When you congruently say Yes to a thought, you associate into that thought. The effect of saying Yes is to put you inside the thought, as it were, to accept it instead of just thinking about whatever it was. The more often you say Yes to a thought, the more real it becomes, the more it features in your model of the world. A belief which is integrated into your system of meaning influences your thinking and behavior. For example, if you say Yes to the belief that you can be fluent in all contexts, then you get on and do it. If it just remains a thought – which is often the case with much that you read in Self-Help books – you are not committed to doing anything. By committing yourself, by saying Yes, you make it real and become sufficiently motivated to take action to change the behavior.
The reverse is also true. You can change your behavior, become uncertain, unmotivated by converting a belief back into a thought by saying No to it. Again, this may take some repetition. But guess what? It works! I have had several people state, “It can’t be that simple!” Well, yes, it is that simple. A key aspect of all behavior change is saying No to what you don’t want and saying Yes to what you do want. If you can congruently accept or reject a belief – with the whole of your body, mind, and spirit – you have the means to change your behavior at will.
How many beliefs did you once hold that you no longer subscribe to? I use to believe that Santa Claus came down the chimney, but I don’t believe that anymore. Gradually and painfully I gathered enough evidence to say No to that belief. Now note that I said, “I gathered enough evidence.” I changed that belief into a thought by saying No to it in stages. I started to become uncertain, and this was reinforced by my peers and by my parents who sort of admitted that they had been responsible for all the presents. But hey, you can give yourself a huge present by saying Yes to fluency, and No to stuttering and blocking. Are there any reasons for not doing this?
Exercise 6.3: The No to Yes Pattern
Use this process for changing your current limiting beliefs about stuttering and blocking. This technique provides a quick and effective way of removing any limiting beliefs and of installing empowering beliefs which support your commitment to success in fluency. This pattern for decommissioning old programs is one of the PWS’s favorites.
Preparation: Check the ecology for this pattern before you use the process. You need to ensure that you have a top-notch belief that you want to confirm as being true for you.
What enhancing and empowering beliefs would you really like to have running that would allow you to say a great big “No” to those limiting beliefs around blocking and stuttering? Which of those beliefs stands in your way the most?
Have you had enough of it? Or do you need more pain?
When you no longer have that belief, is that OK with all parts of you?
Will it be OK to not have that belief in your family life, work life and social life?
What empowering belief would you like to have in its place?
What could you say a great big “Yes” to instead having that old limiting belief?”
As you think about having that new belief, is it OK with all parts of you?
Will it be OK to have that new belief in your family life, work life and social life?
For example:
I will say “No” to believing that I am a failure because I block and stutter.
I will say “Yes” to believing that I am innately a person of worth. Overview
Get a No – Access a good strong No!
Say “No!” to the limiting belief.
Access a strong and robust Yes!
Say “Yes!” to the enhancing belief.
YES the “Yes!” repeatedly and put into the future.
1. Get a No – Access a good strong No!
Think of something that you can say “No!” to, with every fiber of your body, in a way that is fully congruent. For example: Would you push a little child in front of a speeding bus, just for the fun of it? Would you eat a bowl of disgusting filth?
Say that “No!” repeatedly until you can notice how you image that. Take a mental snapshot of it.
Anchor your No! with a with a physical gestures. Feel the No in your body; hear your voice saying “No!”
2. Say “No!” the limiting belief.
Feel all of this powerful “No!” fully as you think about that stupid, useless, limiting belief (for example: “I am afraid I will block”).
And you can keep on saying “No!” to that limiting belief until you begin to feel that it no longer has any power to run your programs, or that it has no more room in your presence or in your mind.
And how many more times, with what voice, tone, gesturing, do you need to totally disconfirm that old belief so that you know deep inside that it will no longer control your behavior?
3. Access a strong and robust Yes!
Think about something that every fiber of your being says “Yes!” to without any question or doubt. (For example: “I love my
