Chapter Six Techniques of Change Frames
The particular meaning we make of experience comes from the way we perceive our reality. Meaning depends upon our present need and our past experience. A frame is that way of perceiving the world. For example, if you are looking for a birthday present for a friend, your perceptual frame will influence the way you shop, and relate to your knowledge of that person and your expectations of what they will like. This book has a Blocking and Stuttering frame in that it pays attention to some of the available information about this topic and ignores other topics. There is a predominant focus on a certain kind of behaviour: how the PWS responds to particular situations and people, and how to change that response.
The frames you put around any behavior critically determine your responses. Every frame slants your interpretation of events, and will be more or less useful for achieving a particular objective. Therefore you need to develop the ability to shift frames at will as part of running your own mind and managing your own states. To change the meaning of some event or some behavior, adopt an alternative frame or mode of perception.Reframing – changing your mind
Because every frame is a biased and partial perception of reality, it is always possible to change the bias and see things from a different point of view. Reframing changes the meaning of an experience. You reframe your understanding by seeing things from a different point of view. An oft-quoted example is that of the half-filled glass of water: is it half-empty or half-full? The glass of water stays the same; the frame of mind you have alters the meaning. This book could be said to be about reframing the meanings the PWS have placed around blocking and stuttering. By removing the negative associations to blocking and stuttering, the PWS finds it possible to regain fluency. Instead of responding to a situation with anxiety about their performance, they come to see this as an opportunity for expressing something important about themselves. The PWS adopts a more optimistic state of mind, putting greater trust in their body to perform well they can concentrate more on the content of what they have to say and monitor the responses they are getting from the other person.
Whatever the behavior, it is the meaning you give it that influences your state, your emotional response, and your potentiality for taking action. In every case I have worked with or know about, the PWS invariably sees blocking as something bad to be avoided. Given that meaning, they inevitably fear blocking. The act of fearing blocking creates the blocking. To become fluent the PWS has to release the old meanings they have associated with blocking and stuttering; the challenge for them is find new meanings which will serve them. The good news is that there are many ways of doing this. How reframing works
A point of view is just a point of view. However, some points of view provide interpretations of experience that enable more useful and effective interventions. There are always alternative points of view available to you; you are frequently changing your perception and understanding of the world. For example, think of how your attitude towards a famous sports star changes when they miss a vital goal, or you discover that they have been taking performance enhancing drugs, cheating on their partner, and so on. Although you know there are options, the mind cannot actually entertain two different points of view simultaneously. Remember the picture of the Old Hag/Young Woman (Figure 3.3). You see one or the other, but not both simultaneously. Only one thing at a time, even though you know it could be otherwise.
This chapter deals with the conscious reframing of blocking. Although reframing may occur naturally, NLP offers some systematic ways of deliberately changing the meaning of experience, and thus leads to a change in behavior. One way to do that is to turn around the language someone uses. You could think:
“What would be a more useful way of putting this?”
“What would be the opposite of that?”
For example, reframe the statement:
“If I block, people will judge me as being an inadequate person.”
by changing it to:
“If people judge me as being inadequate if I block, that is their problem. My sense of self-worth comes from how I view myself and not from what others may or may not think of me.”
This example of reframing changes the locus of control. You put yourself in charge rather than anyone else dictating how they think you should be.
This is a good example of the need for updating childhood maps. The PWS can identify and then reframe those old childhood beliefs. They need to deliberately do this at first, until it becomes natural. For example, they can reframe the belief “I am a weirdo for blocking” by thinking:
“No way! I am nothing of the kind! I learned that behavior as a child. Now that I am an adult I realize that I am far more than just a ‘behavior’. And being an adult who is constantly learning, I am in the process of conquering this behavior.”
“No, it may have seemed to some that I was a weirdo for blocking, but if they go on thinking that, then that is their problem. They are only seeing a part of me, and they need to be more adult.”
“I am far more than just a person with a challenging behavior. I am a kind person. I am a loving person. I am resourceful and caring. I am in charge of my
