Jess was gone.
The feisty woman, full of perfection and flaws, who’d walked into her life and changed it in the best and worst ways was lost to her forever.
Libby lay her head down next to Jess’s and cried for her friend. For herself. For Leo and the utter unfairness of it all.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
A week after Jess’s death, Libby, Nick and the children packed up Freedom and disappeared for six days, leaving Alice at Burrunan minding Monty.
“Are you sure you want to be on your own?” Karen asked Alice as they stood on the pier waving to the departing yacht.
“I haven’t spent any time on my own in a month. I think it might be nice.”
“I guess you can always invite Dan over if you’re lonely,” Karen said brightly.
Alice appreciated how hard her mother was trying to accept her life choices and her arrangement with Dan, so she decided to put her out of her misery. “About Dan. He proposed.”
Karen stared at her openmouthed. “Dan van den Berg? The commitment-phobe asked you to marry him?”
“In a roundabout way. And you know how worried you’ve been that he’d hurt me? Well, it turns out I’m the one who did the damage. I said yes, because we get on so well and I didn’t want to be lonely. Then I realized even though I can’t have kids, we still want very different things. I hate that I’ve hurt him.”
“Does Hil know?”
“I doubt it. And please don’t say anything. I’d hate for the gossips to catch hold of it.”
“And it’s just the sort of thing they’d latch on to now Jess is dead and there’s nothing left to say.” Karen hugged her. “I’m sorry for Dan’s heartache, but if he doesn’t make you happy, darling, then you’ve done the right thing.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“You and your father are right. I’ve wasted far too much energy worrying about you when you know exactly what you want and need.”
Alice laughed. “That might be overselling it just a tad.”
“I don’t think so.” Karen kissed her. “I have to go. I’m on setup duty for the U3A Christmas lunch.”
They headed off in different directions and Alice slowed at the mural, held up by a group of Japanese tourists taking photos. She got a jolt of pride watching them and her heart turned over at the sight of a little black-haired child squatting down and patting the swan.
Oh God! The swan! With everything that had happened with Dan and then Jess, it was more than a week since she’d promised to pay Holly. Harry had sent a brief email a few days earlier, telling her Holly was at school camp so there was no need for tutoring. Alice had been too busy to reply, not to mention piqued that he hadn’t asked her how things were going.
He always asked her how she was—his question matched by his intense green eyes seeking answers beyond her words. Of course, when he’d sent the email, he might not have known Jess had died, but he certainly knew she’d been deteriorating. Then again, perhaps Jess’s situation brought back difficult memories of Helene so he couldn’t ask. And it wasn’t like he knew Jess, so there’d been no reason for him to write to her expressing his condolences.
But he knows me! She shrugged away the feeling that was part annoyance, part disappointment, part hurt and part something so intangible she had no hope of explaining it.
“This is ridiculous.”
A couple of tourists turned around, giving her a confused look before bowing politely. Alice bowed back, embarrassed she’d been caught talking to herself in public. She crossed the road, walked to the ATM, withdrew Holly’s money and drove to the Waxmans’.
Harry’s car was in the drive but Brutus wasn’t in the yard. Alice knocked on the back door and waited. After the third knock and still no reply, she sat on the steps and rummaged through her tote bag, finding a crumpled envelope and a pen.
Hi Holly, here’s your money for the swan. The tourists are loving it so I hope you visit it and see their joy. I bet camp was awesome fun. Looking forward to hearing all about it. I’ll see you over vacation. Love Alice x
A wet nose shoved its way onto the envelope in her lap before two dark eyes gave her a doleful stare.
Alice ruffled the dog’s ears. “Hey Brutus.”
Harry’s black walking shoes came into view and Alice looked up, taking in his bare legs, rust-colored shorts, an unfamiliar but new blue and white T-shirt and a battered sunhat. He looked exactly like Harry—part on point, part disheveled and undeniably attractive.
Despite the HRT patch on her thigh, she suddenly felt hot.
“Alice.” His intonation was neither friendly or unfriendly.
Flustered, she stood up. “I was just dropping off Holly’s money. With everything going on, it slipped my mind. Sorry.”
He shrugged. “Don’t worry about it.”
She didn’t know where to put herself and Harry wasn’t helping. “Are you okay?”
“Fine.”
All she had to do was hand him the envelope and leave, but every other time she’d visited he’d been welcoming and insisted she come in. Suddenly she wanted to sort out where she stood in regard to his family. Subcontractor to him and friend to his kids? Just an art tutor?
“Can I come in?”
Surprise flickered on his face. “You know the kids are at camp, right?”
What did that have to do with anything? “Yes.”
“And you still want to come in?”
“Yes!”
He walked past her and unlocked the door. Brutus bolted inside, claiming the couch.
Alice followed them. The house positively sparkled, a sure sign Harry was worried. “You’re not stressing about camp, are you?”
“No. They love camp.”
“So …?”
“I can offer you tea or coffee or would you prefer something cold?”
The excruciatingly polite invitation flayed her like a whip. “Harry, what’s going on? First you were weird on our
