“Oh, Jakob.” I extracted myself, my eyes overflowing, tears mixing with droplets of steadily falling rain. “I’ve already told you. You just weren’t listening.” Spinning, I dashed up the steps.
“You still don’t know, do you?”
I paused, chancing a look over my shoulder. “Know what?”
“Why you left? Why you run whenever things get serious? Ever consider that maybe you’re the one who’s not listening? Don’t forget, I know you better than anyone. But yeah, run away, because that’s what you do. Just figure out your shit before you spin another poor guy through the Amara wringer.” Second later, the car door slammed, tires crunching over loose gravel and pavement as he backed out of the driveway.
Once inside the house, I leaned with my back against the door, smothering the sobs.
The sound of footsteps coming down the staircase had me drying my eyes, and I swung around, turning my back to the hall as I removed my shoes.
“Out all night, huh? Someone had some fun.” Dara’s voice was cheery, my friend oblivious to the tornado of emotions raging through me. She peeked through the glass insert at the side of the door. “Jake left? You should have invited him in.”
“Please leave it alone.” I said in a low voice, avoiding her curious looks as I headed down the hall.
“What’s going on?” She trailed after me. “Did you two fight? You can’t leave it like that, sweets.”
I slumped onto the couch. “We had an amazing time. Sari is adorable. And tomorrow, I’m on a plane back to reality.”
Her heavy sigh was accompanied by running water, followed by the swoosh of the gas burner. “Seems things already got real.”
“This is a borrowed life. A fantasy. The real one is waiting for me on the other side of the country.”
“You want to talk about it?”
“Not sure there’s any point, but maybe later.” As she sat beside me, I said, “How are you feeling?”
“Today hasn’t been bad. The nausea is all but gone, though I pee constantly.” She leaned back, the outline her growing bump noticeable under her loose blouse.
“Can I?” I motioned, and at her nod, I touched her belly. “Talk about unreal. Soon you’ll be a mommy.”
“I’m so excited, but also slightly terrified. Then I tell myself I have Dean and my friends to help me through this.” She covered my hand. “Remember how we vowed to raise our babies together? Take them to the park and share those wonderful big family dinners we never had as kids?”
“How could I forget?” I drew in a long breath, my shaky laugh making Dara frown. “I’ll visit all the time so I can be a good auntie.”
“Oh, sweetie.” My friend looped an arm around my waist. “It’ll happen for you too. Just give him a chance. The man is crazy about you.”
Yeah, the man was crazy … to think I’d bend on having my own child.
“Hey,” she said, patting my knee, “my friend sent me a posting for a senior pharmacist at Dartmouth General. With your education and experience, you’d be a perfect fit.” Fluttering lashes accompanied her wide grin. “Then you can be here for the birth and for … everything.”
“I’ll visit when you’re due and help with the baby.”
She sighed. “Boy, you are one tough sell. Let’s go for lunch and choose some stuff for the nursery. That’ll cheer you up.”
“Absolutely. Boy or girl?”
She shrugged, but her lovely smile lifted my mood. “Do you have holiday plans? It would be amazing if you joined us. My parents are coming, and they’d love to see you. They missed talking to you at the wedding.”
“Really? I mean, I’ll have to see if I can arrange it. No promises.” Being in the middle of Dara’s happy family for the holidays would soothe some of my wounds, but I wasn’t sure I could bear being near Jake. “Let me change, and we can head out.”
“You could wear that cuddly sweatshirt.” She hugged her arms to her chest. “Don’t tell Dean, but Jake smells yummy, all the time.”
I scrunched my nose, trying to block those subtle warm and masculine scents rising from soft cotton encasing my body. Feeling so close to him emotionally, but still so disconnected, was a leaden weight, dragging me into the abyss.
All the more reason to change. Maybe then I could forget that I already missed the man.
Even with the emotional upheaval over the past few days, Dara’s joy as she showed Dean our afternoon’s purchases made everything worthwhile. It highlighted just how much I’d missed while I’d been gone.
“Look what Auntie Amara bought!” She draped the baby wrap over one shoulder, stroking the soft cotton. “It’s perfect. Baby wearing is so good for their development.”
“That’s amazing, Bunny. And I agree. I heard all about it when Sarina was born, remember?” Dean winked at me. “Jake got some ribbing from the guys over his cute baby wrap.”
“Ha!” Dara laughed. “They were jealous, because he got loads of attention from the ladies, who, by the way, thought that wrap was adorable and more than a little sexy.”
“Oh, did they now?” Dean curled an arm around his wife. “You were eyeing my best friend?”
“Not me, silly.” She batted her lashes. “I only have eyes for one man.”
“Sure, sure.” Dean snickered. “All right, Bunny, put your feet up and I’ll get your loot out of the way so we can eat dinner.” He gathered up several bags and headed toward the stairs.
“I’ll help.” I scooped up the large bag of crib linens, hurrying after the man.
“Thanks,” Dean said as I caught up to him. “Let’s put this in the extra room for now.” He flicked on the lights and started a neat stack of parcels on the bed. As I added my load, he said. “It means a lot to Dara that you actually came. She’s missed you terribly.”
“I’ve missed her. I didn’t realize how
