“Well, they never mentioned that in my sex ed class. Why would they tell the boys and not the girls? And how don’t you already know?” I asked hesitantly, looking down at my hand, which was resting on top of his hand on my stomach.
“How would I know? I’ve never been with a girl before,” Matty said, looking surprised that I didn’t know that.
“Oh. I just…assumed. The girls are always pushing me aside to try to get to you,” I said with a little laugh, thrilled to know that I was in fact his first. “I think most girls are only friends with me in an effort to get close to you.”
“Well, I wanted to wait until it was right. And tonight, it just felt right.” Matty looked at me and quietly said, “You know I’m not interested in your friends or the other girls at school. You have always been the only girl in my life, Leah. I guess I always figured my first time would be with you. I mean, I wanted it to
