Figure 2.2: Layering thoughts
CASE STUDY 6
A PWS creates layers of negative thinking which lead to blocking. By unpeeling each layer and finding the core thought, the PWS has the opportunity for changing those limiting beliefs to ones which are more positive and supportive. For example, Sally created a web of negative and limiting beliefs of herself as a person. Here are some of the multiple layers of thoughts Sally was using to maintain her blocking (Figure 2.3). This had become embodied in her chest, neck, stomach and jaw.
“I am flawed.”“I am a poor performer.”“I am foolish.”“I am not a good communicator.”“I am inadequate.”“I am an embarrassment.”“I am a ‘stutterer’.”“I don’t want to look like a fool.”“I am worthless.”“I am frustrated with my life.”“I am insecure.”“I need protection from life.”“I am timid.”“I need to change due to my stuttering.”“I am anxious.”“I am more sensitive.”“I am tense.” “I can’t handle criticism.”“I am shamed.” “I will not do anything that draws attention to myself.”“I am not enough.” “I pity myself.”
Figure 2.3: Layers of beliefs
What happens to your state as you read through these two lists of negative frames? It is highly likely that you will find yourself going deeper and deeper into a negative state. The more you do “stinking thinking” the more of a “stinking state” you go into. How do you get out of this vicious spiral? One way is to think differently. If you are feeling down, Stop! right now, and get yourself back up into a good state for being curious about how to change your thinking.
You change how you think by changing your physiological state. Jump up and down, walk, run, play sport – anything that makes you feel good, happy, more alive, alert, and so on. Physical exercise changes your state. So right now, what could you do to make yourself feel really great and fully alive?
Remember: you are in control, you can choose to stop your debilitating thinking patterns. After all, you create the meaning of your experience. You know that you can change your mind by perceiving the world from a different point of view, to see the glass as half full, rather than half empty – by engaging in reframing. You examine your thoughts and then relabel them, reorganize them, reevaluate them, or even find them so ridiculous that you burst out laughing!
If thinking negative thoughts leads to blocking, then thinking positive thoughts can lead to fluency. Action follows thought. It makes a difference which kind of content you have in mind – and you are ideally positioned to decide that. However if thinking positively is not your usual pattern then you need to practice filling your mind with resourceful thoughts. A resource is anything that puts you in a good state, something you apply to a limiting situation in order to improve it. For example, in the present circumstances, a resource could be your ability to step back or disconnect from a debilitating mass of negative beliefs.
When the PWS disconnects from the negative web of thoughts and feelings attached to their blocking and stuttering they immediately become empowered and able to recover their fluency in speech. As a clinician, your goal is to get the PWS to disconnect from that debilitating web which they have been weaving since childhood. By disengaging the emotional attachments from their behaviors around speaking, they can adopt a more resourceful perception of themselves as worthy adults, no matter how they perform. Using the maps of childhood
How often do people use their mental maps from childhood rather than updating them throughout their adult life? The PWS is metaphorically treating their childhood map as an accurate representation of the current situation. They are responding now to a trigger that has its origins way back in some traumatic childhood experience. In re-living that experience they respond as they did then by stuttering.
Alan (below) spent most of his long adult life living in a dysfunctional family in a state of constant fear of other people. As a consequence, he was unable to free himself from blocking and stuttering. The blocking was a direct result of that unconscious childhood learning. When he called particular people on the phone or spoke with them in public, in his mind he felt like a child and instantly behaved in a childlike manner. His out-of-date map told him it was time to be afraid once more. It makes sense, therefore, to ask the PWS how old they feel when they are in the blocking and stuttering state. They will be able to tell you, and they may surprise themselves when they realize how young they are acting!
CASE STUDY 7
One of my clients, Alan, has a business that involves renting out apartments and town houses. When he talks to a prospective tenant, he tends to panic and block. During my first telephone conversation with him he said:
“I have to produce. I have to produce. I have to rent these units. It is my responsibility. If I don’t rent these units I will not have any income. I will become bankrupt. I will be out in the streets! Everything in my life is out of control!”
Alan has these immense fears even though he has adequate financial resources. In fact he doesn’t have to continue working. Yet these fears are so ingrained that they override all adult reasoning.
Further inquiry revealed that he viewed his world as a place of immense competition. Alan’s grandparents immigrated to the US from a country that had experienced tremendous horrors; his people had undergone persecution. These fears had been passed down from generation to generation and were deeply embedded in him. Alan treats the world as a place to be feared. His motto is “One must remain vigilant at all times lest someone take advantage of you, and even kill you.” In Alan’s mind, everyone is out to get him.
To compound this,
