“No,” I whisper. “I can’t. I’m not the one for you.”
Tommy blinks, and I get the strange sense that I just kicked a puppy. It had to be done though.
He sighs and leans back, and I can see that at last he gets it. He tried, and I give him credit for that. I wouldn’t want him to keep this locked away inside him forever. He gave it his best shot, but it’s not going to work out. We both need to move on.
The saddest part is that I’m losing a friend. Tommy and I will never be able to return to the easy camaraderie we once shared. Not after this. Instead of enjoying our final days before graduation, we are going to have to feel awkward and strained.
Tommy has been one of my best friends in college, but now I’m not even sure if I want to stay in touch with him as I move on with my life. I feel bad for Becca too. Whether or not I share this with her, our friend group is never going to be what it once was.
“I’m sorry,” Tommy says. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“It’s ok,” I say. “I’m sorry too.”
I look over at him as he hunches over his steering wheel, and I feel an overwhelming rush of pity. This conversation has been awkward for the both of us, but at least I didn’t put my heart on the line only to get it crushed. That might happen to me later with Nate, but for now I have hope that Nate and I could work out.
“Tommy, someday you’re going to meet the right person,” I say. “And it’s going to be amazing, I promise.”
I lean forward and kiss him on the cheek. Then I unbuckle and get out of the car.
Tommy gives me a faint wave and pulls out. I stand in the driveway as he turns onto the street and disappears.
“Well, that was adorable.”
I jump at the sarcastic voice emerging from the shadows. I turn and there is Nate, emerging from the darkness like some sort of vengeful demon.
My heart drops into my stomach as I see the look on his face. He’s not happy to see me. In fact, he wears an expression of pure and unbridled fury.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Nate
If seeing Cynthia talk to another guy was agony, watching her kiss him was beyond agony. I have never felt such rage. If the kiss had lasted any longer, I would have torn open the car door and yanked him away from her.
Cynthia looks up at me, her face a mix of shock and worry. She doesn’t look guilty though.
I’m still not sure if she should. Yes, it was a brief kiss, and we never defined our relationship, but it still happened. She was still alone with another man in a situation that led to it. And I didn’t see her pulling away.
I have no idea what was said in that car. All I know is that the woman I thought was loyal and dedicated to me as much as I am to her just let another man kiss her.
“Nate,” Cynthia says. “How much did you see?”
I cross my arms. I want to scream and shout, but I don’t want to lose control. I’ve never hidden how I’ve felt from Cynthia, but now I don’t want her to know how upset this has made me.
“That was your good friend Tommy, I’m guessing.” My voice comes out in a low growl, and Cynthia flinches.
I get a sick sort of pleasure from watching her realize that I’m not happy. She takes a step back and inhales deeply. For a moment, I get a flash of sympathy. She looks so overwhelmed, I want to rush over and hold her in my arms and tell her it will be alright.
But I nip that instinctive urge in the bud. Cynthia has just shown that she can’t be trusted. And we’re not on the same page. I thought we had strong feelings that just needed to be expressed. I believed that our issue was timing and deciding how we were going to handle the future. Now it’s looking like we have a whole other batch of problems. Like Cynthia possibly being into another man.
All I know is that even though we have not declared monogamy, I wouldn’t dream of kissing another woman. Cynthia has become everything to me. And the fact that she isn’t as serious about me makes me want to punch a way. And then maybe Tommy’s face for good measure.
I should have known better than to woo a younger woman. She’s too immature and fickle to know what she wants.
“Nate, that was nothing,” Cynthia gasps.
She takes another step forward, one hand uplifted. She looks so fragile and innocent. Her face is somehow thinner than it was this morning, as if she’s lived through multiple days in the hours since last I saw her. If I wasn’t so furious with her, I would want to cook her a warm meal of soup and a cup of tea. That’s how exhausted she looks.
“It didn’t look like nothing,” I say.
“He kissed me but I didn’t kiss him back,” Cynthia says. “Please believe me.”
I hold up my hand. “I don’t know if I can believe you or trust you, Cynthia.”
Her shoulders deflate. She doesn’t even have the energy to fight me on this. I want her to fight though. I want her to kick and scream and tell me her side of the story. I want her to prove to me that she is who I thought she was. I want her to fight for the right to be mine.
She doesn’t say anything. She just looks down at the ground.
“Tommy is one of my best friends,” Cynthia whispers. “He told me he has feelings for me tonight.”
Pain, hot and sharp, lances
