“Are you my new daddy now?”
Well, shit, I hadn’t seen that one coming. And I’d be damned if I didn’t wish I could say yes. “No. Your daddy will always be your daddy. He’s coming home tomorrow.”
Happy day. I couldn’t wait. But I kept my feelings to myself. This wasn’t about me.
“You kissed my mommy.”
“Yeah, I did. Is that okay with you?”
No answer. We were almost at the vineyard, so I kept driving. I swung a left, pulled up to the valet and put the car in park. No expense had been spared for this wedding.
After exiting the car, I handed the keys to the attendant. I opened the back door, but before I unbuckled Noah’s seat belt, I probed him for answers. “Are you upset that I kissed your mommy?”
He shrugged, not looking at me. “Noah. Look at me.”
“No.” He kicked the seat with the heels of his feet. “I want out.”
I rubbed the back of my neck and tried to figure out what to say to him. He was too young to understand the craziness of this situation and I didn’t want to put him in the middle of it. I wasn’t his father. I was just his uncle who also happened to be the man who loved his mother. Was it my place to tell him what the score was?
“Does it make you mad when I kiss your mommy?” I asked, trying a different tactic.
He shook his head. Relieved that it didn’t make him angry, I forged on.
“How does it make you feel?” I sounded like a shrink, and fuck if I didn’t hate that question. Noah obviously felt the same way. He scowled at me. How could I expect a four-year-old to have all the answers when I didn’t have them either?
“I love your mom. I’d never do anything to hurt her.” Lies. But that was all in the past. “And I’d never do anything to hurt you, okay?”
He relented a bit, like he was listening and absorbing the information. Processing it in his head and trying to make sense of it.
“Your dad will always be there for you,” I assured him. “That won’t ever change. But your mom needs friends of her own too. And I’m her... special friend.” Special friend? I sounded like a douche. “So what do you say? Can we have fun at this party?”
He nodded and then he grinned and I let out a sigh of relief as I unclipped his seat belt. Then I texted Lila to let her know we’d arrived and we were standing outside the stone, terracotta-roofed winery that looked like a Tuscan villa.
I hadn’t seen Lila since six o’clock this morning when she left for work. She and Christy had designed all the floral arrangements for the weddings so the last time I saw her, nine hours ago, she was wearing jeans, a T-shirt, and no makeup, her hair in one of those messy buns.
But now... fuck me. She wore her hair half up, half down, waves falling over her bare shoulders. Her dress was midnight blue and strapless with a full skirt that stopped just below her knee. But damn, those shoes. Black strappy high-heeled sandals with thick ribbons that tied around her ankle. I wanted to untie them with my teeth.
When she spotted us, she paused on the verandah and put her hand over her mouth as I led Noah up the stairs to meet her.
“Oh my God, you look so... you both look... you’re gorgeous.” Her smile was aimed at both of us.
“And you look so fu-udging beautiful.” Good save. Remembering Noah, I’d caught myself just in time.
A laugh burst out of her. “Fudging beautiful?”
“Uh huh. It’s the sweeter version of ducking beautiful.”
“You look ducking beautiful, Mommy,” Noah piped up.
I laughed.
“Thank you, honey. But let’s not say ducking.”
“Okay.” He paused a beat. “You look fudging beautiful.”
That made me laugh harder. Lila elbowed me in the ribs. “Stop.”
Chapter Forty-Five
Lila
“Let’s say our goodbyes.” I grabbed Jude’s hand. “We need to get Noah and tell him it’s time to go.”
“No, we don’t.”
“Yes, we do. We don’t have to stay for this.”
“We’re staying.”
“Seriously, Jude. It’s been an amazing time. I don’t want to ruin it.” His jaw clenched. Clearly, I’d hit a nerve, but I wanted to end on a high note and I didn’t want to subject him to a firework display. “Let’s get Noah and—”
“He’s looking forward to this. It’s all he’s been talking about. We’re not going to disappoint him.”
“Are you going to be okay though?”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m okay.”
“You don’t have to do this.”
“Lila. Stop. Noah wants to see the fireworks. We’re doing this.”
“You have nothing to prove to me.”
He exhaled a frustrated breath. I was annoying him with my protests but I wanted him to be absolutely sure that this was something he could handle. He didn’t have to be subjected to undue stress.
“I have a lot to prove, but this isn’t one of them. I can mentally prepare myself for a firework display.”
I hated that a firework display was something he had to mentally prepare himself for. That he had to work this hard. But at the same time, I admired his strength and all the hard work he’d done to get to this place.
So we stayed for the fireworks.
He wrapped his arms around me from behind and I leaned back against his solid chest, felt the strength in his arms and my heartbeat kicked up a notch. I didn’t know how hard it was for him to do this or how much he wished he could be anywhere but here. But he did it.
When I tipped my head back to look at him, his eyes met mine, the fireworks reflected on his face highlighted the sheen of sweat. But still, he smiled and I returned the smile.
I looked over at Noah who was sitting with all the other kids in the open field, his face rapt as
