To find out what kind of anchors trigger their blocking, just ask the PWS, “How do you know when to block?” “What triggers you to block?” Because blocking is not inevitable, you could assume that when those key factors are missing they are fluent. Check that out: “And when you are fluent, that key factor is not present?” In this way the PWS discovers what sets off their blocking behavior. Then they can choose to change the meaning and power of those triggers. This makes a profound difference to someone’s life. Once on the road to fluency, the old meanings associated with blocking simply dissolve.
The following situations commonly trigger blocking for most PWS:
Being away from the safety of being by themselves at home.
Finding the atmosphere “tense” or “serious”.
Being under pressure to finish what they have to say. Having to “Hurry up!”
Reading out loud in front of a group.
Speaking to anyone at all/anyone in authority/anyone of the opposite sex.
Ordering in a restaurant, or asking a shop assistant for help.
Making a phone call or answering the telephone. (Some can make a call but cannot answer the phone, and vice versa. It depends on the meaning of the context.)
What exactly is the trigger? Sometimes it is a combination of factors; the PWS interprets the whole situation together with their expectations as the cue for running their blocking strategy. It may be that they are no longer aware of what the specific cues are because they have generalized the situation. For example, it is sufficient that they perceive the other person as having higher status, an “authority figure”, or in a position of power over them. The PWS explains this by saying that it goes back to their childhood, being confronted or challenged by the parents, or perhaps to a time when they were being put down by teachers. Since then it has been extended to all other people in authority. The thought now serves as the trigger for the PWS to experience blocking. Beliefs about self
The PWS usually has a number of limiting beliefs about who they are, and come to identify with the negative descriptions of themselves which they connect to the blocking and stuttering.
CASE STUDY 5
Sam had stuttered since a small child. He grew up in a nation that was under attack from a neighboring more powerful nation. If this wasn’t bad enough, Sam grew up in a home where his parents constantly fought. He had clear memories of being in his bedroom listening to his parents fighting.
The insecurities arising from their hostility had a more profound effect on Sam than did his memories of hearing bombs explode. That says something about the importance of growing up in a secure environment.
Sam developed such beliefs as:
“There is no meaning to life. The more I achieve, the less I feel fulfilled.”
“Marriage is the end of love because it creates a miserable life.”
“No one can have enough girls.” (If marriage is the end of love, how could anyone settle down with only one woman?)
“The only way one can find fulfillment is to die.”
“People who are happy are kidding themselves.”
“Nothing will make me happy.”
“Life is ‘exile’.”
“People who are nice are not real.”
“People who are ugly and mean are real.”
Those views of the world gave Sam some real challenges. Fearing the world, Sam was constantly on guard:
“People are watching me. They are waiting to catch me in a weak moment so that they can take advantage of me. I have to be constantly on guard to make sure that they don’t hurt me.”
Sam’s belief that other people were out to get him is an extreme example of how PWS perceive other people as always judging their blocking. Like Alan (Case Study 7, below), his motto was: “One must remain vigilant at all times lest someone take advantage of you or even kill you.” Sam took that to extremes. I have frequently found similar though less extreme beliefs about the world in people who block (Figure 2.1).
“It is not OK to stutter.” “People judge the content of what I am saying.” “I fear being rejected.” “I will not let them see me struggle.” “Others expect me to stutter.” “I will not give others the chance to laugh at me.” “I feel hurt (not validated).” “I will avoid situations that expose vulnerabilities.” “I don’t measure up.” “I must be right or people will judge me.” “I feel isolated from others.” “I am scared of speaking in public.” “My life is out of control.” “I need to be respected and loved to be fluent.” “I cannot speak.” “People validate or determine my worth.” “I am ‘less than’.” “I will not show my vulnerabilities.” “I look foolish.” “I must protect myself by not getting involved in relationships.” “I am going to attract attention.” “People always judge me.” “I must conceal my emotions.” “What people say about me becomes truth.” “I must protect myself from being hurt by others.”
Figure 2.1: Beliefs about fearing what other people may think
Most PWS can usually identify with almost every one of these beliefs. The trouble is they do not entertain such beliefs one at a time. Instead, they keep adding them, layer upon layer, on top of their previous thoughts. Each time they imagine the often terrible fear of what others may think of them because they block and stutter they build their “demon”. Every time they think about this growing mass of negativity around their behavior, it
