Currency
With only a few minor exceptions, all planets in SPACE accept the universal currency known as Starbucks, which take the form of small golden rectangles. These are minted and regulated by the Egh – an alien species whose defining characteristic is that they are obsessed with money – and come in denominations starting at 14.99 million. Regrettably, you see, the Syndicate’s recent initiative to expand their fleet of Science Dreadnoughts[34] tenfold has necessitated the printing of quite a bit of new money, and inflation has become a bit of an issue.
DAILY SAMPLE COSTS
BUDGET: Less than 10 billion Starbucks
Zero-G bunk in the crew section of Outpost Bravo (smoker’s berth): 5bn SB
One day’s Space Man Misery Rations: 1.5bn SB
Ten minutes in the Outpost Bravo Imagination Hole: 2bn SB
One day’s flight aboard a Space Man rocketship: 7bn SB
MIDRANGE: Between 10–50 billion Starbucks
Homestay with a family of Jalllooare Sandranchers: 42bn SB
Tall glass of premium green SPACEmilk: 14bn SB
Rental of a co-pilot seat in an insurrectionist fighter craft: 31bn SB
Passage aboard a supposedly crap freighter that ends up outflying military vessels: 36bn SB
TOP END: More than 50 billion Starbucks
Officer’s quarters on a Syndicate Science Dreadnought: 112bn SB
Exquisite seafood from a planet with loads of consonants in its name: 56bn SB
Ticket to a Syndicate Captains’ gala dinner (includes tickets to an Unk Fight): 173bn SB
Single Teleportation: 60bn SB (also technically costs your life as you are broken into your component atoms and then ‘printed’ elsewhere, but … y’know. Don’t think about it too hard)
DRESS TO FLOURESCE: SPACE FASHION
When choosing your outfit for day-to-day life among the stars, it’s better to fall on the side of the outré – among aliens in particular, there’s a running joke over which species can wear the most ludicrous costumes and still be taken seriously by humans. Inevitably, this long-running competition has accidentally spawned some genuine fashion miracles, and so alien communities on human stations and vessels tend to be something of a haute couture extravaganza. Here’s how to copy their look:
In general, silver fabrics are always a good choice, while sequins, headdresses and extravagantly weird make-up are all highly recommended.
Diaphanous fabrics are almost always a good shout, but shiny plastics can be a hit if you’ve got the confidence to pull them off.
Glowsticks. Everywhere you can stick them.
If you’re not dressing to impress, there are practical considerations. Cold is often an issue, especially on poorly insulated Space Man vessels, so a good knitted jumper is advisable at the very least.
Magnetic boots are also a good call, as, while artificial gravity is de rigueur in most off-planet situations, you don’t want to be left drifting like a poached egg if you find yourself on a ship without it.
IN SPACE, EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU SCREAM
If you’re spending time in the districts where the Space Men sleep, be prepared to endure the constant sound of worried barks and shouts – these poor sods are tormented by nightmares and fitful sleep, and the walls of their bunkhouses are paper-thin. There’s a reason why the cheapest accommodation in the station can be found here.
Don’t Forget to Pack …
Translatron
These superb gizmos, sold at kiosks run by Egh entrepreneurs on Outpost Bravo, allow the wearer to understand any language spoken in SPACE.[35]
Towel
One of the SPACE’s local guidebooks claims towels are completely essential packing for any visitor to the region, but I don’t really get the hype. I mean, they’re all right after a shower, or for wiping up sick after you’ve quacked a gutful in zero-G, but that’s about it.
A beach ball
On a SPACEship in distress, with just seconds to go until the hull breaches? ‘There’s no need to panic’, as they say! Just inflate this bad boy and keep it with you. Then, even if you do get blasted into the void, you’ll have a good few huffs of air to last until someone can throw you a SPACE Rope and haul you to safety.
Phillips-head screwdriver
Funny story, actually: I was on a Space Man rocketship headed to Syndicated SPACE when I spilled coffee on the controls and they jammed up completely.[36] The bloody vessel started plunging towards the heart of the nearest star, and I must admit I got fairly worried. But then, would you believe it, this fellow just showed up out of nowhere, wearing a ridiculous bow tie and a flappy coat, and waved a screwdriver at the dashboard. Fixed it instantly, then vanished again. No idea who the hell he was or what he did,[37] but I’ve carried a screwdriver with me ever since.
Manners and Etiquette
Say how impressive everything is
Especially among the Space Men, it’s worth downplaying how familiar you are with advanced technology, if only out of politeness. You see, the sheer quaintness of their technology will astound and delight you: it’s all shiny chrome and chunky, colourful buttons, along with green-screen computers, glowing orbs and cream plastic panelling. It might seem pathetic and obsolete, but the Space Men are very proud of their machinery and will be very upset if you laugh at it.
Shit in secret
For an unknown reason, Syndicate crewmembers have a mortal terror of being seen going to the loo. For this reason, the toilets on their ships are all hidden, ingeniously disguised as laboratories or store cupboards. This can be maddening at first, but it lends a weird speakeasy mystique to the business of taking a dump, and can be
