2. UNDERSTANDING MITTELVELDE
A Brief History
There’s no way to give a brief history of Mittelvelde. That’s not hyperbole – it’s genuinely impossible. The world’s past is divided up into (probably) nine ages, each of which have their own sets of gods, cultures and languages. Nonetheless, it’s worth knowing the very basics.
Mittelvelde Today
As a new tenth age blossoms following the war, Mittelvelde is on the up and up. As part of the peace treaty known as the Pact of Grimlakk, the Orc territory of Takkna’s Land has been liberated and ceded to the Bison King, who has renamed it New Tharn. Under his benevolent hand, the Duke’s war forges are being put to good use making consumer goods, providing honest work for the region’s Orcs and Goblins. Also, as a stipulation of the pact, the Bison King has secured a guarantee of safety for all tourists in Mittelvelde, and so communities that would have ripped tourists limb from limb just ten years ago are now hugely welcoming. Thanks to the Bison King, it’s a great time to visit Mittelvelde.[15]
Climate and Terrain
None of Mittelvelde’s landscapes do things in half measures. Its forests are ancient and gnarled, its mountains stately and eagle-haunted. Even the humming swamplands down south are majestic in a way, if you find the reek of wet guffs awe-inspiring. Geographers say Mittelvelde’s layout makes no sense whatsoever from a theoretical standpoint, with mountains arranged contrary to all understanding of geology and rivers chucked onto the map like a bunch of tired blue worms. But who cares? It looks absolutely smashing on a map, doesn’t it?[16] A warmer, drier climate prevails in the western plains of Syrillar, cooling to temperate as one enters the southern lands of the Bison King, while subarctic conditions can be found in the far south, as well as in the highlands and mountains of Kolkozar and Kranagar. The northern subcontinent of Fysteros has its own, peculiarly volatile climate that pays little heed to conditions in the rest of Tinnethaine. Summer can last years, before taking a hard swerve into a decades-long winter virtually overnight.[17] And, of course, in Bludvarle it’s shit all the time.
Floyd’s Tip
One big weather issue to flag is Wizards: when these fellows get into a barney over something, their mountaintop shouting matches can result in unseasonal blizzards and plagues of crows for miles around, which can absolutely destroy your picnic plans.
Wildlife
Mittelvelde’s wildlife falls into two broad categories: noble beasts and monsters. The former, which range through Tinnethaine’s overland, tend to be slightly more majestic versions of normal animals, while the latter dwell either in the deep woods or in the world’s sprawling underlayer of dungeons. In some cases, they’re just bigger versions of ‘nasty’ animals such as spiders or rats – but go deep enough, and you’ll encounter creatures that feel as if a team of anxious drunks were given a long weekend to fill a bestiary. Of course, many of Mittelvelde’s animal species are said to possess high intelligence, the ability to use tools, and advanced languages, leading to a growing movement to reclassify them as ‘people’ – but this seems a little far-fetched.[18] Dragons are a particular grey area (it’s hard to dismiss something as a big flying crocodile when it’s posing you a riddle, after all), but it’s only a matter of time before they’re all slain anyway, putting a neat end to the question.
THE AGES OF MITTELVELDE
[As summarised by Floyd, from orientation materials at the ‘Welcome to Mittelvelde!’ exhibition in Bannahirr’s tourist information centre.]
Y0–1320: THE FIRST AGE – An incomprehensible block of mythology in which the world was created. Some Wizards claim to have been there at the time, but Wizards say a lot of things, and are usually just trying to trick you into buying them a drink.
Y1321–2419: THE SECOND AGE – Probably Dwarves?
Y2420–4068: THE THIRD AGE – Elves arrive in Tinnethaine by boats from Larathainne. Initiating trade with the Dwarves, Queen Elaheime founds the Elven capital of Alethiar, and begins working on salad recipes, or whatever it is that Elves do to pass the time.
Y4069–4849: THE FOURTH AGE – More Elf stuff, most likely. Dragons, Ettins and many other spectacular creatures start to appear in Mittelvelde.
Y4850–5400: THE FIFTH AGE – Humans arrive in Tinnethaine, led by the Bison King’s ancestors, and a golden age begins. Late in the age, Fysteros is founded; the Fysterosi Civil War begins immediately.
Y5401–5832: THE SIXTH AGE – Darkness is brought into the world by Orcs and Goblins, who come out of a hole or something.[19] The first War of Inhuman Aggression is begun by Deepdark Baron Taschnak, whom Orcs call ‘the Defiant’.[20] The Fysterosi Civil War continues.
Y5833–6712: THE SEVENTH AGE – The Bison Kingdom is founded from a collection of war-weary principalities that defended against Taschnak. This happens just in the nick of time, as the first Bison King immediately has to defend against Bloodlord Shettkro, ‘the Protector’, in a second great war. Elves make less of an effort to help during this one. The Fysterosi Civil War continues.
Y6713–7004: THE EIGHTH AGE – Elves begin to depart Tinnethaine, ceding land to human communities settled by the Bison King. The Dwarven kingdom of Kranagar falls to the hoard of Bugnakk ‘the Avenger’. The Fysterosi Civil War continues.
Y7005–7221: THE NINTH AGE – Only a few Elvish communities remain; Dwarven culture consolidates around the ancient capital of Kolkozar. Late in the age, Mittelvelde shakes under the boots of Yattan-Gur, the Duke of Night, and the War of the Haunted Mace commences. At the last minute, the tactical genius of the Bison King turns the tide, and darkness is defeated. The Fysterosi Civil War continues.
The Serendipiteagle (Aquilafelix Gigas) is a vast bird of prey, beloved by
