“So cool. Best thing ever.”
“Yeah.” Smile still firmly in place, Noah focused on the fireworks again, and a part of me wished that he could stay so young and innocent forever. That he’d never know the pain of heartbreak or the effects of war or have to mourn the death of a loved one. But that wasn’t how life worked.
Noah was finally asleep and fingers crossed he was out for the count. Closing his door softly, I padded down the hallway in my bare feet, the skirt of my dress swishing against my thighs. Exhausted, I flopped onto the bed next to Jude who was lying on his back, staring at the ceiling. He was still wearing his dress shirt untucked and pants, the jacket of his tux hanging on my closet door.
“This feels like prom night,” I said, rolling onto my side and propping my head on my hand.
He laughed a little. “On prom night, we barely got through the door before we were ripping each other’s clothes off.”
“You’re right. We’re overdressed.”
“We were supposed to be married with four kids by now.” He sounded so sad that it ripped my heart in two.
“We can’t think about what could have been.”
“But you do, don’t you? You think about it. I never thought I’d be that guy, Rebel. I used to think that I was too strong to let something fuck with my head like that. It was something that happened to other guys, not me. And when I look back at that time, I still can’t believe it was me.”
I placed my hand over his heart. “It wasn’t you. It was someone else. It wasn’t my Jude.”
“It was me, baby. And I’d give anything to take back all the pain and suffering I put you through.”
“And I’d give anything to take away all the pain and suffering you went through. But I think… you did what you set out to do, Jude. And I was so proud of you. The few. The proud. The Marines. Semper Fi. You were my hero.”
“Until I became a monster.”
“Not a monster. Not a god. A mere mortal, just like the rest of us. You tried so hard but you didn’t have the right support and I just wish… I wish we could have found you the help you needed. I wish love had been enough to heal you.”
“Nobody could have loved me better. You’re my once in a lifetime.”
“And you’re mine. Why does everything have to be so hard for us?”
“I don’t know, baby. I guess that’s just how we are. The bull and the lion.”
“You’re my Odysseus.”
“You’re my Penelope.”
“So why does it still feel like you haven’t found your way home yet? Why am I so scared that you aren’t here to stay?”
“I don’t know. What more can I do to prove it to you?”
I didn’t have an answer.
“Let me show you,” he said. “Let me show you what coming home feels like.”
Warmth radiated from his touch and left a trail of heat in its wake. He kissed below my ear. My cheek. My jaw. Pressed his lips to the pulse point at my neck. Kissed my shoulder. My wrist.
Calloused hands, rough against my soft skin, glided up my thighs. Over my breasts. Up my neck and into my hair. His hand clasped mine and he laced our fingers together, resting our joined hands beside my head as his lips traveled from my jaw to my ear and he whispered, “Tell me this doesn’t feel like home.”
And it felt exactly like home because my home was him. It had always been him.
He slid inside me, and it was slow, and we were silent, our bodies saying everything our words couldn’t. I curved away from the bed, the balls of my feet digging into the mattress, and he thrust harder. He groaned into my neck as he stroked in and out.
A fire ignited in my soul, burning only for him.
I touched his face and he kissed my lips, so gently, with a reverence that brought tears to my eyes. He pushed in deeper and my eyes drifted shut, a lone tear trailing down my cheek.
“Jude,” I whispered. How had I lived without him for so long?
My back arched off the mattress and he kissed me again. My nails dug into his back as he stroked deeper, harder, filling up the space inside me he’d created for himself so many years ago.
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
All I could think about was him. All I could feel was him. All I wanted and needed was him.
“You’re my home.”
Forever. Always.
Chapter Forty-Six
Jude
“Is it ready to flip?” Noah tilted his head to look up at me. He was so fucking cute. In only a few short weeks, I’d gotten attached to him. I looked forward to spending time with him, as much as I looked forward to seeing Lila every day.
“Do you see the bubbles?” I asked him.
He studied the pancakes in the pan then nodded. “I see them.”
“That means it’s time to flip. But remember what I told you?”
“Be careful. Don’t touch the pan. Cause it’s hot,” he repeated the words I’d told him.
“It’s really hot and I don’t want you to get burned.”
“I know.”
I stayed right beside him, ready to intervene if necessary but unlike the way he did most things, he approached this task cautiously. I wrapped my hand around his and helped him get the spatula all the way under the pancake before he tried to flip it.
“I can do it.”
I released his hand and I watched him do it. The pancake was a bit burnt, which I suspected would be the case but I’d eat this batch.
I set the stack of pancakes on the island next to the bacon and Noah climbed onto his
