rule fourteen: life has cliffhangers, too.
I swallowed. My mouth resembled a desert, and I wasn’t sure any amount of water would stop this feeling. “What?”
Josh ran his hand through his hair and puffed out his cheeks as he exhaled. “She’s not wrong.”
“But that—that—”
“That means I have feelings for you,” he said with a hard edge to his voice. “There. Are you happy now? You know the truth.”
I said nothing.
“No? I didn’t think so. There’s a reason I’ve never told you, and it’s because you’re Colton’s sister, not because that’s how I see you. I would have lived the rest of my life never telling you because he’s my best friend and I’d be pissed if it was the other way around, but you just keep pushing and pushing and—”
“My brother has no say over the choices I make! After all this, don’t you think I have a right to know if that’s how you feel about me?”
“No. Because this would happen. Because it changes everything and we both know that nothing can ever happen.”
“Why? Because Colton says so?”
“No, because I respect you far too much to ever put you in a position where you could get hurt.”
“Sounds like you don’t want to get punched by my brother.”
He shrugged a shoulder. “I’ve seen his right hook. I can’t say I’m interested in feeling it for myself.”
“Don’t make this a joke, Josh.”
He threw his arms out. “What do you want me to do, Kins? I thought setting you up would mean you’d find a guy you could go out with and be happy with and that would be the kick I needed to accept it would never happen.”
“So why don’t you let me?”
“Because I’m a fucking dumbass idiot who didn’t think through the consequences of seeing you date other men.”
I looked at him for a long moment. Realization set in with a heavy cloud, and the lump in my throat was almost unbearable. “Because the guy I’d be dating isn’t you.”
His nostrils flared, and he stared at the books the right of us. “Two guys. Two guys, and I’m done. I can’t do it anymore, all right? I can’t set you up on anymore dates.”
What if I don’t want anymore?
The question lingered on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t quite spit it out.
“I can’t see you go out with these guys, Kins. I can’t. And—I can’t do this either.” He threw his hands up in surrender and walked past me.
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
He stilled. “I told you—”
“No, you gave me some bullshit. Tell me the truth.”
He turned back to me. “Because if I told you, I’d have to tell Colton, and telling him that I have feelings for his sister is the biggest betrayal I could dish out to him. And I won’t do that. I won’t betray him like that.”
“You’re acting like you made a pact not to date each other’s sisters.” When he didn’t answer, I knew. “Oh, my God. You did.”
His chin jerked in response. “We promised each other we’d never do it. And I won’t break my promise to him.”
“And do I not get a say in this?”
“A say in what? The mistake I’ve made of telling you? Of setting you up with other guys? Of not keeping my mouth shut?”
“Of what happens in my life?”
“Don’t—”
“Don’t what?”
Josh turned back to me and met my eyes. His green-gray gaze was greener than usual, and his eyes were blazing with pent-up frustration that told me just how long he’d kept this to himself.
“How long?” I asked, pressing my hands to my stomach. “How long have you kept this to yourself? How long have you lied about how you feel about me?”
“I’m not answering that.” He laughed, and it was sad. Hollow. Almost broken.
And in that, I knew the answer.
Too long.
My stomach flipped and my chest tightened and my skin pimpled with goosebumps. And I gave a command I’d never given in my awkward, introverted life.
“Kiss me.”
He blinked at me. “What?”
“If you really feel like that, you’ll kiss me.”
“I just told you why I can’t do that.”
“Fine. Then I’ll have to kiss you.” I stalked over to him, fully intent on slapping my lips against his.
He caught my upper arms, holding me at arm’s length. “Kinsley…”
“Don’t you Kinsley me!” I shouted. “You stand in front of me and tell me all this stuff and everything suddenly makes sense and now you want to be a freaking white knight, Josh? No. If you feel all those things for me, if they’re real, then you’ll kiss me and—”
“I won’t do it to Colton. He’s your brother. He’s my best friend.”
“And I’ll tell him.” The petty threat escaped before I could stop it. When he froze, I knew I’d hit my mark. “Kiss me, or I’ll tell him everything you just told me.”
“That’s below the belt, and you know it.”
“I don’t care.” My throat bobbed with emotion. “I don’t care if it makes me petty. Because sometimes I feel things, too, and I don’t understand them, because it’s you, and I need to know I’m not insane.”
He softened. “Kins…”
“And if you don’t kiss me right now, I’m telling Colton and going on a date with Elliott tonight and I’ll make out with him instead.”
His lips pulled to one side. “Do you know how utterly ridiculous that sounds?”
My own lips twitched, and I nodded. “Really, really petty.”
“I can’t do it, Kins,” he said in a voice that was barely above a whisper. “I can’t do it to him.”
“Then don’t.” My lower lip trembled. “If I kiss you, and you just stand there and do nothing, then technically speaking, you didn’t kiss me.”
His jaw clenched, and his fingers twitched on my upper arms. “Do you really believe I can stand here and do nothing?”
“I don’t really care.” I shrugged his arms off and closed the distance between us.
Our bodies were almost pressed together. Josh dipped his head, and his breath fluttered over my lips as I hesitated in front of
