In Chapter Two I mentioned how people layer their thoughts and lock the original thought in with judgments, opinions, conditions, and so on. Usually the PWS does this in a negative way, laying negative thought on top of negative thought. This has a multiplying effect on their fear and anxiety, and makes the block harder to shift. However, you can utilize the same kind of thinking but have it work for you by changing the nature of the thoughts you add. By building layers of positive thoughts and resources, and by applying them to their concept of their self the positive multiplying effect creates an even more empowered person.
Exercise 6.1: Increasing self-esteem
The purpose of the Self-Esteem pattern is to make sure the PWS has three kinds of powerful resources that will change the way they respond to those situations that used to lead to blocking. Overview
Access resource state for each A: Acceptance, Appreciation, Awe.
Amplify each state and apply to your concept of self.
Identify a needed context for greater self-esteem.
Apply your powerful self-esteeming state where it is needed.
Imagine a new future.
Personal ecology check.
Figure 6.2: Accessing resources
1. Access a resource state for each A.
Access each state by remembering an occasion on which you were able to accept, appreciate or be in awe of something about yourself (Figure 6.2). Find a code or word for each of those states, so that you can access the state again when you choose.
Acceptance – Remember a time when you were able to accept something that challenged you: perhaps someone mentioned one of your personal qualities that you had not been aware of, or acknowledged one of your skills that you had been taking for granted. When you thought about it, you were able to accept that truth about yourself at that time.
Appreciation – Think of something that you do naturally and well, which you really appreciate as one of your talents. Are you proud of your family, your home, your work? All around you is evidence of your positive achievements. Feel the glow of self-appreciation and anchor that.
Awe – Think of the range of your potential as a human being – all the things you aspire to, that you desire to become, that you stand in awe of. What is there that just blows your mind because it is so awesome? I look up at the night sky and contemplate its vastness and its mystery; I listen to great music in awe and become immersed in its complexity and beauty.
2. Amplify the three states and apply each of them to your concept of self.
Amplify each state in turn so that it is robust enough to apply to your sense of self. Think of your self as meaning who you are as a unique person having your own life experiences, desires and capabilities. You can amplify the qualities of a state by making your image of it more colorful, bigger, brighter, and so on. Use positive and empowering language to support a strong sense of acceptance, appreciation and awe/esteem.
Activate each amplified resource in turn, and be fully in it. You could imagine stepping into a resource bubble and allowing it to permeate your whole being; or you could imagine your resource radiating from a source deep inside you, filling your whole body and even the space around you. In this way you have a stronger self-concept available for accepting, appreciating and esteeming more of yourself.
Apply these resources one at a time to your sense of self, to who you are (Figure 6.3). Just get a thought of yourself and apply each resource to that thought. You are meta-stating yourself using these three resource states. For example, I can just think of myself as “Bob” and then apply those states to that sense of “Bob”. “I accept Bob”, “I appreciate Bob”, and, “I stand in absolute amazement, awe and esteem of Bob.” It actually brings tears to my eyes every time I do it. This pattern asks you to love yourself. If that is a novel idea for you, go ahead and do it any-how, even if you have to force yourself to do it!
Figure 6.3: Increasing self-esteem
There are several ways of applying resource states. For example, you could first get into a resourceful state, and then being in that step into and merge with that other you. Or you could be in observer or fifth position and beam the resources to yourself, onto that you over there. Then step into that you and facing that higher self, accept those resources into your being.
Having applied your three resources of acceptance, appreciation and awe to your sense of self, you are now more personally empowered and ready to imagine yourself fully charged up in another context where this resource would be useful.
3. Identify a needed context for applying these three resources.
Decide in what context you would prefer a more resourceful response. Choose one of those situations where your self-esteem used to go into the gutter and where the blocking was particularly in evidence. This could be a context where you were inclined to feel self-contempt, question your own nature, doubt your abilities, or dislike yourself.
4. Apply your powerful self-esteeming state where
