He’d felt uncomfortable with some of the things she’d pointed out to him, and he was old enough to know that if he felt uncomfortable about it then she was probably right.
He stood in front of the door to the bedroom and wondered if she would welcome him inside. Or punch him in the face. He would take either because either meant they were communicating.
But what if they could find a better way to work through the pain? Tag was right. Kim was a deeply independent woman who needed to submit sexually to feel free to enjoy the pleasure sex could bring her. He was a man who needed control in order to truly unleash a part of himself he didn’t indulge in his daily life. It was why they’d been so good together back then.
It’s why you can be good together now. All you have to do is stop being so fucking angry.
Or he could talk to her. He could start there. He knocked on the door and waited.
After a moment he opened the door and realized she was gone.
Ezra shoved his feet in shoes and vowed to not let her get away.
* * * *
Solo wandered around the dungeon, letting her hands brush against the leather-covered furniture that probably wasn’t meant for seating. She was pretty sure she was looking at a spanking bench. The dungeon floor was a pretty red and black stained concrete, but the walls were mostly decorated with heavy velvet drapes that would mask the sounds coming out of here, trapping all those moans and groans and shouts of pleasure/pain in this space.
She had to wonder how many times Beck had walked the floor of The Garden. The dungeon at Damon Knight’s London club was totally different from this, but it was every bit as decadent and beautiful.
Of course she hadn’t been allowed to play. She’d been allowed to use one of the privacy rooms, specifically the one that contained a sauna, but only because she’d requested it for medical reasons.
All of her life she’d looked for a place where she could be accepted. It sucked that Beck—the one who’d kind of had a stick in his ass when it came to sex—had been the one to find it. It would have been cool, but he was the very reason she was left out in the cold.
I’m sorry. Normally I welcome a submissive who wants to explore, but I think having you in the dungeon would make Ezra…uncomfortable.
She could still hear Damon’s words when he’d turned her down. It had taken a lot of her pride and courage to ask him. It wasn’t easy to admit what she wanted. Of course she’d heard the words he hadn’t said—everyone would be uncomfortable. Even Ari.
She’d gotten used to the fact that even her friend didn’t completely trust her. No one did.
She groaned as the pain shot down her right leg, and she was reminded why she’d come down here in the first place.
Pain.
“Is it bugging you?” Beck asked.
She nearly jumped out of her skin but managed to stay cool. “I didn’t hear you behind me.”
“I thought we should still be quiet even though the light tells me we’re alone. You snuck out while I was in the shower.”
“I didn’t think you would notice since you wouldn’t take the bed. Did I forget to close the door?” She’d snuck out because she’d needed a place to stretch. The bedroom was far too small, and she hadn’t wanted to bother Beck. They’d pretty much been silent for hours. She’d sat at the laptop searching the Deep Web for anyone who had information they would share with her. He’d been on the phone with Damon. She’d made them both sandwiches that she’d forced herself to eat in silence.
“I opened it to check on you,” he admitted.
Of course he had. He didn’t even trust her to sleep properly. “I wasn’t trying to leave if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“I know, but I did check to make sure your bag was still there. I know you think it would be easier to do this on your own.”
She shook her head. “No, I don’t. Not in any way. But I do think it would be easier to have a partner who trusted me, who wanted to be with me.”
His hands went to his hips, a sure sign all that silence from him was threatening to explode. “I came for you.”
“I know, and I have to wonder why.” She winced as the pain shot through her again.
“Lie down on the table. The one to your left.”
“I’m fine but I need to stretch.” She’d managed to go hours without talking to him. She didn’t intend to start now.
He wasn’t ready to move past what they’d been through. He might never be ready. When his brother had died, something had broken inside Beck and she wasn’t sure it could be healed. At least not by her.
She would walk a bit and stretch and get through the pain.
He moved in and she suddenly found herself swept up into his arms.
“Hey,” she said even as she held on.
“I’m sorry I’m being an ass,” he said quietly as he moved toward the table he’d pointed out. “I can’t seem to help myself with you.”
“A good reason for you to go back to The Garden as soon as it’s safe.” In so many ways it would be easier to be on her own. Simply being around him broke her heart.
He laid her gently on the big table. “Roll on your stomach. I still remember how to do this.”
Because in the beginning, he’d been the one to deal with the pain left from her time with an unfriendly government. In their defense, she had been spying at the time, but it didn’t help the shooting pains she still got or the aches she suffered from the broken femur.
Beck had been the one
